What is wrong with my son? Please help?

Question

My son is 17 years old. He used to be such a nice boy until he turned 13 years old. He never wants a hug and pushes me away if I get too close. He stays in his room almost the whole day. If he ever comes out it is to go to school or to the kitchen. He doesn't sit with the rest of the family. When he turned 14 or around 15 years old he started to wear a lot of black. He doesn't talk to me about school anymore and I wonder about what kind of people he hangs out with. He doesn't like to go on family vacations anymore either. He is also very pale now and looks sick like he barely eats anything. When I meet his teachers, they say he sit in the back of the class and barely talks, sometimes they feel like he isn't even there. He gets really good marks at school though. He is really intelligent but he acts like a stranger with his own family. I always got him what he wanted and I loved him a lot. But now what can I do to make stop acting like that?

Answer 1

It is normal for a teenager to push away from their family though so dont think its because he doesnt love you or anything, its only because he is exploring and learning how to live his life whithout any support from his family.

He could be depressed, as you say he is quiet and wearing a lot of black. Get him to eat supper with you and your family at least 2 or 3 times a week, and tell him that you want to see who his friends are, if they wear black too then he could be just going for a new fashion trend or something lol..try and mend your relationship with him :)

Answer 2

Me too.....

I stay in my room a LOT, because it's quiet and unfeeling and dark and cold there. I don't like to go on family vacations either. I hate the head and the sun and brightness. I wear a lot of black. I play guitar and write, I don't like to talk, and though I have a lot of friends I rarely feel like chatting with them. This goes in cycles, of course, and sometimes I'm more social than other times. I'm really pale except when in direct sunlight (I don't get sunburn or anything but I get really flushed). I don't like physical contact.

I'm a 13 year old girl.

I'm also an empath (I can sense awarenesses and "feel" what others are feeling, to an extent) so being alone suits me well because I don't have to be feeling what everyone else is feeling (I HATE SOCIAL GATHERINGS OF EMOTIONALLY DIVERSE PEOPLE!!!! I can barely stand to go to parties with friends, let alone my insanely crazy family and extended family!). Today I'm feeling pretty social and excited, because I'm going to hang out with friends from my old neighborhood half the night. I'm also pretty psyched to go back to school, because the emotions are predictible there.

I won't say it's a phase, I went to counseling and it didn't help me one bit, but get him evaluated for depression or anger.

Answer 3

clinical depression.

Answer 4

thanks for sharing

Answer 5

Its sort of normal yet at the same time not.

You should take him somewhere sometime. If he doesn't want to talk about himself then u do most of the talking. Whats important is that u establish a better and comfortable relationship with ur son.

I myself like to be alone as an adole, but my parents still make me talk and spend time with them.

Answer 6

depression...it's sortof normal for some guy's to not want to be hugging there moms, he probably just doesn't want to be seen hugging his mom..don't worry, it'll change eventually. don't push too hard to figure it out, he'll come to you eventually!! sorry for your troubles!

Answer 7

He's depressed.

Have you ever seen those commercials that say "Depression hurts - you and everyone around you." ?

That's probably what's going on. I wish I could relate one of my past experiences with you, but I can't, because I've never known someone that seemed so down. Maybe something happened to him that was so bad he just couldn't stand it. Maybe he really liked a girl at school, and when he asked her out she didn't give a very positive response. And if he did like a girl, and I mean really really liked her, then maybe she was all he could focus on, and when she turned him down, he felt like nothing else was worth living for.

Try stepping inside his shoes. Don't give him depression medications because those could just make it worse.

I feel for you - I hope things work out, I really do.

Answer 8

he may be depressed

Answer 9

Sounds like he may have some anger issue, or something deep down is bothering him, maybe something happen to him that he's never been able to let go and it has stuck with him.  My best advice would be to have a group family therapy session.  And be open and honest and straight forward with him.  Continue reaching out to him, be nice, try to understand even the smallest of things.  Good luck to you and your son.