What is your funniest joke involving a duck?

Question

The laughlab.co.uk experiment concluded that ducks are the funniest animals to include in jokes.

Answer 1

What does a duck eat with cheese??

Quackers!!

Answer 2

Three ducks are in a pond blowing bubbles when a policeman comes up to them and arrests them. The Policeman says to the first one "What is your name?" He replies "Quack". The police officer says "what were you diong in the pond?" . The duck says "Oh i was just blowing bubbles." so the policeman lets him go.

So the second duck is brought into the room, and the policeman says "What is your name?". The duck says "Quack Quack". The policeman asks "so what were you doing in the pond?" the duck says "I was only blowing bubbles". so the policeman also lets him go.

So the third duck is brought in, and the policeman says "Let me quess, your name is Quack Quack Quack and you were blowing bubbles in the pond."

The duck replies "No, i'm Bubbles"

Answer 3

not really duck related but does mention duck

A duck was sitting in a bar when a panda walks in, sits down and orders a sandwich. The panda eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the bartender in the foot. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! You just shot my bartender and you didn't pay for your sandwich! Who do you think you are?!?" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager rushes to his dictionary...

pan*da n. (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) A rare, mountain dwelling mammal of China and Tibet, characterized by distinct black and white coloring.

Eats chutes and leaves.

Answer 4

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bar tender "I'll have a beer".

The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"

The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".

And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?"

And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"

Answer 5

A duck went into a pub and asked the Barman: "Got any duck food?"

"No I haven't, now clear off.

Next day, the duck goes into the pub and again asks for duck food.

"I told you yesterday, we don't have any, now get out."

Next day, the duck goes into the pub again, and asks for duck food.

"Look," says the Barman, "If you come in here asking for duck food again, I'll nail your Bill to the bar, now get out."

The next day, the duck goes into the pub and says to the Barman:

"Got any nails?"

"No." says the Barman

"Good," says the duck, "Got any duck food?"

Answer 6

They're not all they're quacked up to be...

Answer 7

2 ducks walk into a bar.....Ouch!

Answer 8

Mary had a little lamb.

She also had a duck.

She put them on the mantelpiece

To see if they would.......fall off.

Answer 9

2 ducks go on their honeymoon & stay in a hotel. as they are about to make love the male duck says: "oh we haven't got any condoms, i'll ring down for room service". he calls reception and asks for some condoms to be sent up.

"ok sir" the woman says,"shall i put them on your bill?. "of course not" says the duck."i'll suffocate!!!"

Answer 10

Did you here the joke about the duck? i won't tell you because it'll Quack you up :D