What is the role of a daughter-in-law when an in-law passes away?

Question

It might sound silly, but my father in law is sick and is dying, I have never lost any one this close, the last person on my side of the family that died was my step grandfather when I was 18. I am newly married at 23 years old how do I handle this death? What are some things I can do to help my husband and mother in law cope? Do I make the phone calls? I know I will be supportive and kind to them they are my family but is there a way of being too supportive..am I thinking to far into this?? any advise? Thank you. Lauren

Answer 1

your responsibility is to make sure your husband gets to the funeral and helps out with his parents and to ask your mother in law what kind of help she needs.  Don't say "do you need any help"  or "call me if you need any help"  Make specific suggestions.  Do you need me to cook dinner tonight?  Do you need me to help make phone calls?  Do you need me to do laundry?  Do you need the lawn mowed?  You just sit and listen when they want to talk.   If you don't know what to say or do, don't be afraid to admit it.  Remember, so you don't overwhelm them, ASK what they need.

Get the practice in now.  If they live close to you then ask them if you can fix some dinners up for them to keep in the freezer for when they don't feel like cooking.  you just fix up a little extra of whatever you are fixing for you and your husband and box it up.  Or if you are fixing the food at their place for them then make extra to have later.  Ask if they need help around the house doing any cleaning.

Answer 2

Just be there for them.  When the time comes they will need your support and love.  Sometimes just attending to everyday chores like cooking and cleaning, making sure the mail is in everyday etc. can mean a lot.  Ask them if there is anything you can do to make life easier for them right now.  When the time comes, you can offer to make phone calls, handle small details relating to the funeral, greet people at the funeral.  The biggest thing though is support and love.

Answer 3

there is no such thing as too supportive, unless you're doing it for the wrong reasons, which you arent. In-law or ex-law, you're family, and family is always there for eachother. :]

Answer 4

Just let your husband and mother-in-law know that you are prepared to do what you can to help..There are no rules where caring is concerned..........