What is the point of closed records?

Question

Why am I not allowed to get a copy of the termination of parental rights that I signed in 1984? TPR does not contain any other persons name as far as I know. It was signed in a US court of law before a judge, but I am not allowed to get a copy. I know that I can petition the courts, but I'm pretty sure, "putting my life back together" is not good cause for getting the records opened. Also if I do petition, for this document, NY state law says that they will notify the adoptive parents that I am seeking this document. WTF???

Are women who relinquish told that they will be treated as criminals (unable to get copies of legal documents that they signed), and that their children will be treated as second class citizens (not able to get their OBC)? If not, why not?

Any answers that can shed some light on this are welcome.

Answer 1

I find the whole secrecy and shame thing mysifying to be honest.

Treating adults like they are incapable of handling their own lives is so dehumanizing, you are so right

I'd also like to know why people involved in adoption need more 'protection' than the general public, like the witness protection program or something.  The thing is, none of us wanted, asked for, or had any say in the 'protection' forced upon us.

I know a mother who was successful in getting a copy of the TPR she signed from the adoption agency.   I think it took alot of persistence and they also tried to charge money for it too!!! what a nerve!

Good luck, and if you want to get in touch with the mother I know who got her copies, I'd be more than happy to do so.  I know it's always good to talk with people who've been in your shoes.

Answer 2

U...ya...protection...uh huh...right...okay.  

Let's face it.  Adoptees are forever children and burfmommies are forever crack whores who got what they deserved.   h**l, even criminals can see papers they've signed.  But, you know that adoptees and their first families MUST be held in suspicion of being possible threats to one another and to society as a whole.  Why, if we were actually all allowed out of the dark and treated equally under the law, the entire infrastructure of our nation would come tumbling down.

Answer 3

They did the same to me. I was never given a copy and I can't get one. I could give you my best guess for the reason but I don't think others would appreciate my views.

Just remember that with adoption the child gets a "forever family"... more like a forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. You get what I mean. Don't go looking, be grateful, be happy.

Oh sorry I barfed a bit in the back of my throat writing that.

Answer 4

Well, I assume its to protect all parties involved. The adoptive parents have a right to know if you are seeking the document because it could indicate that you are trying to get in touch with the child and they need to be prepared for that emotionally and be able to try to prepare the child. Keep in mind, the child may not even know they are adopted, finding out now could turn their world upside down or they may know and not want to get to know you. I don't think its treating you as a criminal so much as enforcing the terms of agreement that you signed in that contract.  Good luck, I hope everything works out for you!

Um, I don't understand something. I assumed you knew that you were signing a closed adoption agreement at the time you signed. That was your choice, you could have decided to do an open adoption. If that was the case, its not really fair for you to decide you want the details now, 23 years later. I was born in 1984 and if I found out now that I was adopted I would freak and probably need a LOT of therapy. Again, good luck, but I think you should let it go.

Answer 5

They have the records closed as  they are hiding a very big nasty secret..