What is wrong with mothers who don't love their children?

Question

Dr. Phil has a program today about this problem. Some men are often perceived as being very insensitive and dismissive toward their parental responsibilities, but don't we expect more of mothers?

Answer 1

I couldnt even think of my mother not loving me... it would break my heart. Because i have heard that if you dont love your children, you dont treat them the same.. you barely ever hug or kiss them. And that the support they give the child is not as much if they should. Im going to have to watch that Dr. Phil

exactly why have more children if you already have one you dont love. I mean i would rather be adopted by a loving person. Cause if you dont have love giving or recieving you miss out on a lot.

Answer 2

I often asked this Q myself.... my SIL is a PRIME example... she has 6 children, the 6th is almost 9 and we had raised him off an on for 5 years because she is addicted to drugs and just is not a mother, yet couldn't use BIRTH CONTROL.  I don't understand it.  I was 19 when i had my son, and I knew that i needed to settle down and raise him if I wanted him to be a good man, I had been with my b/f for 3 years when we got pregant and it just wasn't a question to me it was what i had to do.

and the love I have for him... gosh i could NEVER leave him!! I don't get it either, i don't understand why people think it's okay to spread their legs, get pregnant, then pawn the baby off on someone else all the time, I know MANY of these types and is just flat out pisses me off.

Answer 3

Mothers aren't born....they are made.  That's what my mother said, however she never cared for any of us.  It truly isn't fair to expect a woman to care for a child when she just isn't capable.  Mothers just like some fathers are not cut out to do the work they are granted.  We can't expect more from a woman than we do a man.  It isn't feasible.   However by nature women tend to be more nurturing and caring while men tend to be hunter providers.  But I have seen many couples who have reversed roles and even some couples who both provide while they hire someone to nurture and care.

Momma_Bear

Answer 4

I saw that show, too. SO sad. Especially the woman who adopted her daughter and wants to send her back- they way she talked about her was so cold and uncaring, she sounded like she was talking about her neighbor's dog. It just made me sick. I can absolutely understand being overwhelmed and frustrated- I'm the single mom of a child on the autism spectrum. It's one thing to feel like you just can't do it anymore- everyone has those days and people need the right support systems. But I will never be able to understand people who can create life (or adopt it!) and then just stop caring when things aren't fun anymore. Some people just shouldn't have children, period.

Answer 5

I think we do expect more of mothers...but that isn't necessarily fair, is it?  A parent, regardless of gender, should care for their child.

But I do know that the lack of maternal instinct doesn't say anything negative about a person.  It isn't a choice.  It's a distinct lacking of a certain gene.  I really believe that because I've see studies where animals will randomly not have a maternal instinct to care for their child.  The difference of course is that we have cognitive abilities beyond that of an animal...which is why we have to make the CHOICE to do what is right for the child even if that so called natural instinct may be missing.

Answer 6

Maybe that's part of the problem.  Why should we expect more from mothers?  It's OK (or at least more acceptable) if a father doesn't care about his kids, but it's unspeakable if a mother feels the same way?  No, I'm not buying that.  Both parents should love and care for their children.  Perhaps if both parents took responsibility for their children, the stress and burden of it all wouldn't lead the mother to resent the kids.  

*ETA* Once again, why isn't that same responsibility placed upon the father if he doesn't want kids?  Why is it up to the woman to take care of it all?  It is unfair to expect that, and is nothing but a double standard.