What is your definition of the word mother?

Question

I realize this may cause some controversy- but I feel that I need to ask this question. I always thought that a mother is one that raised you, fed you, taught you, loved you? Am I wrong here? Not to negate the importance of the birth mother in adoption. She is unselfish, and I am very thankful that my birth mom loved me, and the birth moms of my 2 adopted children loved them enough to chose life, when they knew that they could raise us. Even the birth mom of our son, said "you will always be his mother". Please don't take this as criticism of people who don't think adoptive parents are real moms and dads, it just concerns me because it sometimes makes us out to be 2nd rate, and not the real thing.

Answer 1

A person who raises, loves, and cares for you. Raises you to be a good person, and not do troubled things.  A person who loves you not matter what kind of mistake you make. Cares for you no matter what, a mother is a mother:)

Answer 2

MY definition of mother is someone who loves unconditionally and places the needs of her children above her own, on a personal level, and not only with words, but also actions.

Answer 3

Essentially your "mother" is the woman who raises you and cares for you.  Your "biological mother" is someone who homed you for 9 months and decided to give you a better life, which is a noble decision at that.  However,  I think to be called "mother"  it takes a lot more than just being pregnant and giving birth....

Answer 4

It seems like you have a totally different question on your mind and you just dont want to offend anyone... Your not wrong in your definition, but then agin not just one definition would work for such a strong word now would it? If you love them and care for them and put them before your self 99.9 percent of the time (( not saying you need to do that all of the time because you need to take care of yourself too)) then you are a mother correct?

Answer 5

I think that each person has the right to define that word for themselves.  My mother (who both gave birth to me AND raised me) wasn't much of a mother.  I have a close friend who I consider to be my chosen mother.  I know people who are adamant that the woman who raised them is their ONLY mother (even if that's not legally correct), and I know people who feel strongly that the woman who raised them is NOT their mother (adopted and otherwise).  I don't really feel that it's my place to tell them they're wrong...it's THEIR life, and they have the right to define the roles of the people in their own lives.  Just as I do.  Just as you do.

Answer 6

a mother is one that loves unconditionally,leads by example,puts others before herself biological or not a good mother could never be called second rate....God Bless you

Answer 7

Having been adopted myself, I can only say a Mother is the woman who raises you, who is there for you to hold and comfort you when you are sick or hurt, the woman who laughs with you, who cries with you, who loves you, even when you aren't exactly lovable, for whatever reason, (teen years),

That is what I call a real Mother, and God bless them.

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Answer 8

I think a mommy is the one who loves, nurtures, raises, finds puzzle pieces, helps with homework, kisses booboos, and reads bedtime stories.  I think choosing to adopt is sometimes an agonizing decision, but such a great one.  Providing a child with love and a home, what could be better.  Mother can be a birth mom, technically.  But to be a mommy, that is the real privelege.  You are the mommy!  Congrats on your kiddos!

Answer 9

There are many definitions of the word mother, and many are applicable.  Only those with "closed eyes" can't see that there are many meanings to "mother."  

A person who gives birth is a mother.  A person who raises a child is mother.  A person who loves and cares for a child is a mother...etc.

Mother Thersa was a "mother" to thousands of poor children.  

It is not an all-or-nothing word....it is a spectrum.

Answer 10

I totally agree with you. Although your biological mom may have given birth to you, still, who will those children ever call "Mom"? Who will they look up to, live with, and cherish??? Definitely I would say that it doesn't matter whether you're adopted or not, it just matters on who raises them and who they WILL think of as their "real" mom.

Answer 11

A mother is always someone who births a child.

A mother CAN be someone who raises a child.

Answer 12

I'm just gonna stick with the technical meaning

moth·er 1 (mr)

n.

1. A woman who conceives, gives birth to, or raises and nurtures a child.

2. A female parent of an animal.

3. A female ancestor.

4. A woman who holds a position of authority or responsibility similar to that of a mother: a den mother.

5. Roman Catholic Church

a. A mother superior.

b. Used as a form of address for such a woman.

6. A woman who creates, originates, or founds something: "the discovery of radium, which made Marie Curie mother to the Atomic Age" Alden Whitman.

7. A creative source; an origin: Philosophy is the mother of the sciences.

8. Used as a title for a woman respected for her wisdom and age.

9. Maternal love and tenderness: brought out the mother in her.

10. The biggest or most significant example of its kind: the mother of all battles.

11. Vulgar Slang Something considered extraordinary, as in disagreeableness, size, or intensity.

adj.

1. Relating to or being mother.

2. Characteristic of a mother: mother love.

3. Being the source or origin: the mother church.

4. Derived from or as if from one's mother; native: one's mother language.

tr.v. moth·ered, moth·er·ing, moth·ers

1. To give birth to; create and produce.

2. To watch over, nourish, and protect maternally.

Answer 13

I think perhaps that "real mothers" are those who are truly confident in their parenting and don't need to look to random strangers for a validation of who they are.

The only people who can truly tell you that you are a mother, are your kids.

Ask them.

Answer 14

A mother is the person who takes care of you, plain and simple.

I think that birth 'mothers' are very strong and wise people and I'm grateful to mine. But I have a mother, and it is the woman who raised me. I don't know why so many users her seem to view that as some sort of slight or impossibility when it is the predominant attitude among actual adopted adults.

Answer 15

I have two mothers.  One gave birth to me and loved me.  One raised me and loved me.

There is no reason to deny one or the other of them.