I was just about to succumb to the delights of a Turkish Delight by my roaring Fireplace on a fluffy white rug, and in came a screeching Dervish wassailing and clenching it's Buttocks.
I, naturally jabbered "Zounds!" and chased the said Assailant out to my Garden, only to see my cat sneer ". . Ere, 'wot you looooking at? You want stripin' do yer?"
Terrible business, I blame the Locals.
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