What is wrong with me, or my wife?

Question

I'm trying to understand what is going on with me and mi wife, I always have to initiate s*x, she has a busy life with our kids and I have a stressful job but I'm always willing for intimacy (I try not to transmit any of that stress to her) She doesn't seem tired and actually looks great since she started working out really hard about 5 months ago. I've never ask her to exercise, I have always liked her anyway she looks and I don't think she is having an affair since she is with the kids all day, she is 34 I'm 38 and I consider myself good looking , I drink but don't get drunk, I don' f**t, I don' F_ck around, I shower everyday and sometimes twice, my mouth doesn't smell and I'm very loving with my kids, perhaps not very succesful lately and I suspect that can be one of the problems. I aslo help around and try to do as much as I can including taking care of all the bills, some of the shopping and aall of the kids doctors & school appointments. I have pointed out things that are wrong to her, BUT, I mean, who is not going to point out a mistake to a wife/husband when is something like: "don't yell at the kids" or "don't leave the stove on" or the freakin phone bill was $200.00 dlls over? Please help and thank you. I need my s*x life back!!!

Answer 1

I dunno.  Maybe you need some time together without the kids. A lot of exercise can decrease s*x drive.  Do you guys have a reliable sitter?  Can you date each other once a week, even if its staying home alone together?

Answer 2

You need to go to a marriage counselor.  

Answer 3

Get a babysitter, let her know you two are going out for the night and go to dinner or a movie and make sure you put a side time to TALK you need to ask her what she is feeling and what is bothering her. Maybe she needs to relax more get away from the children to have no worries for a little bit. Talk to her!

Answer 4

As a woman with this problem.Try to tell her one n ight you just want to hold her no s*x involved.then the next night try giving her a back rub telling her ahead of time no s*x involved.After a couple of nights of loving touch with no forcing of the s*x issue things may fall into place.good luck

Answer 5

Hate to tell you this but she is around the age wher s*x isn't tht important anymore...it is to us guys until our 70's but they lose interest between 35 and 45. If you love her, and still wnat to be marreid, find someone on the sid etht will satisfy you, esepcailly after you have talked to her about it!

Answer 6

I'm not making excuses for your wife but she may just be overwhelmed by trying to do it all (aka super mom). It's great that you're an involved husband and dad. Remember that males and females think differently and of course that leads to the other reacting differently too.

What you could do is benefit from some alone time. Just have a friend/family member take the kids for a night or a weekend and spend some quality 1 on 1 time with her (literally or figuratively your choice)

Answer 7

I think the most important thing you could do is stop telling her all the things she does wrong, and sit down and have a conversation about how your feeling. Communication is the key to success! If your feeling stressed, I am sure she is too.

Answer 8

Friend you answered your own question, what does she point out to you that you do wrong,anything? I suggest you sit down and have a long look at yourself in the mirror.I am male, don't know you and have nothing to gain or lose by the previous comment but bear in mind no one , including yourself wants to be criticized rightfully or wrongfully.There are easier ways to solve bill problems. Good luck

Answer 9

sounds to me like you 2 need some alone time, get a babysitter for a weekend and take her away form it all, she sounds like she is a little overwhelmed with it all. Just remind her of the good times you have had and bring them back, rub her feet, shoulders, etc,and make her a warm bath to soak in, get her out of the house with just the 2 of you, and talk about nothing but how you both feel about each other,and ask her about how she is feeling about things, but do not judge or jump to conclusions. She needs to know you still love her other than just having s*x, it needs to be deeper than just s*x, make it romantic, passionate s*x, see what happens.

Answer 10

Here's the unfortunate truth:  as women age, and after they've finished having babies, they often lose alot of interest in s*x.  Here's the good news: there's alot of books and counselors out there who can help.  Believe me, you're far from alone.

Answer 11

Are you still the person she fell in love with whenever you and your wife fell in love? If your not that could be the problem. Or it could be that shes too tired to have s*x. It could be that you guys go to sleep SO late that she needs to sleep so she can survive the next day. Well i not sure if this will help but i tried my best.

Answer 12

wow. well it seems like your doing you share and more. try to have some alone time and some changes around the house. and dont let her take advantage of you if its because you success in money has slowed down then maybe its for the best for her to start showing her true colors. but give it a good try.

Answer 13

Here's another possible solution...is your wife on birth control? If she is, it can sometimes decrease s*x drive. I think it may be because of receiving too much estrogen.  

Answer 14

She could just be stressed or maybe she needs u to initiate it to get her in the mood if things arent goin well financially maybe she has  a loton her mind.. when your pointing out things that are wrong do it in a nice way istead of saying dont yell at the kids ask why she is.. or just say hey the phone bill was a little big this month can we work on that please.. anyway i would talk to her about how shes feeling and tell her how your feeling .. good luck :)

Answer 15

How often do you point things out to her that are wrong?  If you're constantly doing it, you're probably pushing her away.  Maybe you should quit stressing the daily grind so much and do a date night.  You know, take your wife out to dinner and movie with no kids.  If you can arrange for the kids to be gone overnight so the two of you can have some alone time.  Good luck!

Answer 16

I noticed in your check off list of what you have done to earn your wifes sexual desire for you that you did not put "show interest in her life"

No wife is going to be turned on by a man who has a check list in his head he feels if completed is enough to make the only right thing to do on her part is act like she wants to have s*x with him.

Look honey I did the dishes!

She thinks oh god I suppose he wants a golden o****m bippie now.

Try being a real friend to her, not someone who only does things to get s*x points.

Not trying to be harsh just give real advice.

Answer 17

just    tell