What is the right age?

Question

i'm 19 years old and all i think about is having a baby. i want one so bad i think about it 24/7 and always talk about it to my boyfriend. i really think that i'm mature to have a child right now. i even always think i am pregnant even tho i know I'm not. is 19 too young or not? i know that i can do it.

Answer 1

telling u from experience..i'd wait...at 19 u'll miss the things u could've been doing b/c ur taking care of the baby...while i dont regret having my lil girl at 21 i do sometimes think about what i might have missed out on

Answer 2

I completely and utterly agree with Aussie here, I'd like to have a baby too, and I'm only 17, but I know better, I want to be financially stable first, and make sure i'm MARRIED, that way i don't collect welfare, while others need it, the ones where the man left the woman. I'd also want to make sure the man is ready, and understands that having a baby isn't all bliss, you have to change diapers, potty train, deal with the cranky baby while they're teething, get up in the middle of the night, and be too tired to go hang out with friends and party, because [no offense to some] some women who do this to their children, tend to neglect them. My parents had me at a VERY young age, and they wanted the party scene while i was stuck at my grandma's, I didn't have a close relationship with my mother, and I wouldn't want that to happen to you. Nobody here is trying to crush your dreams, we just want to warn you that life isn't easy, and handling someone else's isn't either. but good luck in whatever decision you choose.

Answer 3

The key words in your question are "my boyfriend". If you want a baby, go right ahead. Just make sure you marry him before you get pregnant so that there is no doubt who the father is and who is going to support you and the child.

I don't want the government taking my tax dollars away from me to support you and your mistake.

Answer 4

I don't think its the right time.

You may want one now, but after you have one, you'll find all these other things you'll want to do.

Are you financially stable? Are you emotionally stable?

Here is the best advice I can give. Get a job at a daycare. This is the best job if you love kids! I've worked in then for about 2 years. This will really test your responsibility.

Answer 5

thats is a fine age i suggest u should be married to ur boyfriend first cuz if u brake up it might be harder for the baby. The only thing is wen the baby is around 10 y/o u will be 29 and none of ur friends will have to wry about a baby and they will want u to hang out all the time. My opinion of age to have a child is 23

hope i helped good luck

ur gonna make a great mom  

Answer 6

Well....if it were me i wouldn't be having a baby at 19. I would wait until i was like 22 years old, but if you want to spend time with children - childcare or teaching would be a great opportunity. It's like having kids but still giving them away at the end of the day and having fun with your boyfriend.

Seeing as though he is only your boyfriend not a fiance or husband, and you didnt call him your 'partner'. It sounds like you probably have only been with him for like a year so i would wait until your relationship is a bit more serious and then reconsider in a year or two.

Good luck! xoxo

Answer 7

Although it is possible to have a child at your age and to be a great Mother, it is even easier for 19 year old mothers to end up at the bottom of the poverty ladder with poor housing, income, education and health.  Before you have a baby, you need to think VERY seriously about what is involved in raising a child.  If you want to be the best Mother you can be, then get yourself the best employment you can, the best education you can, and make sure you are in the best relationship you can be. If I had married the man I loved when I was 19 I would have ended up in a very different place to now.  You need to make sure the father of any baby you have can help support that child.  Like it or not, once you have a baby you are in a relationship with that person for life, even if you do break up later.  You will always have a relationship with that person as the co-parent of your child.

Do you have any savings?  Do you have a job?  Would your boyfriend be willing to support you and the baby, or could you have someone look after the baby while you worked?  Do you have adequate housing?  Can you afford health insurance. (I have 5 children - they get sick, believe me.)  Your baby might go through 5 sizes of clothing in the first year - got enough?  You won't be going out with your friends because you will be looking after your baby.  You can't just grab your purse and jump in the car/bus/train.  You have to stock the nappy bay (oh - disposable nappies/diapers cost a lot, and cloth nappies are cheaper but take a lot of laundry.)  If your child is sick, you can't work or go out.  You can't automatically assume Grandparents can help. Some will, but some just can't or have been looking forward to the day when their children are old enough to take care of themselves so that they can travel or have a break.

Then there are the things that don't take money but take committment, love and patience: Will your boyfriend share the parenting?   Any parent of a newborn will tell you that you are not going to sleep for a long time.  Will they change nappies, give you a break when you need it, make you your meals and look after you when you are ill? Will they rub your back while you are tossing up if you get morning sickness?  Will they help support you through labour and childbirth?  I don't want to turn you off having a baby altogether, but it isn't a pleasant thing and you need someone to support you through that.  Can you and your boyfriend put yourselves last and put the baby's interests before your own?

Maybe you can, but it is a very big ask.  If you wait for a few years and get yourself established, travel a little, and make sure you are in a relationship that will last the distance,  you won't regret the decision.  If you jump in blindly you may regret it forever.  

Answer 8

I'm coming from experience. I had my first child at 17. Although I love her to bits, there has been SO much I have missed out on. I had my second child at 21. I love them both, and to tell you the truth if I didn't have my 1st I dint think Id be alive today..

But if I didn't fall pregnant at 17 I wouldn't of even dreamed of having a baby. They are a LIFE commitment. Not a toy, or something that can just go away when you want it to.

You will lose sleep, some what your life and you may even lose your friends (in my case I lost them all except 1).

Please stop and think before you step into Motherhood

Answer 9

you keep saying that to him, you gonna run him scared

bad idea dear..

Answer 10

A lot of people want to have a baby. What they don't realize is that there is more to it than cuddling and holding a cute little bundle of joy... You have to be prepared financially, socially and, most importantly, emotionally to have a baby.

Financially, you'll have to shell out loads of money for a crib, clothes, bottles, infant formula, vitamins, and all the other things that are not necessarily needed but you'll want for your baby (i.e. toys, books, etc.) Not to mention very expensive vaccinations and doctor's bills.

Socially, at your age, you might be stigmatized or stereotyped if you get pregnant especially if you're not married. Your friends might accept your situation but then you'll have all these responsibilities that will limit your time for socializing. It's not easy especially during the first few months. Your life will practically be about diapers, feeding, bathing, soothing your baby. And it will even affect your relationship with your boyfriend because you won't have enough time to spend with him.

Emotionally, it will take a toll on you, too. You are already a daughter, a teen, a friend, maybe sister, and a cousin. When you have a child, you'll be all that and you'll also be a mother. You'll have all these roles to play out and it might be confusing. And it doesn't help that you'll be physically drained during the first few months from lack of sleep.

And even before all that, you'll have to contend with all the physical changes that will occur during your pregnancy. So with my word of advice, think carefully. You have all the time in the world, but you'll only be a teen once. So enjoy.

Answer 11

I think if you are 18 have money, a home and everything a baby needs, I don't see anything wrong with having a baby. But it depends. Are you willing to sacrafice the next 18 years for this child? I mean, once you fall pregnant, theres no turning back. Children grow, of course. You need to make sure you are prepared for what comes. Im not saying don't try, Im just making sure your ready. Personally, I want to wait until Im 24, I've finished my studies and I have enough money to keep on my own two feet. It's totally up to you and your partner.

Good luck!!

Answer 12

I don't think age, or even maturity, has anything to do with it.  What's more important is your ability to provide for your child.  And I don't mean just putting a roof over her head and food on her plate.  Anybody can do that.  I'm talking about all the other things you'll want for your child.  And trust me, once you become a mother, having to deprive your child of something hurts a lot more than being deprived of something yourself.  And I'm not just talking about material possessions.  I'm talking about other, more important things...

You'll want her to have a comfortable home in a nice, safe neighborhood.  You'll want her to have a yard to play in, maybe with a swingset or a treehouse, and nice kids to play with.  You'll want her to go to a decent school, which means you'll need to live in a good school district, where housing is more expensive... or else you'll need to pay private school tuition.  You'll want to give her music, ballet or gymnastics lessons, or whatever she's interested in.  If she shows a talent in something, you'll want to do all you can to help her develop it.  You'll want to send her to camp, take her to Disney World, and give her so many other wonderful experiences.  

And yes, the material things, too.  Not that kids need to have everything they want, but face it -- no one wants their child to be the only one without a [whatever the latest craze is].  

Yes, there are lots kids who grow up in poverty, without having any of these things. And somehow they survive and turn out okay.  But I can guarantee that their parents wish every day that they could give their kids more.  It's a horrible feeling to want something for your child and not be able to provide it.  And when you're a mother, you want EVERYTHING for your child!

Just a few things to think about!  =]

Answer 13

Too young.  Hormones are raging, mother instincts kicking in, etc. can seem overwhelming.  Take a deep breath, get your life in order, school, good job, home, stable relationship/husband... then, once you have prepared the best you can is the time to start planning it.  Don't rush into things, especially not this.

Answer 14

Just wait. Don't you want to experience everything life has to offer for a person your age? Like all of the parties you'll miss. A college education. Or just the freedom to go where ever you want to whenever you want to. And what ever happened to getting married before you start a family? You may be a mature 19 year old but, it takes more than the want and maturity to raise a child. 19 is too young. This isn't what you want to hear but, live your life for you right now. You've barely begun your adult life.  

Answer 15

biologically the best age is 18-22, however, other factors like finances, living arangements, emotional capability, relationship stability, family support and your own education have to be taken into consideration

Answer 16

ask yourself a few questions such as can you support a baby financially? does your boyfriend want one? will this get in the way of any studies you maybe undertaking?

if it feels right do it! starting earlier will give you more of a chance of having a happy healthy baby!

:)

some people dream of climbing up the corporate ladder. while others are happy being a stay at home mum. only you can choose your path in life.

good luck.

x

and to the guy who commented above me. just asking, you would know about raising a child beacuse????

you can sill have a social life. one of my mates is pregnant and she is 17, while another girl i know is pregnant at 16, they still see friends

my relatives started at 24. and they still go to parties/

what are parents for right?

Answer 17

TRUUSSTTT MEE!!! 19 is way to young.

Wait till after the partying day (21).

Go to college and do something with you life.

Answer 18

I would wait if I were you but it is ultimately your decision.  It is very life changing.

Answer 19

The right age should be when you have physically grown up. Nowadays mental maturity and emotional stability coupled with financial security and future possibilities for the unborn, fertility and the loss of female identitiy make it hard to know.

Answer 20

i don't think it necessarily depends on the age you could be 25yrs old but be the most childish person ever. just make sure you have done your homework and know exactly whats involved, not just for a baby but for a child as that baby will grow. i was 16yr old when i fell pregnant with my first child, i had him 8 days after i turned 17 and it is one of the best things that has happened to me but it is still hard, he is now 6 yrs old and it is just as hard now as it was when he was born, it is a 24hour a day job. just be prepared and make sure you know about all the down sides as well as the good and just remember you cant just change your mind or give up so make sure it is what you really want. i am now 23 and all my freinds are travelling and going out partying, i would love to go but i am at home with my son, so you really have to take everything into consideration. also everyone saying have a great job and finances, you may have that and fall pregnant but whos to say you wont lose you job next week and become bankrupt before you have the baby life is so unpredictable you cant plan a year down the track. me and my boyfriend had all that security when my son was born and my boyfriend died when our son was 2yrs old and i lost everything but i still manage. no one can tell you if you are making the right decision, it may be the right choice now but come 6 months down the track it may not be. its your choice only you will know when you are ready.

Answer 21

WAIT!!! I had my children young and wish often that I'd waited to do so. My husband and I never had a chance to just be married before we had kids, not it's a hassle finding childcare just so we can have alone time. Get married, travel, get to know and fall in love with each other more. Get a career you wont struggle with finances so that when you do have a baby he and THEN make a family. Go to school and get a stable /she wont ever go without (and, dare I say it, you will even have the means to spoil him/her a little:0) ) 19 is the perfect age to start preparing and positioning yourself for a child, a bit soon to have one though  

Answer 22

Wait until..........

1.you finish college

2.are in career

3.making a decent sum of money

4.Are in a stable marriage               4 and 5 can be switched

5.In your own home

6.Have some experience with children (Don't go into it completely blind)

I love my daughter,but I admit I put the carriage before the horse.

Answer 23

Yes it is too young. Live life to the fullest first, enjoy yourself, get some more education, get a good job first, so you can provide well for your child. There really is plenty of time for babies. You will have the time of your life in your twenties, dont waste it.