What is wrong with some parents today?

Question

Would you ever dream of telling your child that they did not have to do what their teacher or principal told them to do? I have a student that is constantly talking in class. As such, he misses directions, explanations, instruction, and generally has no idea what is going on in class. Neither do the kids who sit near him. As a consequence, he had to write "The Talking Lesson" which basically outlines why talking causes problems for everyone, when it is ok to talk and when he is not allowed to talk. It has worked really well as a deterrent for most of the kids I have taught in the last 12 years. His mother, decided it was not fair and told him not to do it. She didn't contact me, didn't show up for our conference...she just told him not to do it. Then she doesn't understand why the kid routinely refuses to do things that all the adults in the school instruct him to do, including classwork. How can she not realize the precedent that she is setting with this kid?

Answer 1

if she had a problem she should have come to you. But the fact she did what she did gives you an insite to this childs life and why he is the way he is. Sadly not all parents do a good job and it is the kids who suffer

edit. Just reading everyones answers...what is with all the thumbs down...the thumbs down fairy must be visiting again. Many people are right on the money with what they are saying.

Answer 2

I know what you mean, it seems today more than ever parents not only don't participate in their children's lives but also question what teachers "think is right." Teachers are sorely underestimated, parents don't realize the training we go through and seem to think it's just one of those "sail through" courses in school....but I have met some clueless teachers in my time...the system is just so desperate it's like they'll hire anyone, I sometimes wonder how they even made it through school themselves! Everyone has posted great comments but I'd like to shine a different outlook. It's easy to assume the worst, but perhaps this is just a single, working mother at her wit's end and just to quiet her complaining son simply just told him not to do it. Or perhaps he made the story up taking advantage of the fact his mom is so busy? If there is a way to contact the mother without going through the son, I'd suggest that, sometimes you get kids who just know how to play both parties against one another.

Answer 3

Some parents, are like that...Can't really question them, it's their kid. It's sad really...

Answer 4

I guess the boy is going to have to stay in at recesses to complete this.

Yes, boy's mom sounds like a idiot.  Some parents have no respect for teachers, it's really sad.  I always try to treat my sons' teachers like they are the experts and show them the utmost respect.

I used to be a nanny, and the dad of the kindergarten boy told me in front of his son that his son's teacher was a "wacko" and the boy started laughing, I was so disgusted!  And 1 time the mom got all upset because the teacher told the boy that his work was not acceptable, and the boy even told me that he was fooling around and not doing his best.

Answer 5

My mom is a teacher, and she has said that this past year has been some of the worst students she has taught, and she has been a teacher for like 27 yrs.  She has the problems of parents just don't care. She teaches in a low-income school, and some of these parents just don't care.

Answer 6

There was a time or two i told my son not to do what his teacher said until I talked to her, BUT I explained why and immediately followed up with a conference and once I spoke with the teacher we called my son in and explained to him OUR decision and how we came to it.

Then again my child is not a trouble maker in school. He is just very advanced and bored at some items and day dreams when he gets bored. After the teacher and I talked we decided it would be better to give him more appropriate work for his level and decided it was time to move him to a more advanced school!

Answer 7

sounds to me that you don't particularly like this kid....maybe you need to evaluate why. Maybe thats how mom feels....maybe she had to work and couldn't get to the conference.....you teachers don't realize that OTHERS work too....maybe the kid in question needs special education or attention............you teachers are so quick to come down on kids....the mom probably senses your insensitivity.

Answer 8

It is really sad how selfish some parents. Thats really what it boils down to, the parent is too selfish with their own time to see the need for a change. They are too caught up in their 'life' to see hwats really going on with their kids and they probably have the attitude that they are right, their kids can do no wrong and they're perfect parents. Sad...

Answer 9

she needs to come and talk to you about it. My brother is going through that stage. just remember don't show the kids you get angry or displeased with him or that u dislike him very much

Answer 10

Some parents have no business being a parent.As they themselves don't know respect.So if the parents let him do these things then he has no good future to look forward to.Which is really sad as they will wonder where they went wrong one day.A teacher can only do so much for their students.The parents are at fault for that poor child

Answer 11

I understand...its hard that some parents just seem not to care....they may think they are doing what is best....like follow your feelings,if you don't want to do something don't do it....but in real life it is not like that and I believe its better to learn that lesson young then older when the consequences are huge....imagine this child in high school decides he doesn't want to go to school...and he drops out...poof an other person that may end up on welfare or low income job....

it might be a good thing that he switched classes because the other teacher is a meanie and that might be a wake-up call to the mother...

Answer 12

I have never learned anything while I was talking.

Answer 13

Looks like the mom doesn't care about her kid's life obviosuly. If I were you I would send the kid to the office and let them deal with it. You shouldn't have to put up with this just because of the kid's mom.

Answer 14

Have the mother attend a meeting with you and the principal. Here you will be able to explain that the boy is being disruptive in class and stands a good chance of repeating 4th grade, if he fails to heed your instructions.

Answer 15

I think it's because the parents couldn't give a flying **** if their life depended on it. It's getting ridiculous. My mother has been a middle school teacher for 35 years and deals with things like this every day. At least once or twice a month, she comes home crying because the kids and parents are so rotten to her! Today was a nasty day for her. One of her students (who has constant behavior problems and a 2.4% average in the class!) was especially awful and his mother came in and went on a rampage. She called my mother a b*tch and told her son (with my mother right there) "Sean, you don't have to do anything she says. She's a b*tch. Keep doing what you're doing, sweetums. And tell me if this **** keeps being such a b*tch." If I was there I would now be on trial for assault and battery.

Answer 16

blondwi said what I wanted to say sounds like a stressed out mom who does not know what to do for him,and if she is getting negative reports day after day after day she probably just lost it.

Answer 17

some parents just think its never their child fault or whatever

Answer 18

i feel for teachers!!!!!   it is a thankless job at times, but unfortunately all parents are not on the same page as their child's teacher.  this can be difficult.  you know your school's discipline policy, see what the principal has to say.  maybe they should call in this kid's parents if this continues.  not that this excuses what is going on, but maybe this parent had some bad experiences with teachers in the past, i know this was the case with one of my 13 year old's teachers.  in his entire school "career" i have been blessed with awesome teachers until this year.  he has one that i can not stand, however, i do not let him know this and instruct him to follow her rules.  when there is a problem i do contact her, but i can't imagine it ever being so bad that together we can't come to a solution.  good luck!!!

Answer 19

I am the Mom of an 11 yr. old w/problems similar to this boy(lack of respect for elders, etc.)...I always side w/teacher of course-but I can tell you-my son learned this "attitude" from an angry, beligerant father..who I am seperated from, and now paying the price dearly-as is my son...Respect is first learned at home, and if a kid never sees Mom(or Dad) getting ANY from the other, they just don't comprehend it, I guess.

Answer 20

I think if she refuses to come in, send home a paper saying you want atleast a phone conferance... I have an 8yr old daughter in school. And her teacher has my cell and home phone, and we have chatted on the phone for reasons as small as she was going to be changing the grading system in her class and wanted to give me the heads up, and also wanted to ask if I had any concerns because I wasnt able to make it to a conferance. I think its important for teachers and parents to be on the same page so that the children get the proper education they need.

So honestly I wouldnt tell my child not to listen to a teacher, If I have any concerns or problems i talk right to the teacher.

Answer 21

It sounds like this mother is out of her mind!.