What is up with people getting attitude about this?

Question

I have a stepdaughter--her dad and I have been married since she was 10, and together since she was 7--she's now turning 21. I was involved in her upbringing/raising--PTO, girl scouts, conferences, school fundraisers, field trip chaparone etc. Her mother is still in the picture and we have a decent relationship (decent enough that we can have dinner together and call each other Jo and Jen as opposed to Joanne and Jennifer). So why is it that when folks (strangers in line, co-workers, etc) ask about my children and their ages--and I respond--3 children, 20, 7, and 3, that people get all offensive because she's 'not really' my child and 'technically' I have two and a stepchild. They realize immediately that I'm not her birth mother because we're only 11 years apart in age. I'm not going to not metion her as she IS one of the kids. Are they too dumb to realize this is actually hurtful? Not all stepkids/stepparents have bad relationships!

Answer 1

People seem to have this thing where if you aren't "blood" related, or didn't conceive the person, then it doesn't count.  The last time I checked, family doesn't mean blood.  In fact, in some cases, people who aren't your blood relatives treat you better than the ones who are.  Ignore the ignorant.  You know you raised her, and you claim her as yours; that's all that counts.

Answer 2

I dont know why people wouldnt pick right up on the age thing, but I dont see why it even matters to them. Youre happy, your family is happy, thats all that should matter.

Answer 3

You have to realize we're living in an age where the longevity

of a relationship is about 3 min. tops give or take a second or 2,

let alone actually having a functional family unit that gets along . . .

don't let it get to you, you have someting in your life besides

stability, it's called normality, but don't tell any one, we wouldn't

want them to be offended . . .

Answer 4

maybe becuase THEY themselves didnt have a great life with their step folks and are probably feeling envious of you

Answer 5

I think it's really nice you are so close, and that you treat her as your own. I have no idea why people are saying that. I wouldn't worry about it though. They are obviously not the sort of people who would like to take on someone elses child in the way you have.

Answer 6

People don't realize they are being hurtful. You should mention her as one of your kids since you had a hand in raising her. You can't leave her out. I don't know what's up with people.