What is your idea about my paragraph?

Question

This paragraph will determine if I will work for an instructor on not and it is due on Monday. Thank u if u answered to this question for the first time and here is the corrected version. Can you check if there are mistakes? Thanks.

Why do I need to work in this clerical job?

First of all, as a biology major student, I have had a lot of research paper assignments that I had to turn in. My previous writing skills will help me boost the quality of the work I am going to perform. It will also benefit me for the rest of college and university research papers. Second reason why I believe this job will be an appropriate job for me is, it requires high self-motivated habit of working and continuous process of writing proper emails. It keeps my mind fresh to have the same approach in my own life and education. Also, this clerical job will help me maintain my Microsoft office Word, Excel and Power Point skills that I worked with in either my last jobs or the computer classes I took. One of the most important benefits I can achieve from this job is, I can apply all of my advanced writing skills for this job. I am focusing on English 101, Sociology 101 and Art history comprehension, writing essays, strong grammar and vocabulary and analysis from the sentences of each material. In addition, except for my classes, exercises and homework assignments, I enjoy browsing and using information on internet efficiently. At last, I always like and honor the jobs that teaches me the way of thinking through communication, rather than theories and rules. Besides all of the reasons mentioned, I am a full time student and need to catch up on my readings regularly and the flexibility of working some of job duties like typing and searching online can give me the choice of finishing the tasks on my daily schedule basis.

Answer 1

Ughhh no chance but if you add that you will suck off your boss or let him touch you then you will get in

Answer 2

Aside from needing the money and the job fitting in well with my college schedule, I would dearly like to work for you.  I know that is not an actual "need", but for me it is important to work for someone I like and respect, and from whom I might learn something worthwhile.

I want a job that exploits my strengths.  I am a skilled writer, am capable of critical writing and thinking.  Enjoy the demands and autonomy of working as a clerk for a busy professor and the trust I might be able to earn by performing well.  I feel that by reading and critically analyzing other students work, not only do I have the chance of strengthening my own writing skills, but help other students with theirs.

I enjoy challenging, intellectually stimulating, purposeful work.  I feel that working for you as a clerk will be all of that.

I will work hard, show up on time and will gladly meet the challenges and demands you set for me.

It is not perfect, but your answer was... well.  My.  Trust me.

Answer 3

OK > I've edited your story.  I'm not understanding the last sentence > did you mean "choice" or "chance"?  Your  submission would be easier to read if it wasn't one solid block.  

I've also changed or omitted a few things that make things flow better.  Feel free to use it or go with what you already have.  This line though >One of the most important benefits I can achieve from this job is, I can apply all of my advanced writing skills for this job > is known as non sequitur >>you can't gain a benefit if you're already applying a skill you currently possess.    Good luck.

Why do I need to work in this clerical job?

First of all, as a biology major student, I've had many research paper assignments . My previous writing skills will help me improve the quality of the work I will be performing.  It will also benefit me for the remainder of my college and university research papers.

Second reason why I believe this position will be an appropriate one for me is, it requires high self-motivated habit of working,  and a continuous process of writing proper emails. It will keep my mind fresh to have the same approach in my own life and education. Also, this position will help me maintain my Microsoft office Word, Excel and Power Point skills that I worked with in both my last employment, and the computer classes I have taken.

I am focusing on English 101, Sociology 101 and Art history comprehension, writing essays, strong grammar and vocabulary, and analyses from the sentences of each material. In addition, I enjoy browsing and using information on the internet efficiently.

In addition to the aforementioned reasons, I am a full time student and need to catch up on my readings regularly and the flexibility of working some of job duties like typing and searching online will provide me with the choice of finishing the tasks on my daily schedule basis.

Answer 4

Why do I need to work in this clerical job?

First of all, as a biology major student, I have had a lot (<--DEAD WORD) of research paper assignments that I had to turn in. My previous writing skills will help me boost the quality of the work I am going to perform. It will also benefit me for the rest of college and university research papers. THE second reason why I believe this job will be an appropriate job for me is it requires high self-motivated habit of working and continuous process of writing proper emails. It keeps my mind fresh to have the same approach in my own life and education. Also, this clerical job will help me maintain my Microsoft office (<--capitalize "Office") Word, Excel and Power Point skills that I worked with in either my last jobs or the computer classes I took. One of the most important benefits I can achieve from this job is, I can apply (<--applying; do not use "is, I can apply") all of my advanced writing skills for this job. I am focusing on English 101, Sociology 101 and Art history comprehension, (<--either capitalize Art History Comprehension, or do not capitalize anything) writing essays, strong grammar and vocabulary(<--comma here for clarity) and analysis from the sentences of each material. In addition, except for my classes, exercises and homework assignments, I enjoy browsing and using information on THE internet (<--capitalize "Internet") efficiently. At last, I always like and honor the jobs that teaches me the way of thinking through communication, rather than theories and rules. Besides all of the reasons mentioned, I am a full time student and need to catch up on my readings regularly(<--comma here; compound sentence) and the flexibility of working some of job duties like(<--such as[?] "Like" is a dead word, and not very professional) typing and searching online can give me the choice of finishing the tasks on my daily schedule basis.

I hope I'm right, but I'm not an expert.