What is with the pot stirring - I thought we had moved past this?

Question

I see another question has been asked, aimed at the "anti adoption people" bla bla bla, attacking and accusing us of more bad behavior and dirty deeds.

I thought we had moved past this everyone...the "anti-adoptionists" have certainly been holding up our end of the bargain for the last few days, for the most part, but this is pretty blatant.

Pretty darn blatant.

What gives? Why are we under attack THIS time?

Answer 1

I'm not sure what anti-abortunist is, but it's human nature to assume the bad 1st. maybe more clarification would help.

Answer 2

It's so easy for people to be rude and inhumane on the Internet! It's a terrible shame. There will always be two sides to every story. It would be nice if people kept that in mind when posting. We shouldn't be here to change people's minds and to belittle their opinions and experiences.

Answer 3

i thought so too. i guess not. i think people will always find a reason to attack others because they just have a different opinion than theirs.

Answer 4

Hmm well in fact the pot stirring was never one sided, and I guess some feel the need to stir the "p**p" so to speak.  It angers me because they are rude about it, but also they open up the dialogue for those shots at PAP again.  So, again, I agree with you it was an annoying question.

Answer 5

I know, arrrggghh, can we please just stop? Because this is getting really old! There are such interesting questions and ideas and opinions here, and it is such a pain to have to wade though all the name calling.

Cagney, I had never thought about logging out to read the responses to questions I'm blocked from. Duh! <slaps forehead>

Answer 6

i have seen these kind of questions popping back up all week.  there was maybe half a day it didn't happen.  and it's been from all sides of the adoption spectrum, not just one side of an argument.  

seems like the big thing lately is some are hurt because they've been blocked by others.  i don't understand why it's that upsetting.  obviously that person doesn't want to hear your opinion, so why would you want to spend the time to type it out?  if you want to read the responses, just don't log in and go read them.  there's no reason to respond if the asker doesn't want to hear it anyway.

i've come to the mind set if you think the question is baiting or attacking your stance, and you don't think the asker cares about your opinion or answer, just stop answering it.   i know it's hard and i can't resist sometimes myself.  but i think if all around people ignored these types of questions maybe the asker would stop asking them?  there were a few last night that could have been taken as offensive and were manipulative types of questions.  

obviously we can't play nice on here.  and i'm not speaking to anyone in particular, it's getting old and tiresome .  for some this has become a type of entertainment i think.   i'd rather rent a movie, or take my little one to the park, but that's just me.

ETA:  you're welcome.  just my 2 cents on it.  and i do try to understand where you're coming from.  i see those types of questions and just shudder.  and i understand being upset at not being able to give a response, especially when the question seems to attack the most vulnerable part of you.  i am by no means innocent in answering a question that seems posted just to upset those in my position.  we're all  human.  but yes i think some need to find other areas of entertainment.

Answer 7

I am getting tired of being described as both anti adoption and/or having a "bad" adoption experience.  

I am extreme on adoption reform.  At the same time though, I do work with an adoption agency out of San Antonio.  Why?  Because they only do open domestic adoptions.  I have supported the few questions about them on this site. Ahhh Shock and awe just from little old me. I support them because I think they do it right and they do it in the best interest of the adoptee.

Answer 8

Lillie,

I'm going to answer this from a personal side - rather than a generalization, if that makes sense.

It was recently brought to my own attention that a few of my questions and answers may have been considered inappropriate or "pot stirring".  I did not intentionally do that for personal gain or to upset people.  I know there are people out there - on all sides - who come here only to rile people.  That is *not* my intention.  I come here to learn.  Often times I ask questions that I know will illicit different responses from different people because I *want* to learn what every side has to say.  It is the only way that I can hope to become a better parent for my child.  The most recent question that I asked was based on someone who had blocked me - but I did not post it as retaliation for the block.  I posted it simply because the part of the question that I could see got me thinking about other things.  Some people perceived it as an attack against the blocker.  It wasn't but I can't change how people feel.  

I will admit however that in a few of my answers (especially recently), I've had the snarkiness creep in.  When this happens, it's me being human and defending myself, my family and my son (not in that order).   I do think that there are "some" people here - again on all sides of adoption - who are here just to cause trouble.  Some days I wonder if it isn't the same person who poses as an adoptee, A-Mom & First Mom.  I'm even starting to lose track of who is who anymore with all the new accounts and new names of people.  

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't intentionally attack any side of adoption.  However, there are certain people who I believe are here for the wrong reasons, and unfortunately, I've fallen into the trap of answering and posting questions based on those few.  Sorry if I offended you or any of my other contacts.

Answer 9

The one thing that bothers me the most being dismissed as

1. being anti-adoption

or

2. being dismissed as having a "bad adoption experience"

when I say I want changes in adoption and that I'd like to see more support for women who DO want to keep their babies but feel they are too lacking in resources to do so.

Neither statement is true, but there's one particular person (not sure if it's a guy or gal because the avatar is blank) who is apparently a social worker and CONSTANTLY plays the unfounded "bad experience" card to dismiss adoptees who make such statements.

I have no idea why, but it's useless and gets us nowhere.  

Another complains of being attacked and blocked, while attacking and blocking.  It's very tiresome and ridiculous.

Despite all of our differences, we really COULD have some decent discussions here, even if they were heated.

Answer 10

I have noticed a great many people honoring the "not attacking" agreement. It makes me so happy to see how much we are growing.  Of course, not everyone is following the agreement but i have also decided from now on not to answer their questions.  I agree with Cagney whole heartily.

Answer 11

No one is holding up their end of the bargain until they allow everyone to speak without being dismissed.

Answer 12

Ironic that they complain that they are blocked, but they have everyone else blocked.

Oh, and about 'hurting' other adoptees feelings?  And the example the Social Worker gave of the adoptee with the 'hurt' feelings?   Her answer was completely sarcastic.

Let them have their pity party.

Answer 13

everyone should just stop posting opinion questions and only look for real answers, not trouble.