What is the usual practice in the Philippines - long or short engagements?

Question

Is the length of the courtship/engagement period a good indication of the stability of a marriage?

Inspired by AP's question on the 7-year itch.

Answer 1

Well, long term engagement is the right one.  Because in my case, with a short engagement, I find it very difficult for me to get all the required documents in such a short engagement.  As a result, my fiance felt sad and at the same time got mad at me and now, I think, he left me already.

Therefore, work on your wedding documents even though you have long engagement.

Good luck and GOD BLESS :)

Answer 2

the philippines is traditionally a conservative country ... although nowadays, it is fast catching on becoming a liberal one ...

you have two questions ...

first, the normal period of courting is 3-6 months ... then there will be a year or two of being just a girlfriend/boyfriend ... getting to know each other well ... and then, they may decide to be engaged in marriage within 3-6 months thereafter ...

on the second question, i should say that the longer you have known each other plus the culture you grew up with will be a good indication of the stability of marriage ...

per my personal experience, and this is a true story, i met my wife when she was still 10 years old ... became my girlfriend when she was 11 ... married when she was 22 ... stayed married for 34 years, before she died of cancer ...

she knew me very well and knew how to handle my ups and downs ...

of course, we were both deeply in love with each other ... our marriage was not only very stable, but also very successful ... we had 3 children, now all working professionally ... and earning truly well ...

what more could i say ...

Answer 3

The period of engagement really has NOTHING to do with the success of marriage itself but YES it's a good indication of the stability of marriage. Engagement is simpy the time when you get more intimate (not sexual) with your partner. It's a transition period wherein you can freely talk with your fiancee about everything without any reservations. You talk about things you haven't discussed when you're still courting... and during this time, you get to know each other more deeply. This is a good adjustment period for the both of you

As for the length of engagement, that merely depends on you both. If you are ready, then go for it. Sadly most Filipinos took engagement as the time to prepare for marriage. I mean, engagement is more than that. You prepare for marriage yes, but what you really should be preparing is life after marriage and not marriage itself.

Answer 4

Since Philippine society is largely traditional/ conservative, I think the general average favors short engagements.

From the time the sweethearts make known their intention to marry to the elders, I don't think the families involved would dilly dally and not go for an agreed date which is usually one or two months after the "Pamanhikan". (When the male's family comes to the girl's house for a get together, and wedding plans.)

I don't think the length of engagement is a good indication of the stability of marriage.

As a student of Sun-Tzu and the Blitzkrieg campaigns, I always say digging in trenches is passe,  so take 'em by storm!!!

Answer 5

I am more into long term courtship and engagement. For that case, you can get to know your future partner more rather than just diving into the relationship.

Although some short term courtship and engagement work. Though, my personal view is that you would need to invest something before you prosper...for this case, its TIME.

Answer 6

The usual practice is short for the ordinary Filipinos.  But for the socialites and well-known movie personalities, engagements take a long time because of the long preparation they have to take before the actual date of the wedding.  Engagements do not necessarily mean getting to know each other well for them but rather on the tasks of getting everything ready for the final date at the altar.  This is most probably why some marriages in that circle flop.

For me, long or short does not matter.  You only get to know the real character of the person once you're married.  Some men/women do not show their true colors, they hide who or what they are from their prospective groom/bride and only shows it when the ring is neatly around the fingers.  By then, it is too late to back out.