What is the significance of Jews leaving a stone at the gravesight after visiting a deceased person?

Question

I notice that Jewish cemeteries are filled with gravestones containing rocks on them. Is there a particular type of stone that is better to use than others?

Answer 1

Leaving a stone means that it won't wilt or die. It lets people know someone has been there. You can see the stone there years later as long as no one moves it. It doesn't matter which stone you use, we just usually pick one up off the ground and place it somewhere on the ledge of the headstone.  

Answer 2

Combination of traditions hitting all at once...graves used to be stone mounds in some desert locations...adding stones was a good thing...this continued into modern times...it told later visitors someone had been to the grave...I was once told it represented the prayer intention of the person who placed the stone.

Answer 3

stones are a magical part of the jewish tradition, different stones have different effects, symbolize different aspects and stories, and are used in different ceremonies.

Answer 4

I think it's symbolic of the body coming from the earth and now returning to it.

Answer 5

Traditionally, we don't tend to put flowers at gravesides of those we have lost. So we put a small stone there; it shows someone has visited and as Blue Foots notes, it won't wilt and will in theory remain there 'forever'.

That said, sometimes we do take a tiny flower pot and leave it there; I've done that as have some of my relatives.

There's no significance to the type of stone, no.

In Judaism, there are very strict rules governing what can and can't be put at the gravesides and this also extends to what can and cannot be written on the headstone itself. There is the idea that there must be 'democracy' in death. In other words, it is not allowed in a Jewish cemetary for anyone to organise an ostentatious or 'showy' graveside/headstone for their loved ones; all the graves must be to the same standard so that the deceased are 'equal' in death.

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Answer 6

It's a tradition, not a commandment,to leave a pebble or other small stone on the headstone when you visit a gravesite.  It's mostly a sign that you were there, and of respect.

As far as the origins, it is believed that in Torah days the monuments that were erected over graves were actually piles of stones.  So by leaving a stone we are continuing this tradition.  Another theory is that people used to leave notes for the deceased at their graves, just like they do now at the Western Wall in Jerusalem, weighted down with stones.  The notes would blow away or deteriorate, leaving the pile of rocks behind, and over time simply leaving the rocks became the tradition itself.

There's no particular stone that is better than any other - some people bring with them, and others take what they find lying on the ground at the cemetery.  The only wrong choice would be to take one from another gravestone to put on that of your own loved one.  But that's just a matter of good manners.

Answer 7

Well, it wouldn't make much sense to leave a stone at the grave of a living person, now would it?

Answer 8

the custom has ancient and practical origins.. Jews were originally a desert people. As such, we used to bury our dead in the sand without a casket and covered the grave with stones, not only to mark the spot, but also to prevent animals from digging up and devouring the body.

Upon visiting a grave, it was considered a "mitzvah" - or good deed -- to add stones to replace those moved by the wind or animals. This helped to preserve the integrity of the grave and also the deceased.

The practice of leaving stones at the grave derives from that tradition. The idea of giving to charity instead of a florist is probably a later development

the custom has ancient and practical origins: We Jews were originally a desert people. As such, we used to bury our dead in the sand without a casket and covered the grave with stones, not only to mark the spot, but also to prevent animals from digging up and devouring the body.

Upon visiting a grave, it was considered a "mitzvah" - or good deed -- to add stones to replace those moved by the wind or animals. This helped to preserve the integrity of the grave and also the deceased.

The practice of leaving stones at the grave derives from that tradition. The idea of giving to charity instead of a florist is probably a later development

the custom has ancient and practical origins: We Jews were originally a desert people. As such, we used to bury our dead in the sand without a casket and covered the grave with stones, not only to mark the spot, but also to prevent animals from digging up and devouring the body.

Upon visiting a grave, it was considered a "mitzvah" - or good deed -- to add stones to replace those moved by the wind or animals. This helped to preserve the integrity of the grave and also the deceased.

The practice of leaving stones at the grave derives from that tradition. The idea of giving to charity instead of a florist is probably a later development

the custom has ancient and practical origins: We Jews were originally a desert people. As such, we used to bury our dead in the sand without a casket and covered the grave with stones, not only to mark the spot, but also to prevent animals from digging up and devouring the body.

Upon visiting a grave, it was considered a "mitzvah" - or good deed -- to add stones to replace those moved by the wind or animals. This helped to preserve the integrity of the grave and also the deceased.

The practice of leaving stones at the grave derives from that tradition. The idea of giving to charity instead of a florist is probably a later development

RABBI JACQUES CUKIERKORN