What is this fear I have and why does it happen?

Question

When I am in large crowds or big social gatherings I feel not nervous like social anxiety, but instead frustrated. I am not able to have fun at events like my friends and family but instead I have to seek out a quiet place such as a bathroom or empty room where I start to cry and feel angry because I can't figure out why I am not able to have fun. Would any of you happen to have the same problems and know how I can fix myself or trick myself into enjoying the gathering? If it helps I get frustrated because, although there are people around me, I feel lonely--like even if I tried to talk to someone, no one would hear me.

Answer 1

even if our circumstances are different, i feel that i know exactly how you feel. i'm quite young and i feel the pressures of socializing/partying when all i want to do is be with a small group of friends who truly understand me or be by myself. i finally understand myself in that i am an introvert--not a loner, but an introvert in the sense that large social gatherings drain me instead of fulfill me.

i wish i knew if you have always felt this way, because if it's a fairly recent development, it's possible that you are going through a little depression. i have had the same situations happen to me, though--i'm in a large group and i still feel like i'm not part of it...i try to enjoy myself but i feel so exhausted trying to enjoy many people's company. sometimes i have broken down because it's hard to not be fulfilled from being with large groups of people, which is something so many people my age live for.

don't despair, though...i would suggest stop trying so hard to "fix" yourself as you put it. that hasn't worked for me, because i ended up trying too hard and focusing too much on changing an innate part of myself. maybe you can just see if it'll come naturally...surround yourself with only the few you truly trust and love and build it up from there. i'm less introverted than i was a year ago by doing this. however, if the emptiness starts to overwhelm you, or you feel this won't work for you, maybe you could talk to your doctor and see if you have any signs of slight depression. especially if your feelings/fear are concerning you this much, it could be more than your true personality coming out. there's absolutely nothing wrong with being introverted, and there's also nothing wrong with feeling depressed--it can happen to the happiest of us, and there's nothing wrong with seeking help if you end up feeling you need to.

and remember, it takes all type of people to make the world go round...some are so involved with people that they feel they must be the center of the attention and constantly around others, and some feel they are only themselves BY themselves. have a good day, and i hope things work out for you!!

Answer 2

I can relate to that. Maybe because you see outgoing people around you and you wish you could be like that. Some people also prefer to be around small groups of people rather than big.  

Answer 3

Even though you dont feel nervous I belive its still social anxiety/Social Phobia

Answer 4

you probably sense negativity in people. negativity is addictive