What is wrong with wanting to look nice for a male?

Question

Actually Baba Yaga, while yes I am in college AND I have heard such things from females my age the majority of these comments have come from women who are at least 35. They are off-handed comments I've heard at the grocery store or the meat of a random conversations started with someone at the salon. The point is, they have been said, I'm clearly not the only one who has heard these comments, and they are not just said by the frivolous young girls of my generation.

Answer 1

I think it's ok for women to dress to impress guys. I don't see anything wrong with wearing makeup, dresses and heels. But don't show sexual body parts in public please unless you are in a place where no children could be present.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to please a man it is perfectly normal to want to make a significant other happy.

I detest feminism but since I do not detest women I do what I can to make my wife happy. If I see something she likes I try to get it for her if I do something she likes then i continue doing it.

I like making my wife happy if more people did that rather than trying to please only themselves then more marriages would work.

My wife does the same for me.

So if you want to look nice for a male then do so.

Answer 3

I think its only natural for a girl to make herself look pretty to attract a man. Its animal instinct. The butterflies have more colorful wings to attract its mate. I think it is difficult for women to gain respect in the workplace if they have to concentrate on looks so much. However, I read an article last year saying that men were getting peck implants, so I think it is natural for all people to be concerned about looks. Women just be more inclined to feel more sensitive about image.

Answer 4

That is like me, a man, saying I am subjugating myself to women because I like to wear nice clothes, take care of myself in regards to personal hygiene and be kind to women.

It is ridiculous.

Answer 5

I agree with you.

I don't feel the slightest bit subjugated when I take steps to look nice for my boyfriend. It's something I like to do.

A friend of mine joked to me, "you know your boyfriend would still shag you senseless if you showed up in a burlap sack."

To which I replied, "That's why it's a pleasure to look nice for him. appreciation deserves more to appreciate."

Answer 6

There's nothing wrong with it at all.  I think its fully natural to love to dress up and look nice.  I love to get dressed up for my man, even if we're just going to the movies or down the street.  Maybe its stupid, but I like when we're walking and I look good while next to him (meaning I like when his friends say he has a good looking girlfriend).  I don't think its a bad thing when women like you and me love fashion or know what is in style, not, or upcoming.  And I don't care what anyone says, putting on make-up is just plain fun.  Eye make-up can be a blast.

While I don't judge women who don't care to dress up and while I recognize that this is their choice, I hate when someone says that putting effort into looking nice for a man is "subjugating oneself."  Please.  I do it for myself as well as my man.  I LIKE to look good.  And I think that is 100% natural.  Anyone who denies that about themselves is lying to themselves.

Answer 7

There is nothing at all wrong with wanting to look nice for your man.

I would take it as a compliment if I had a man that would want to look nice for me, so in turn I would hope that the man would be happy that I was trying to look nice to please him.

Answer 8

It's a personal choice. I don't think people should be judged either way...whether they like to dress well, use a little "product," or not.  

Answer 9

There nothing wrong men try to look good for women an vias versa. For someone to tell you they don't buy into that they are liers.

Answer 10

I don't think you're subjugating yourself at all! If you were putting makeup on because a man demanded it, it'd be an entirely different matter. But it sounds like you're doing it because /you/ want to for your own reasons. Even if that reason is to attract a man (a perfectly logical motivation).

In my mind, feminism is all about choice. You have the right to wear makeup and perfume and pretty clothes, but it would be nice if society were more accepting of women who chose not to do those things. It's not a natural urge for me personally, but for you it might be.

So yeah! If you like dressing up, go for it! I don't think you're degrading yourself or women in any way.

Answer 11

we all try to look presentable in some way, thats why theres different cloth fashions and colors and such.. its about how you want to portray yourself to others , theres no difference from fashion to look s**y to fashion to look Uh "business like"  it all has a purpose

Answer 12

Nothing. It's only when you value how you look to them over how you look to YOU that it becomes a problem.

For the record, I only appreciate it when ONE man compliments me on my looks. If any other man finds me physically attractive, I don't want to hear about it. That's not feminism, that's just me being me.

Answer 13

Katherine... there's nothing wrong with it.  It's amazing actually.  I love it!  It's a great thing to do.  Men love it, I know I do.  I like doing that for women.  It's a great thing to do.  I can completely relate to what you're talking about when you say "finding the best mate".  Quite honestly... it's the most amazing thing you could do!

Answer 14

Your not.  We all should try to look good (our best) for the one we love,  Its a problem when we stop trying to look our best & don't care.

Answer 15

Absolutely nothing. Men appreciate a woman who takes the time to look beautiful for him. There is nothing better than a woman who is easy on the eyes.  

Answer 16

I love looking nice for a man, especially my fiance... i've always been that way. I think that women like us just take care of ourselves. Nothing wrong with it..

Answer 17

My type of girl. Although Katherine the Great did have a fling with a horse (allegedly)

Answer 18

Even 1 of the founding feminists, Gloria Steinem, had second thoughts about it later in life, more along your line of thinking.

To be a feminist you don't have to hate men, or stop dressing for them (and yourself by the way), nor get angry when complimented.

You just have to want to be respected on an even plane with them.

Sounds like some of your acquaintances are very bitter.  You aren't.  It's as simple as that.

Answer 19

If it's considered proper & smart to dress-up for a job interview, then why not in order to make a good impression on a possible mate?

Answer 20

Nothing at all.  Men like beautiful, attractive looking women.  

Answer 21

Ain't nothing wrong with that. I dress to look attractive, and i think women should as well. I don't think many people dress like a slob. We dress to look good and to impress the opposite s*x

Answer 22

They might be self centered individuals, or they might just be closet man haters.. Who knows?

   There is nothing wrong with  "looking nice for your boyfriend,fiance,husband". Guys (guys that are happy with the relationship) often go way out of are way because we love some one.

   But trying to be more appealing to your partner in a long term relationship goes both ways as well. And  alot of reading material about relationship say trying to do little things for your partner help to strengthen a relationship.

Maybe your friends are content with an unhappy relationship?

Either way it sounds like you have a good thing going on so ignore the hate full people in your life trying to drag you down.

  

Answer 23

I'm sure women like it when guys put in the effort to look nice. There's nothing wrong with it at all.

Answer 24

Absolutely nothing. I like to put in the extra effort for someone I'm interested in or care for.

I don't see it as any different than, say, someone making a special meal or buying a special gift for someone they're interested in. It just shows that you're willing to put in the extra effort, in whatever way someone chooses to show that.

Answer 25

I love dressing up and looking attractive for my partner. I also love dressing up and looking good for myself!

I've never met a feminist who's commented on subjugating herself to a man via appearance. Ever. Yet strangely, you hear these things "all the time"!

The only place I've "heard" the things you apparently hear "all the time" is HERE!! You've never seen the countless threads like "Gentlemen, how pleasant would it be if women dressed like this..." or "why don't women dress up all nice for her man"  or  "why don't feminists wear make up"? I know plenty of feminists, who strangely, wear make-up!!! Fancy that!! Even ME!!!!

Crazy, huh?

Answer 26

When you are grooming for your own psychological well-being its a good thing.  What can cheer you up when you're feeling a bit down down?  Get a new haircut, dye your hair.  Change can be good!  When you are grooming (or undergoing surgery) for the psychological "well-being" of other people - its a bad thing.  Then you lose your humanity and become a commodity.

Answer 27

Where do you get this stuff?  Are you a college student?  You must be, or you wouldn't have much time for such ridiculous thoughts.  Guaranteed in the real world your question would bring hoots of derisive laughter from real women who take the time to look nice, period!

ETA:  Oh, really?  That's news to me.  Maybe you'll feel the same way when you're 35, or at least understand them.  Among the women I know and work with, looking good is taken for granted.

Answer 28

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look nice for whatever reason. It is your choice and your should stick with it. Who cares what other people think.  

Answer 29

Nothing. I wear casual clothes most of the time, with a hint of make-up.

My clothes are clean and pressed, and I coordinate the accessories.It's normal to want to look presentable versus sloppy.

Altering your body to please a man is over the top, I agree.

Answer 30

I agree. As a man, there are things that require effort, but are within my values, that I have done to attract women. There are others that require too much effort and/or are outside of my values. You're experiencing misled feminism. I've been away for a while, and just wanted to remind you that this forum is generally NOT representative of reality.

Answer 31

we should all want to look nice no matter what the occassion..albeit having the idea that its okay for a man to look like a smelly animal while u dress up and smell all lovely is certainly not okay...we should all basically present ourselves in front of someone we are attracted to the way we would present ourselves in ordinary life...we dont dress filthy or smell filthy in normal life..if that was the case and you went all decked out on a date it would be misrepresenting yourself because suppose you do get into a relationship, the person will discover who you truly are and may not feel attracted to you..

usually if someone gets to know you, you're personality (if its appealing) will enhance your looks (its scary but thats exactly what happens). but first impressions are often very important whether your on a job interview or trying to attract a possible mate..

how we present ourselves tells alot about how we look at ourselves and so i believe theres nothing wrong with dressing a little nicer than usual (you should go from dressing nice to dressing better rather than dressing like you're from a different planet to decking yourself out because thats when you're being a conformist)

i tend to want to smell nice and look presentable no matter where i go because the way you carry yourself as i said gives the world an idea of how much respect and value you have for your own self...if you respect yourself others will be compelled to respect you.

when you alter your body or dress S****y in order to be conspicuously more sexually appealing, thats when you're actually subjugating yourself to men.