What is wrong with me? Afraid of 11 day old baby. She HATES me.?

Question

We were just recently blessed with our "oh my God" unbelievably sweet and beautiful little angel 11 days ago. Adriana Sofia. He is SO SO good with her and I am SO SO afraid of her. I LOVE her with all of my heart and soul, but I am afraid I am going to hurt her (not on purpose) like when I change her (she is so tiny). I don't want to hurt her like when I am dressing her. He is going back to work on Monday and I am going to be left alone with her. He wants to get his sister come over and help, but I know I am her mom and have to take care of her. I will NOT hurt her physically, so please don't think that. I am just afraid I am going to drop her, or hurt her when I am burping her or dressing her. God, I want to hold her so badly. I held her after she was born. I do try to touch and kiss her when he is holding her, but I don't think she likes me, because she fusses anytime I am around her. What kind of mom am I?

Answer 1

Babies can sense a lot of things and if you are tensing up every time you hold her than she might be getting upset because you are upset. She is your baby and I really think you just need to bond with her. They are small and fragile but if you are this worried then I am sure you will be extra careful when you have her. I would try to stop freaking out and just try to relax and bond with your little girl. Maybe try just laying next to her for a little bit or have your husband hold her hand while you hold her and sing to her.  

Answer 2

They aren't as fragile as they look.  You absolutely need to hold your baby, that's how the two of you will bond and that's how you are going to become more comfortable with her.

Don't waste these precious few weeks being afraid... you'll be planning her 1st birthday before you know it.  Just take a big breath of courage and love that little baby.  She doesn't hate you... she just can sense your nervous.  Try to have positive energy around her and she'll pick up on it.

Answer 3

I was a bit scared at first too. Its ok you will get confidence in time. Just jump in there and do it. You have to face your fear and you will get over it. I think being alone with her may build your confidence up. But have your partners sister on call incase your not coping. If you are really not coping and this carrys on then go to the doctor you may have post natal anxiety and may need help. But since its only been 11 days your probably fine its just new mum jitters.  

Your baby likes you hun but there is one thing I have noticed about babies and that is that they are alot more intuned to people as we imagine. Baby will be fussing with you because she can sense your anxiety and you will be making her nervous. Just try and be convident with her. Fake it if you have to!  You do have to be careful with them but they are not as fragile as they look, you will not hurt her when you are dressing her. Babies cry, it dosnt always mean they are hurt

Congradulations on your baby and Adriana Sofia is a beutiful name!

Answer 4

Sorrri Huni but you have post natal depression i think my mums a nurse and these are all the signs shes loves she doesn't hate you, you'll be a great mum when your over this!

Livvy x

Answer 5

You baby is used to daddy because daddy spends time with her.  If you spend time with her she will bond with you.

Just start doing the things you are afraid of, it will be ok.

If you had a midwife call her and ask her to drop in for a bit, she will be easier to get help from because she's not related.

Answer 6

Hello babe- everyone knows that pregnancy is such a hard time and suddenly you have this "thing" a new life that depends on YOU and it is scary and sometimes you feel that you cannot cope baby blues and lack of sleep as well as all them hormones floating around really dont help!

When your health visitor/midwife/doctor whom ever comes to call explain your feelings! this is very common so dont worry!

On the meen time take things slowly of course she loves you your her mum! just laying on your bed with her try kangaroo care ( skin to skin contact usually on your chest)

My baby has just come out of special care hes 6weeks old i was so scared i wasnt going to bond with him i didnt see him until 24hours after my c-section but i did, its just confidence i wish you all the luck in the world babe x*x

Answer 7

oh trust me, they aren't that fragile. the reason she fusses more with you is because she senses your fears and that you're not comfortable with her. this will definitely better. what you can do is to sort of make a nest on a big sofa or your bed, hold her sitting down at first until you're used to it. you can also try wearing her (using a sling), that way she's close to you and you're not directly holding her.

having some one come over won't hurt, have your SIL come over and sort of just be there while you go about your day with your daughter, until you feel comfortable and confident with your mothering skills ;)

i'm sure you're a great mother and that she loves you so very much... just try to get over your fear by holding her in presence of someone else.

good luck