What is your favorite quote from "The Office"?

Question

I love the one "I send Dwight faxes from himself. From the future."

Answer 1

I loved it when Michael was about to pretend to kill himself and said, "Dwight, you ignorant s**t."

Or when Kelly said, "Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!"

Or - my favorite- when Michael said, "There is such a thing as good grief.  Just ask Charlie Brown."

My other favorite- "I feel so strangely powerful." - Jim

Answer 2

You can't fire me I don't work in this van!!

Pretty much anything that comes out of Dwight's mouth is my favorite quote.

Answer 3

anything from creed!

"In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a man slipped in. Would be no way of knowing"

& of course any prank that jim plays on dwight ;]

Answer 4

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica.

Answer 5

"that's what she said"

HA

and "question. which bear is best"

that was a good question thanks

Answer 6

gosh this is hard theres too many! I'll try to say some that people havent already said..

Michael: You don't call retarded people 'retards'. It's bad taste. You call your friends 'retards' when they're acting retarded.

No, no, no. I am not dating Jan. She was very clear about that

I am ridiculously anti-drug. So anti-drug that I am above suspicion in any way that involves suspicion, or testing of any kind.

Am I going to tell them? No, I am not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.

Stanley: I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little, but on Pretzel Day? Well, I like pretzel day.

Ryan: I ground up four extra-strength aspirin and put them in Michael's pudding. I do the same thing with my dog to get him to take his heartworm medicine.

Dwight: [sings] Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe, Ryan started the fire!

[sobbing] Jim is gone. He's gone. I miss him so much. Ooooh I cry myself to sleep, Jim! [serious] False. I do not miss him.

I.D. badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

You are so busted. Ice skates, shopping bags? I think I know what's going on here. You weren't sick at all.

When I die, I wanna be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died and what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.

Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair.

Pam: I put out a bunch of extra candy out on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. ...Like the witch in Hanzel and Gretel.

Jim is not allowed to talk until after he buys me a coke. Those are the rules of jinx, and they are unflinchingly rigid.

Creed: I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times and I have paid dearly.

Andy: I'll be the Number Two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake. I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter that makes stairs.

Dwight: OK, do me. Something stereotypical so I can get it really quick.

Pam: OK, I like your food.

Dwight: Outback steakhouse. [Australian accent] I'm Australian, mate!

Michael: Pam, come on. "I like your food." Come on stir the pot. Stir the melting pot, Pam! Let's do it. Let's get ugly. Let's get real.

Pam: OK. If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.

Dwight: Oh, man, am I a woman?

Jim: Wait. What are you writing? Don't write Ebola or mad cow disease. Right? 'Cause I'm suffering from both.

Pam: I'm inventing new diseases.

Jim: Oh, great.

Pam: So, let's say my teeth turn to liquid and then, they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?

Jim: I thought you said you were inventing diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion.

Pam: Nice.

Jim: Thank you.

Jan: You already had a party on May 5th for no reason.

Michael: No reason?! It was the 05 05 05 party...

Jan: And you had a luau....

Michael: ...it happens once every billion years.

Jan: And a tsunami relief fundraiser which somehow lost a lot of money.

Michael: Okay, no, that was a FUN raiser. I think I made that very clear in the fliers, fun, F-U-N.

Jan: Okay, well, I don't understand why anyone would have a tsunami FUN raiser, Michael. I mean, that doesn't even make sense.

Michael: Well, I think a lot of people were very affected by the footage.

Michael: Okay, so Dwight, in your own words - [reads from complaint paper] "Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert." [flips to another paper] "Everyone has called me 'Dwayne' all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to."

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Jim: [laughs] Yes! Five bucks each. And it was totally worth it.

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Michael: [reading] "This morning, I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer." [flips to another paper] "Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the woman's room. When I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can." Gah. "This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone."

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Jim: That actually took a while. I had to put, uh, more and more nickels into his handset, till he got used to the weight, and then I just... took 'em all out.

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Michael: [reading] "Every time I typed my name, it said 'Diapers'."

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Jim: Just a simple macro. You know, these actually don't sound that funny one after another. But he does deserve it, though.

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Michael: "By the end of the day, my desk was about two feet closer to the copier."

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Jim: Yeah, I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom. And that's how I spent my entire day that day.

Phyllis: It will never happen again. My boyfriend, Bob Vance, from Vance Refrigeration gave me a Vance Refrigeration credit card. Only for emergencies.

Kevin: An emergency like, you have an ice cream cake, and you're in the sun, and it's melting?

Angela: You don't use it to buy refrigerators, Kevin!

Jim: After you sir.

Dwight: No thank you, I never let anyone walk behind me. Seven out of ten attacks are from the rear.

Jim: Ok, well, that still leaves a 30% chance that I will attack you from the front.

Dwight: Uh, yeah, but it will be easier to stop. I can always block the blow. I can counter it with... [Jim slaps Dwight]

Haha that’s a lot! Im pretty bad at narrowing them down!

Answer 7

"bears.  beets. battlestar galactica" ^_^ classic

Answer 8

Phyllis: I have a friend who's single.

Michael: Oh.

Phyllis: Sandy. She gorgeous and she's got a feisty personality, too.

Michael: Hmmm, feisty. So, she's not jolly or sassy? Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer?

Phyllis: Mmm, no. She's a professional softball player.

Michael: Ewwww, ooooh...Catcher or in-field?

Phyllis: I don't know, Michael.

Michael: Is she a dress wearer or a pants wearer? Could we share a rowboat? Could...could a rowboat support her?

Phyllis: What are you asking?

Michael: I think I'm being very clear, what I'm asking. Would an average size rowboat support her without capsizing? [long pause] It bothers me that you're not answering the question.

Phyllis: No. Alright? No, she can't fit on a rowboat.

Michael: Yes! I knew it. I knew it! Phyllis, okay.