What is wrong with this competitive mother?

Question

I have two daughters that i love dearly aged 6 & 8 years old.

I have a successful career and so does my husband so sometimes we tend to over indulge when it comes to buying our kids stuff like toys, clothes..etc. But everytime i pick my girls up from school, there is this other mother who has been secretly trying to compete with me and my kids.

The last time i bought my oldest daughter a new backpack, that woman bought her daughter a Louis Vuitton backpack the next few days and her daughter told my daughter "I told my mom that you had this cool backpack and she said she'd buy me a better one than yours".... when my little girl told me this i was furious but haven't done anything.

This has happened over a period of time, anytime i get my kids something nice, she gets her kids stuff to out-do mine,

If i was up for this game, i would have bought my girls a chauffeur driven mercedes-benz long ago but how do i make it clear to her that i have no intention of following her stupidity?

Answer 1

well you know the answer to that. just ignore her. pretend she isn't doing that. really . and what do you care if her children have those kinds of things or not. tell your daughter that those material things don't matter that what matters is how you treat others and yourself. just don't play her childish games at all. Infact to stop bragging right now would be a great start.

Answer 2

What a great opportunity for you to teach your kids what is important in life.

Answer 3

By doing exactly what you've been doing. Nothing. Ignore the situation. This women obviously has something going on in her head that makes this right to her. Well, it isn't right. And flat out telling her own daughter what it is she's doing is just ignorant because unfortunately the child will learn from this behavior. Don't give in to petty childish games.  Good luck!

Answer 4

Just totally ignore it - who cares?  If she wants to be an idiot and buy her 8 year old a Louis Vuitton backpack, thats her business.  You don't need to make anything clear to her - you're feeding into the competition if you do.  Just totally ignore it and don't give it a second thought.

Answer 5

Personally you all need to show your children there are more important things than buying them things that are expensive and being better than others because you have 'money' ..Personally i just think your bragging !

Answer 6

Obviously she's a pathetic t**t, so just laugh in her face then forget all about her.

Answer 7

Ignore it, she's the one wasting money on a competition that doesn't really exist. Know that this makes you the better person.

Answer 8

Easy, ignore it. Don't let it bother you. Who cares if she is getting her daughter "better" things.  She is obviously jealous, so let that be her problem. Don't make it yours.

Add:

Or you can confront her , like branofwinterfell suggested, but there is one problem with that.  By you confronting her, will prove to her that you DO care, even tho you claim not too.

Answer 9

Do not let it bother you. She is obviously so insecure and places too high a value on material things. At the end of the day, she may well be the one who gets into financial strife first due to her trying to compete!

Answer 10

By calling her out and telling her,

"I have no desire to "one up" you when it comes to my kids.  Keep up your passive aggressive bull****, but remember that neither myself OR my children care one whit would you do."

Answer 11

Its clearly bothering you and from the tone of your question it shouldnt be....so dont let it.  By perpetuating the contest youll be as bad as her.  Her child has obviously picked up on "the contest" and that will be to her detriment eventually, one day mummy wont be able to afford to keep up, it may not be aginst you but it will happen.

Answer 12

Really? Just let it go. I don't see it being the big deal you're making it out to be. It's not like she's hurting anyone and every parent wants their child to have the best.

Answer 13

....LOL ...AT THIS

If i was up for this game, i would have bought my girls a chauffeur driven mercedes-benz long ago but how do i make it clear to her that i have no intention of following her stupidity?

You sound very rich you have this and that and you have a career too so why are you on here spouting how much you have, Teach your kids there is more to life than MONEY !

Answer 14

tell her that's it is stupid to do have this kinda behavior , and that you are not going to play this game she thinks she is starting .

Answer 15

My suggest would be to act like the bigger person you are and to ignore her and have your daughter do the same.  Just get your daughters the things you want to and don't worry about the women or her daughter.

Answer 16

Just let her be. As long as you enjoy buying stuff for your kids and can afford it, Good.If she wants to compete with you, then its her cup of tea. If she can afford to outdo you every time you get stuff for your kids, then let her go ahead, but if she is straining herself just to meet up, then she is stupid indeed.

I would not give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her silliness by letting her know that you are aware of her actions.

Answer 17

ignore it. and tell your kids how silly it is to try to play beat this with someone who doesn't even care. that person is obviously way into material items.

Answer 18

She seems very insecure and needs to be able to copy you in order to feel she is doing right. Let her continue if you can, as long as she is harming nobody.  Feel sorry for her and take it as a compliment she looks up to you.

Answer 19

These situations are so frustrating.  I think the best thing you can do is act like you don't even notice.  And don't give a sh** what her kids have.  Never make comments to your daughter about the situation.  You should even smile at the mom with a friendly "hello" as you walk on by  as if she means nothing to you.  Nothing drives a woman like that more crazy than if she doesn't "get to you".  Being indifferent will be a win in this situation.  Tell your daughter that if something like that is said to her again ("my mom bought me one better than yours") her simple reply should be "that's nice" or "how sad".  By the way, you do know that that mom is obviously insecure about herself and jelous of you right?  You technically already won.  :)