What is your opinion of women who "stand by their man" after he has been caught out cheating?

Question

Do you think they are weak?

Misguided?

Martyrs?

Answer 1

Well its none of my business what happens between them. I reckon she shouldnt complain if she chooses to stay with him, and he shouldnt complain if she meets another person.

Answer 2

If you have years invested, it's too easy to say you would leave.

I don't think I could stick around if someone cheated on me, but it's not for me to judge someone who would. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

Some men also stick around, do you think they're weak for doing so?

Answer 3

hmm. this a tough question. it's easy to say that the women should break up with her man when you're not the one in the situation. but if you're in a serious relationship it's easy to see that it's not that simple. if my guy cheated I would be ridiculously hurt, but I would still love him all the same. I think it's important that if you do find out that your man has cheated to back off and tell him that you need time to think about it, and keep this up for at least a week, and see how he deals with this sudden removal of you in his life. hopefully he will be extremely apologetic and remorseful. after this if both of you have made the decision to stay together with his promise not to repeat the mistake you must factor in your ability to move on and not torture him with constant accusations and distrust, or else the relationship will never be repaired. if you can move on and trust him again, I say stay together, everyone makes mistakes.  

Answer 4

Honestly if my husband cheated. I would work d**n hard to understand why and to repair our marriage if possible. We would definitely have a separation for some amount of time so we could both receive counseling apart and together. However unless he was unwilling to work to save our marriage I would not divorce him. He is my husband and my children's father, people do make mistakes.

So what I think of woman who work to keep the marriage together after infidelity is that she is strong enough to put pride aside, and not selfish enough to rip a family apart because she was slighted or hurt.

Answer 5

"Don't read more into the question. Some of you automatically want to find fault with the 'victim'."  Well, I most certainly find this bit laughable; especially, when you have already suggested that they are weak, misguided and possible martyrs.  So, you have already found fault with the victim yourself.  I will give you credit, women who support their men are not weak.

So, according to your story a man cheated on his wife; I think you're leaving some very important facts out; it's these facts, and them alone that will decide the case.  For instance; was it a one time thing, or has it happened more than once?  The answer to those questions do matter.   I hold no judgment.

Answer 6

I think it's foolish to judge another relationship without all the details.  Perhaps this woman is just as unfaithful, only better at avoiding detection?  Maybe she has another reason to stay that we don't understand.

Answer 7

If it is something repetitive I do think they are weak and probably dependent on their husbands in some way.  However I would honestly have a hard time leaving someone if I had been with them for 20 year and had 3 kids with them if they made a horrible choice one time.

Answer 8

My opinion is the same as it would be if it were a man standing by his wife who cheated: Leopards do not change their spots.  Infidelity is rarely a once-off occurrence.  I would say 'mis-guided', but there is tremendous complexity to any relationship.  I might think it right to leave, but I have met many, men and women both, who disagree with me.

I left my wife when I found out she cheated (she was violent too, but that is another matter), and I have never seen her again.  Nor would I want to.

Answer 9

They are misguided for sure.  Just because it was a happy marriage before doesn't give him the right to suddenly go philandering.  She should dump him so that he gets his punishment and she becomes a stronger person for it.

Answer 10

perhaps they remain in the relationship for the sake of the kids, or they cant afford to divorce? but i feel that whatever the reason, women should get themselves backbones and stand up for themselves. they deserve to be happy and not humiliated and degraded by their cheating partner. when their partners cheat that's not respectful. if they get away they'll do it again. so, get away from the cheats. better alone then with a cheater.

Answer 11

Idiotic, a woman who stay with a cheating man is as smart as man who stay with a cheating woman.

Once a cheater always a cheater so no point in trying to make it work.

Answer 12

It's their choice. I can actually understand if their bf/husband is really sorry, but if they keep on cheating it's like why are they still with them? But like I said it's their choice if they want to stay with their bf/husband.

Answer 13

In the grandparents day a woman would never have kicked her man to the kerb, a woman would grin and bear it. Weak? I don't think so. Misguided? Perhaps. Martyrs? For sure! Are'nt they all?

Answer 14

I think the women are nuts. I would leave my hubby in a heartbeat if he ever cheated on me. And if he ever caught me cheating, I would expect him to do the same.

Answer 15

I think it 's really hard to judge from the outside.

First time I get they might want to work it out.  

By the multiple time I don't get the "saving the relationship" stuff.

Answer 16

It sets a poor example to their children, indicating that they should accept infidelity and abuse.  It's unconscionable to set that kind of example for young children, who naturally wish to emulate their parents.  ^..^

Answer 17

No, they just have different priorities than most of female population.

Not all women are possessive, though most are, of course. Technically, what damage does his cheating do to you? None whatsoever. You are in a strong position, you are his legal wife. What will happen to you if he gets a couple of girls pregnant? Nothing at all. There's no real damage, it's all your emotions. And for some (very few) women it just doesn't matter. Or at least it doesn't matter that much.  

Answer 18

I have no opinion. I don't know what goes on in their relationship or how they behave behind closed doors.  I think if the woman is really the "victim" the last thing she needs is a bunch of busybodies talking about her and insulting her.  Maybe their both cheaters but she's sneakier.  I don't know so I dont judge.

Unless I am one of the parties in this relationship, its not my business.

Answer 19

I believe that if somebody cheats then they don't deserve you.. Women or men who stand by a cheating partner are WEAK and afraid to be alone... My boy knows that if I ever catch him cheating although it would break my heart to leave him I would do it and he would never see me again...

Answer 20

Women who support their men are weak for they don't recognise how evil men are.  Only us modern Feminists are smart enough to know how evil men are, but we don't hate men, we adore them.  I don't know why men think we hate them.  Feminists are the most loving people possible.

Answer 21

I doubt my answer will be popular, but the fact is ~ life is long, people make mistakes.

Who knows what prompted this 'infidelity' on the part of her husband. Maybe he had a personal crisis and that's how he dealt with it, woke up the next day and wished he could die.

Honestly, unless you are in someone's marriage, it's impossible to make judgements about why people do things.

If he was a regular cheater, I would think the wife was  foolish and self punishing, and if she wanted to leave and was my friend, I'd obviously support her.

But she has forgiven him, for whatever reason of her own, and if she can do that well, it's actually no-one else's business.

Cheers :-)

Answer 22

A woman does not necessarily want to divorce her husband because he has been unfaithful.  She may love him too much to want to let him, go, she may be able to forgive him, or she may be resigned to his philandering. Or she may not conisder infidelity that important.  Or she may want to stay with him for the sake of the children.  if he's a good father, she might consider it worth overlooking the infidelity for that reason.

When I was young I knew one man who claimed he had been unfaithful to his wife on their honeymoon, she had caught him in bed with another woman, but she didn;t divorce him.  She loved him too much to let him go, even though he was an habitual philanderer.  

There are men who forgive their wives' infidelity as well.  It is a personal matter.  people have different temperements.  Some can cope with that sort of thing, some can not.  I don't think of them as either weak or strong.

Answer 23

A lot depends on the circumstances, how long they have been cheating for, how many lies they have told you and who they cheated with..  In a perfect world everyone deserves a second chance, especially if you love that person.  we can all make a mistake.

However some people cannot find the forgiveness needed to move on, the pain and feeling of betrayal is too much.  If you do decide to forgive only time will tell whether you can get back the trust you previously had.

Answer 24

I don't think it is for me to judge them.  It is their choice to live their lives as they see fit.  People are not perfect.  Infidelities by both men and women happen all the time.  Ultimately, it is up to the "victim" to decide whether it is worth it to stay in the relationship or not.  Only she can decide.  If I see her as weak or misguided or a martyr, that's my issue, not hers.

Answer 25

In the case of Billary, it was all a matter of a craving and lust for political power.   She was quite willing to deal with it; thinking it might be to her advantage in her quest for the liberal wacko nomination for president.

Answer 26

Everybody decries the 50 per cent divorce rate but then again we have reports that 50 per cent of men cheat.  The majority of answerers on here stated that they would leave a wandering spouse.  I don't know that I would.   To some people the commitment means more than the insult to the ego.    

Answer 27

I think "weak" is a bit strong (excuse the pun).  But I think women who stad by their men after that ar often afraid to be alone.

Answer 28

typically a man who cheats once is going to cheat twice,and anyone who is going to stand by and let it happen is very misguided

Answer 29

Having a few male friends in this situation where the wife cheated, I personally consider them weak. No different in the situation in your question.

Answer 30

It all depends. If they can find the cause and are willing to work it out great but if the partner is not willing to change it is as you said sad.

Answer 31

Misguided.

I will tell you this though. Studies indicate that men are more likely to forgive than women when it comes to cheating.