What is the quickest way to find my son that I gave up for adoption 32 years ago?

Question

It was November 24th 1976. It was snowing and I found out my 16 year old girlfriend was at Fitzimmons Army Medical Center giving birth to our son. I raced there as fast as I could to be there with her. I was 15. We were so young and so full of dreams but we came to the right decision to give him up for adoption. We got to see him, hold him, cradle him and tell him that we would never forget him. We've grown up and led our lives seperately now for over 30 years. I'll be 47 this year. He'll be 32. I really need to find him. My life has always had an emptiness and I know he is the reason. I have not had any children of my own since that day. My name is Jerry McNulty. If anyone can help me find him or guide me in the right direction, I would be eternally grateful. I am not looking to disrupt his life. Only to meet him and perhaps give him some insight to who he is. I've loved him from the first time I saw him. I still have his picture with me.

Answer 1

My best hope for you is to BELIEVE in gods hands................trust him with all your hope. and soon you and your son will be reunited just keep beliving and keep strong..........you were young things happen.

good luck hope you find your son.

Answer 2

Do you have the names of the adoptive parents??

Look through the paperwork - or check with the adoption agency that was used.

It all depends on the state the child was born in - whether or not records are sealed - or open. (not many are open)

This - of course - is assuming you are in the USA.

Here are some places to start the search -

First - add your details to the registries here

http://www.isrr.net/

http://registry.adoption.com/

Check here for information on state records here -

http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?...

Check here for search help - and links to free search angels -

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

All the very best with your search.

I wished for my mother and father to come looking for me - my whole life.

I wish you well.

Answer 3

I found my birthdaughter when she was 29 1/2. She knew she was adopted but wasn't going to ever look, she said we must have had a good reason for giving her up and she had a pretty good life, but since we had found her, she thought she would like to include us in her life, that was 7 years ago. She made it clear on how she wanted the relationship to go, she was not our daughter and her kids were not our grand kids, but we have a nice relationship. I think she wants more from us, but is afraid. I went into looking for her with my eyes wide open, I was prepared for anything, except her question, why did you give me up and not my brother. He was born 6 years later and her father and I were married, older and wiser. We always regretted giving her up, but we did and nothing can change that. Be prepared if you find him, it can go either way.We were lucky, she likes us. We have both been through counseling (she still is) and that has helped some. Unfortunately her husband is a bum and she has very low self esteem and feelings of abandonment.

I wish you good luck on your search. I used a search angel and the cost was 40.00, my search angel no longer searches.

Please don't listen to people who say nasty things, most adoptees and bparents would like to reunite, if only for a look into their heritage and medical history.

Answer 4

Why try and find him now after so long?

He'll just resent you for giving him up in the first place.

Why mess up his life more than you already have?

You've done your damage by having s*x at 15..

Don't s***w his life up more than you already have.

Answer 5

Dear Jerry,

Please ignore the ignorant. They probably have to ties to adoption at all.

Possum and Laurie gave you awesome advice.  

Good luck with your search.  I hope you are both in reunion soon.  All the best:)

Answer 6

You remind me of my own first father.  He spent many years hurting, searching and hoping.  I was 37 when we reunited.  That was 7 years ago and we're both happy with it.  Although I was the one who located him, I was very happy to know that he was searching for me, as well.  Don't listen to naysayers with their rhetoric about "maybe he doesn't want to be found."  They don't know that.  The only way anyone can know is to try.  Many adopted persons would like to meet their first families.  Don't give up.

I'm assuming the adoption took place in Colorado, as you stated the birth was at Fitzsimons Army Medical Center.  If so, then Colorado has what is called a "Confidential Intermediary (CI)" system set up to help relatives separated by adoption to reunite.  Colorado also has a reunion registry.  Here is some information about them:

Using a Confidential Intermediary:

Adopted adults, adoptive parents,  parents who have surrendered, and natural siblings and half-siblings age 18 or older may file a motion in the court to appoint a confidential intermediary to search for biological relatives who are older than 18. After the two parties consent, contact will be made after the court consents.

Contact:

Colorado Confidential Intermediary Services

PO Box 260460

Lakewood, CO 80226

[phone]

http://www.cocis.org - ( to open this link to a separate page “right click” and select “open in a new page”)

********************************

Using the Adoption Registry:

The following parties may use the adoption registry:

adopted adults;

descendants of a deceased adopted adult;

natural siblings;

adoptive parents for the purpose of obtaining medical information that affects an adopted person;

natural parents and their lineal ascendants;

and descendents of deceased genetic parents.

Both parents who’ve surrendered must consent for either to be matched with an adopted adult unless only one parent is named on the original birth certificate or the other parent is deceased or cannot be contacted.

( reunion registration is $15)

( searches through the state cost around $600 )

Contact:

Colorado Voluntary Adoption Registry

Colorado Department of Health

4300 Cherry Creek Drive South

Denver, CO 80222

[phone]

Answer 7

and what if he doesn't want to be found?

If you make sure that the adoption agency that you went through has your current address then that's all you can do really.

He may have a happy life and if he wants to find his biological family then he will but until HE decides you just have to leave him be.

Answer 8

I wish you Loving Good Luck........  on finding him.........

Answer 9

You can look into the hospital records to figure out which adoption agencies were used during those times and begin searching the agencies to find a match.  (You'll probably have better luck finding someone that has worked there that long and remembers as opposed to actual records.)  They should have all the records that will guide you from there.

Answer 10

Don't listen to Blalocka.

A mother should always have the right to see her child, despite not raising her/him.

And you are his mother - correct?

Answer 11

TRY LOOKING ON PLACES LIKE MYSPACE, FACEBOOK,ETC