What is the point of a WAKE?

Question

My bosses mom died, the wake is Thurs. i want to make an appearance, not sure what I am supposed to do when I am there.

Answer 1

Might I quote from Miss Manners for you about the subject:

When a person dies, those who cared about him or her have the obligations of attending the funeral service and family gathering afterwards, and of offering assistance, writing letters, and paying condolence visits to the immediate family.  The most graceful way of getting through all of these is to search one's mind until one has a supply of anecdotes about the dead person that are both favorable and believable.  Foibles that can be told with admiration are particularly effective.  These stories are crucial at a funeral in which eulogies are delivered by friends.  ....

They are also the proper conversation for wakes, post funeral gatherings, and other condolence visits, all of which should be bittersweet events in which one reminisces about the dead while consuming his liquor supply.  Additional presents of liquor, along with the traditional offering of cooked food to the bereaved, are a way of keeping such events going.  This is important to the immediate family.  While you may not assume that the deceased is preoccupied with the convenience of his friends and their social calendars, you must act on the idea that he would have been concerned with the emotional welfare of his family.  The formalities connected with death are designed with this in mind.

As you know, Miss Manners requires you, when someone you know has died, to write a letter of condolence to the family, attend the funeral or memorial service, and pay a formal visit on the family afterwards.  So she will tell you what to say.

Say, "I'm sorry."  Or "I'm so sorry" -- Miss Manners allows for individuality of expression.  If you can't manage that much, simply press the person's hand, look meaningfully into the eyes (this is done by raising the eyebrows from the nose bridge) and arrange the lips in the weight-of-the-world smile.

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There you have most of it.  Good luck, and remember... "I'm SO sorry!"

Have a polite day.

Answer 2

I think that the point of a wake is to pay your final respects to that person -- the body's usually there -- and to talk to the people whose lives were also connected to the deceased. The familly members can be really broken up at these, so you also play the role of emotional support for the familly.

Answer 3

The point of a wake is a reaffirmation of that person's life and achievements, and you attend so that you can pay respects to the family.

Answer 4

usually its to say good bye to the person who has died.. after the wake is over they close the casket, for the funeral or the cremation to take place the next day... its kinda a viewing ( which is a weird way to put it.) its to help the family and loved one to say good bye.. if i am not that close to the person but want to pay my respects. i go in the kitchen after i say hello and hug every body to make sure everything is ok.. coffee is made napkins and such are filled.. and trash is picked up...

i hope this helps.

Answer 5

you should show up and stay long enough to shake hands with your boss and say sorry for their loss and show that you are there for support and that you care. it's just a polite thing to do.