What is your opinion of sending an 8 year old boy with ADHD and autism to and institution or boarding school ?

Question

Also has severe bevavior problems such as cruelty to animals and people and playing with matches.

Answer 1

it would be my last resort, but you gotta do what you gotta do, in the best interest of everyone!

Answer 2

The symptoms your child is displaying are usually indicative of a mental disorder known as Conduct Disorder in the psychiatric community and as outlined by the DSM-IV.  They are "textbook symptoms," so to speak, of this condition.  ADHD and Conduct Disorder commonly occur together.  Treatment consists of psychiatric intervention and often includes family intervention.  You absolutely need to have your child fully evaluated by a qualified psychiatric team.  A boarding school is completely inappropriate.  Any treatment plan needs to be determined by the team.

Below are some links that discuss this condition.

http://www.adhd.com.au/conduct.html

http://dcfswebresource.prairienet.org/re...

Answer 3

Ummm like that is a really bad idea.. Kids with autism have trouble making new friends and if he is only 8 then i would say that makes it worse...And he might freak out on someone if he has behavior problems...My opinion is the hole thing is a bad idea. A instutution might be ok if there are specialy trained people there to help him.

Answer 4

That sounds mean and unloving to me, plus he probably won't get the love, care, and attention needed to improve. good luck!

Answer 5

If the child needs help and the place offers it i would send him/her there for there needs. Of course i would visit them all i could though. I would not send them to a public school because kids now days make fun of anyone with a difference. Not all kids do but some.

Answer 6

He doesn't need boarding school.  He needs psychiatric care.  

I would hope that he is currently seeing a counselor or psychiatrist who can help determine whether the break/separation from his family/parents would actually help or hinder his healing.

Answer 7

It sounds like your outsourcing your job.  Sounds like you need to get some parenting help!  Problems like this will not be cured at boarding school.

Answer 8

I agree with helpnout, i have an 8 year old autistic son with adhd so i understand, but get the boy some help. There are meds for the aggression and defiant problems and there are so many resources, i wouldn't dream of having my son anywhere but here at home, even on the really bad days!!!!

Answer 9

I think that he needs you there as a parent , there are lots of counseling programs you can go through with him . In the long run sending him off could be the breaking point in making him really act out , letting him know you have a unconditionnaly love for him is what he needs , It may be hard but even when he's acting out tell him you love him , show him physical contact & physical emotion , play with him , sing to him & cuddle him that's what he needs .

Answer 10

What ever happened to parent?!?!?!

Answer 11

What is your support you are receiving in your area? Sending him to a boarding school can have many benefits 1) it gives the family a much needed respite 2) more than enough people at boarding school who are trained to give him the full support and discipline that he so badly needs at such a young age without this he can become a real problem to society at a later age. They can also control his cruelty to animals than can lead to other things later in life. There is no such thing as an institution these days. My mom sent my brother to boarding school because the area couldn't meet his educational needs. The first six months are the worse for adjustment and at first he didn't like it after that period we had difficulty on him not wanting  to come home. We didn't have support from social services. These type of schools are very geared to keeping the child occupied while giving them a good education and it has a large family atmosphere teaching them the basics in life like what we take for granted and you not having the time to teach them. One problem if you do have support make sure you still have the support when the child comes home from boarding school for holidays because they can sometimes cut the support due to the fact hes out of the area. You are not giving him to someone else to pass the responsibility on, you are building him up for the future so he can take part in society and not become a statistic that either ends up in prison or a psychiatric ward. Specialised teaching will make a difference take it from someone who knows and you will still be encouraged to take part in anything that goes on at school. Its ok for people to make assumptions when they havent had to go through this themselves. Don't feel guilty about sending him away to the best school possible that meets his needs as you will see in the whole family a difference when the help is actually there. If you are on benefits be prepared to lose them because they dont get the financial help.

Answer 12

Hmmm... not having walked in the parents' shoes, it's difficult to answer this one, but I may do it as a last resort, and of course only if the school was easy to visit and had an excellent reputation for high quality care. Again, I've never dealt with a child with those problems, and especially not for eight years. I'm sure whoever these parents are, they felt it was the best choice they could make.

Answer 13

horrible.

my brother is autistic. i know my mother would never send him off anywhere because being autistic, he doesn't have a relationship with most people. she is the one of the only people in his universe that he actually trusts. children with autism also have a strong attachment to their familiar environment- they cannot process the idea of change very well. if you send him off to a new home with a bunch of strangers, he will be confused and probably will do worse, and wonder where mommy is.

put the matches out of his reach.

get rid of pets (the boy is more important), or leave them outside. no little boy at age 8 should be left unsupervised with matches, anyway. like other little boys, he's going to act up. but his mind capacity is that of someone younger, like 5. he just doens't understand.

don't send him away. THAT is cruelty.

Answer 14

i love your brother

Answer 15

The child needs help... shipping him off to become someone else's "problem" is hardly going to solve matters.

Your job as his parents is to see him through this & see that he gets the love, guidance & help he requires...not toss him away like some piece of garbage because he isn't perfect enough for you

Answer 16

I would do some valid research and find the best institution for him.  If he has that many behavior problems, he needs extensive treatment and counseling whether he lives at home or elsewhere.  It's easy for people who know nothing of the challenges you face day to day to ridicule you for not keeping him at home, but you have to do what you feel is the best for him, you, other innocent people, and your family.

Answer 17

Understanding that autism is a spectrum disorder  and assuming that the parents/guardians have exhausted all other avenues to support this child successfully in the home environment it might be something necessary to be done.

I know of a family with a child on the extreme end of the spectrum who did send their child to a boarding school, and yes they agonized over this decision, but in the end it turned out to be the right choice for the child and the family. And, yes it will depend on the institution/school as to what type of services they can provide.

Some children have more challenges than others, and it's not the fault of the parents for not trying. I would hope others would not be judgmental since many have not walked in this family's shoes.

Answer 18

I f you can get a place in a boarding school go for it.My daughter had exactly those problems and I didn't get offerred a place until she was 14 years old.By that age she was bigger and stronger than me, violent, aggressive,destructive and very dependent on me.She attended week days only, coming home for holidays and weekends.It probably saved my sanity, the break giving me a chance to rest and cope when she was at home.Like most of these children she slept for only short periods at a time and needed supervision during the night as well as during the day.She is now 19 and at home full time and we are coping.I know that I would not have coped without the break boarding school provided, and the help and support of the special needs staff.Love alone is not enough.Between the age of 11 and 14 she was at home full time with me as local schools would not take her(problems too complex),if I had known how hard it would be I would have sent her to the school much earlier.Don't wait for breaking point.

Answer 19

Are you sure of his diagnosis?

What does his diet consist of? Junk food? or Fruit,veggies and lean protein?

How do you discipline?

Im not saying ADHD and autism dont exist I just have a problem with the huge increase of cases in the past few years. Most kids eat way too much sugar and over processed foods. Most kids also are way under disciplined. Im assuming he is on meds. Try changing his diet and see if that makes a difference in his behavior. Then keep him active outside, not w/video games. Dont let him sit and watch TV all day. That being said, find a Dr he responds well to and go to family therapy. Learn how to help your son if possible, dont ship him off to be somebody elses problem if you can help it.

Answer 20

he needs  his parents love and help, not pawned off on the first convenient thing coming. and im willing to bet alot of those behavioral problems stem from having parents who could even think of sending their 8 year old child off and out of their hair.

Answer 21

I think a privatized school or learning institution would be good for him.  He can get specialized help from people with training in dealing specifically with those types of situations.  I do not think it should be a boarding school or "sleep away" school. I think your child needs your support and assistance during this difficult time.

Answer 22

As a mother of an autistic child, I don't think it's right. I think the parents should get him help, but not that way. I think there are plenty of resources out there to help the child besides a boarding school or institution, provided the parents are willing to get it.

If the parents check in to their insurance, most will cover a X amount of hours for behavior therapy/counseling.

Has he been evaluated for special ed?

Part of being evaluated for special education is that the child is to be assessed in all areas related to the their suspected disability. If their behavior interferes with their learning or the learning of others, they must consider strategies and supports to address the child’s behavior. These strategies & supports are to be included within the IEP or 504 Plan..when they start, what they are, how long they will be administered, etc. If they have addressed the childs behavior already in the IEP or 504 Plan, then a meeting needs to be held in order to review the IEP or 504 Plan to consider new strategies & supports to address their behavior.

If one has not been done yet, the parents can request from the school a FBA (functional behavioral assessment). They can assess the child's behaviors and create an BIP (behavioral intervention plan) and add it to their IEP or 504 Plan . A team (which includes the parents) would need to consider positive and effective ways to address that behavior. The team would discuss the positive behavioral interventions, strategies, and supports that the child needs in order to learn how to control or manage their behavior. If the team decides that the child needs a particular service (including an intervention, accommodation, or other program modification), they must include a statement to that effect in the child's IEP or 504 Plan and in the BIP. A BIP can be put in place regardless if they have an IEP or 504 Plan.

The parents can look into a local CARD Center (Center for Autism and Related Diseases-usually located at a local university). If they put their son into their database and attend an orientation they have great services to offer for free.

They have many classes that the parents can attend such as behavior basics I & II which is based off of ABA...they have many other helpful classes as well. They will also come to their home and work with him, them,  and any one else who is in contact with him on techniques and strategies to help him and them. If the school he attends gives approval, they will go there as well and work with teachers, aides, classmates, etc.

Answer 23

I'm sure this is something you have thought long and hard about, and I think if your child's problems are so severe that he is harming others and potentially himself, then residential treatment may be a move you have to make.  I'm sorry that it has come to this for you and your family, and I wish you all the luck in the world in his treatment.  Just make sure that if you send him somewhere, you do all the research, and feel comfortable with the place.

Answer 24

Find a school that will specialize in his needs and offer psychiatric care.  Don't ship him to an institution or boarding school.  Someplace where he can get the care he needs PLUS the security of his home should be sufficient.  You didn't indicate where he is on the autism spectrum.  Many children are autistic and still are fully capable of understanding their behaviors.  ADHD is treatable.  A friend of mine has a son who is ADHD and mildly autistic.  He too had behavioral problems and it was determined that neither the adhd or the autism had anything to do with his behavior.  Come to find out there was no growth or activity in the part of his brain that provided impulse control.  The doctors have placed him on a combination of medications that stimulate his brain for impulse control, plus his adhd medication, and there has been a total turn around in his behavior.  I hope this tidbit of info will help you, and good luck getting him the care he needs.