What is your biggest hang up in life?

Question

How are you going to deal with it?

Answer 1

I've had a few, I really can't say which one is bigger but if we not taking things of the past then my biggest hang up now, in the present, is the lack of love at all levels in my life. I suffer from lonliness and Its not because I perceive it like that, I have no family and my friends (the little that I havr\e) are not good ones. People have the tendency to hurt me wether they do this intentionally or not. I've never had, for 17 years, any real love except from one parent. I don't even think that I'll get married and when I do, I won't have anyone to invite- even family. I try and trt, keep on learning and perservering. I don't even fall victim to the victim attitude, but sheer misforturne is always there and I meet the wrong people...not that all are evil, I'm just not special to anyone. I value friendship deeply and all my good relationships disspear no matter of what I don't or do do or what attitude I have.

I am getting help because I seriously suffered througout my life, I have taken abuse in all forms...I am strong and brave but as much as I have grown through councelling theres still a huge, deep hole that has to be filled in my heart. You won't believe how hard I've tried and continue to do so even though it seems pointless to me...i can't change people...Its hard for me to explain in this answer but I have nobody. I have so much love to give but nobody wants it. It kills me because I know that theres wrong with me and so I can't figure out why this is happening, it hurts more in a weird way.

I can't even get a boyfriend, I know that this is one of the weirdest things to say but I feel that atleast If one person (except one parent) could love me at such a deep and intimate level, than I'll be fine. But guys don't know me and the ones that do are uninterested. Even when I fall deep and care deeply about someone nothing happens...it hurts badly and it's not even their fault.

I used to have/have a mild form of social anxiety and that sets me off even further,

For past hang ups that may influence the present:

a) borderline or bioolar (not sure which one) mother.Was really bad. She abused me physichally and mentally

b)Divorce, live with one parent...a lack of a mum always is present

c)sexually abused by an elder cousin- led to me confronting him and I don't get to see my family because mainly they are angry at me and they never really cared about me either way and would rather defend a peadophile. They were not good support even when they were involved in my life

d)bullied in school for many years

e) always abandoned by people I finally connect to

Lack of love and excess of torture, betrayal and exploitation is my lifes biggest hang up.

I'm trying to deal with it by going to councelling and picking myself up everyday and always keep on trying...hopefully atleast one person from the hundereds I have already met or will meet will become a nice friend or a spouse. Pray it happens.

P.S sorry if it was gory and long.

Answer 2

Umm, not being able to make a final decision on things.

I'm never really sure of myself.

A lot of the things that come out of my mouth are half-baked ideas.

I think I've hurt friends with my words before.

But I wasn't really thinking of how they would feel too deeply, or even if it was how I was actually feeling.

I've been thinking more about things before I do them, but sometimes I over think it, and it makes it worse.

It's not as bad as when I was in, say, middle school. But I know I should still try to improve myself.