What is your opinion of/thoughts about this situation regarding a new girl in a toddler room?

Question

She cried all day. When adults came near her or spoke directly to her, she screamed and cried even louder. After a couple of days, the lead teacher decided the adults should stop approaching her as it was making it worse. She noticed that if they left her alone, she would calm down. On the third day, the adults greeted her but let her stay near the door like she wanted and went calmly about their business. The girl was still crying but not screaming. After about 30 minutes, the lead teacher sat on the floor with a book and invited children to join her. She sat so the new girl could hear her and see the book, but she did not approach her directly. The teacher was excited to see that the girl was listening to the book and the crying was almost stopped!

Suddenly, her parents came in and picked her up. They had been watching through a one way window and were very upset that their child had been "ignored". The teacher was not allowed to speak to them about it and was severely reprimanded

Answer 1

This is a method I have used as well - only the parents are involved from the very beginning - what we are doing and why.  

I think your method was handled perfectly -only the parents should have been told what was going on because it obviously looked like she was being ignored.

Answer 2

You can only do so much for a child who is crying because they didn't want mommy and/or daddy to leave them.  You can't force them to sit with you and read a book because they'll fight and kick and do whatever they want.    The teacher was correct in her actions (including monitoring where the little girl was).  And the parents should have sat with the teacher and the director of the daycare.  The teacher should not have been reprimanded, especially since nowadays, most rooms are equipped with hidden cameras, and they can see what's going on.

Answer 3

It sounds like the teacher did the right thing. The lead teacher noticed that the girl became less upset when not directly approached, but the teacher still made an effort to include the girl in the activity, such as facing the girl while reading a story to the group. Too bad the parents flipped out on her. The lead teacher should appeal the reprimand and/or look for another job.

Answer 4

The day care should have mentioned to the parents EACH day what went on with the child.

I think that too many times, daycares expect to "fix" kids because of their so-called knowledge of child development. But, any reasonable person would recognize that all children are different and the first thing to do would be to get to know the parent and how the parent deals with situations. It's wrong for a daycare to assume that they know better than the parents do about what the child needs in a certain situation. They should have asked after the very first day instead of using the poor child as an experiment.

On the other hand, the parents should have taken the initiative to meet each worker, along with their child. Often, daycare centers allow prospective clients to observe the operations of the center. Centers usually give rough guidelines of how children will be treated (ie. "All children will be encouraged to enjoy group reading daily") and they are often told that the best thing for the child is to leave right away without long goodbyes to lessen the severity of parent-withdrawal/ attachment issues. The problem is that in doing this, the center assumes the authority of parent without assuming the responsibility to the child.

I agree with the parents: the child was being ignored. The center should have sought advice from the parents on how best to handle their child after day one. Allowing a child to stand in the corner alone and cry/scream is not fair to the child or to the other children.  It demonstrates a lack of maturity on the part of the toddler room teacher and she should have been reprimanded, especially if it's the policy of the daycare to inform the parents about daily activity.

After days one and two, the parents could do nothing other than safely assume that their child had been effortlessly assimilated into the classroom and that all was well.

Communication between parent and childcare worker is vital. The parent is the client and the center is the service provider and thus center is responsible for initiating contact with the parent to inform them that things aren't going as smoothly as planned.

Answer 5

You did the right thing in your professional opinion and you should not be concerned otherwise. Parents can sometimes be very difficult and it is a shame that they did not take the time to discuss this with you. As for your manager she was doing what she thought was her responsibility. In future be sure to discuss your concerns and strategies with your line manager to ensure that you have support.

Answer 6

Whenever you have a child who is having a difficult separation it is always a good idea to let your administrators know what you have tried and why. The parents should have been accompanied by an administrator who could interpret for them what you were doing. Without understanding your rationale the parents could only interpret your actions as ignoring their child. In the fact  you gave her the opportunity to participate in the reading activity  By giving her feedback like, "oh I am glad you listened to the story" you are paying attention to her without reinforcing her crying.

Answer 7

YH, I think you did exactly what I would have done in the situation.  If comforting made her worse, then it would only make sense to leave her alone to comfort herself and find her bearings.  She was not being "ignored", she was being given independence to decide when SHE was ready to join the group.  Instead of forcing her and the issue you let her find her comfort level and to me, that is great!

It's too bad it wasn't seen that way by all.  For the record though, I think you did the right thing! ;o)

~mc

Answer 8

as a former childcare director i feel the teacher did what she should and i would have stood behind her to the parents.

Answer 9

I agree with everyone. The situation was handled very well with the child. Yes the teacher should have informed the parents and her director from the beginning so they would know what she was doing. The director also should have asked the parents to meet with the teacher and her before they took the child away. The director could have talked with the teacher ahead of time. I do hope this lead teacher writes a letter to request a retraction of the reprimand. If there is a school board at this school or day care I hope that they are informed of the situation. I wonder what type of early childhood education this administrator has.

Answer 10

I think Ann gave a fantastic answer.  The only slip up was not informing the parents before hand of the plan and why it needed to be done.  Everything else was handled perfectly.

Answer 11

Well, I think from everything that has already been said that almost all of the bases have been covered.  What I would like to add, though, is that if your Director didn't stand behind you, it might be time to consider a new setting.  

The demand for high-quality child care is not going to lessen, but the supply of high-quality professional teachers is extremely limited.  It takes a special kind of person to do the work day in and day out, and if your Director doesn't support you, he or she is undermining your authority in the classroom, which in effect begs the question: what kind of child care facility is this, anyway?"  

When preaching from the Developmentally Appropriate Practice "bible" your director would do well to review the chapter on "The Early Childhood Teacher as Decisionmaker;" particularly the portion outlining "Using Knowledge of Individual Children to Inform Practice."

The bottom line is that if I were in your position I would feel absolutely no reason to defend my actions (aside from not "clearing" it with the Director or parents first, but a qualified teacher should be afforded the opportunity to explain his or her controversial decision).  

A final quote from the DAP "bible:"

"To support children's learning and development, teachers need to know each child well and use what they know-including that child's learning styles, interests and preferences, personality and temperament, skills and talents, challenges and difficulties."