What is your opinion on featuring children on television available for adoption?

Question

On Wednesdays on Fox 11 News a child in the foster care system is featured as available for adoption.

You can then go to the DCFS LA County Department of Human Services website and download a pdf on the child to pursue an adoption for him/her.

http://dcfs.co.la.ca.us/adoptions/index.html

My question is:

What is your opinion on featuring children on television available for adoption?

Answer 1

Advertising CHILDREN?!  I don't like it.  Do the kids get any say in whether or not they get featured?

Answer 2

I think it is good to raise awareness of children in foster care.  It helps to put a name to a face - sort of like those sponsorship programs in other countries.  If the goal is to find a home for the child, and the program succeeds with doing that, is it really a bad thing?  I'm confused.

Answer 3

They even have foster children on the internet! I don't know, I guess they figure they are giving these children exposure that they wouldn't otherwise have. I feel it's a little icky, the kids are told to probably ham it up for the cameras so someone takes notice of them. I hope there are people out there that have considered adoption without having to see it on their news station or computer. I was adopted in the early 80's when neither was available.

Answer 4

Is it not possible to do a feature outlining some basic (and non-identifying) details about each child's case and need for adoption?

I understand the need to create awareness of children who need stability, but that just sounds too much like home shopping.

Answer 5

When I first moved to a province that did that I said ewwww....it just felt wrong.  When I asked the social worker about it she said that the children who are placed there are children whose parental rights have been terminated and the children have been waiting for a parent for a long time, or they are considered "hard to adopt" due to either age, special needs, size of family etc. etc.  She also said many people have phoned in about specific children who have touched their hearts and they start process (long process!!) to adopt them.

So I guess there are two sides, one is child privacy and dignity, and one is ability to find child permanetn home.

I still get icked out, but I guess I understand more.  If we had not adopted the three children, they may have ended up on there because not many peopel taking three children.....so I would not hae wanted my children to go without a family.

Hard question though....

Answer 6

Sad.

I think that these kids are nearing the end of their time to be "outed" and don't have anyone / home when they turn 18. I know what's it's like to do anything just to have someone to take you in.

I think that it is like the other poster said, "a necessary evil".

I wish fervently that when people say "I want to adopt", that in their hearts they were doing it to help a child. I wish that people would think of looking into adopting foster children that haven't got ANYONE as their first option. I don't have alot of sympathy for people who complain about how much adoption costs and how long they have to wait to adopt, and then they reveal that it's because they want a newborn.

I'm really struggling with trying to put my thoughts into words. I wish these children the best.

ETA:

I think  *********** "MOM5Grlz" *****************  gave a very insightful answer.

Answer 7

I feel it's commercializing the children.  I am actually 50/50 on the issue.  

If it were international children several people in YA would be bashing it to no end.  If it were healthy babies, several people in YA would be bashing it to no end.

Answer 8

I asked a similar question to this back in December when they ran the "Home for the Holidays" program on television featuring children in foster care who needed homes.

While I do agree that there are some privacy issues that need to be of concern and it seems almost like children are being "advertised" for adoption, I also think that anything that can help educate the public about the waiting children in foster care who need permanent loving families could be a good thing.  I'm sure there are children who would do just about anything to have a family especially if they have been in the foster care program for a long time.  

I guess as a mom of a special needs child, I do not find any more offense with these types of programs than I would with a telethon for MDA, etc.  Both programs are trying to raise awareness of things so that in the end, the children are the ones who benefit.  

And because it is foster care and not a private agency who is just looking to "make money", I do feel better about the program as I want to believe it truly is for the benefit of the children.  

Just my 2 cents.

Answer 9

The whole world is ran by the media, so that would seem like the logical thing. If you are concerned about the child being humiliated, look at where his life is now. Nobody says anything about the commercials for starving kids in Africa and South America. They wave that in our face, and as a normal human reaction we feel the need to help. Sometimea America overlook their own, charity starts at home.

Answer 10

Home shopping club anyone? Gosh Pa they even got youngins' on there.

I wouldn't like to me marketed on TV. I wonder what the kidos think?

Answer 11

I have a website and the second most popular page is the one that list children who are available for adoption.

http://www.adoptive-parenting.com/waitin...

Do I find that deplorable? NO!!! These children need homes and the people who are looking at these pages are those who want to create (or expand) their families through adoption. (Yes, the websites that list infants for various prices is disgusting...however, look at my links. These are children most older - who know that they are alone and want to be in a permanent family). I actually look through the list myself and pray for the children I see. These faces stay with me and remind me there is so much more that could be done for our kids.

I wish that they would create a program for the families as well!! That way Social Workers could view the families whose hearts are open to loving an abused, abandoned or orphaned child.

Answer 12

i wouldnt do that i would put them on the web site cause you dont want people on the street to go oh look its the kid without a family. and you dont want them to get made fun of so i think its wrong for them to put kids on the tv

Answer 13

Its creepy. I understand why they do it but its just creepy.

Oopsydaisy: there have been shows like this in the UK. I've seen them. There was a series of them at one point. One episode featured one little girl who had been through an adoption disruption, they interviewed the would-be adoptive mum too. It was kinda interesting, because I was considering going into that area of social work, but it was depressing. I don't know what happened to the kids featured on that show but I hope they're ok.

Its difficult. I understand the children need to be "advertised" for people to know about them & hopefully encourage more people to foster and/or adopt. But still I hate the idea of advertising children whether its on TV, or pictures at "adoption fairs" or whatever they're called or online profiles of kids available for adoption. Whenever I see or hear anything like that, I just want to take all the kids away and keep them safe.

Answer 14

Sadly it is a necessary evil.  There are so many kids in foster care even if you are a licensed adoptive parent it is hard to find a kid even if you are willing to accept kids with special needs.  You get a worker who's job it is to match kids with your family based on what you requested space etc.  However they are over worked and have to do this for more families than is humanly possible.  In the classes you have to take before hand they tell you have to be proactive in finding your child. They have adoption picnics  where foster parents bring kids who already have the rights terminated and only licensed prospective adoptive parents can go not strange people off the street.  You  see a kid you like you tell their foster parents and your social worker who then starts the process of slowly introducing the child to your house to see if it is a good match.  The TV and Internet are the same way.  Nothing incredibly personal is given on there.  Like my first sentence said it is a necessary  evil without it more kids will age out and never have a permanent home

ETA  Also the comericals make some people want to adopt from foster care.  When we did our classes many people where there because of seeing a child  They know that by the time they are throw with the porcess that child may be gone but they will get another one.  In my city they also put kids in the news paper.  Usually though large sibling groups that they don't want to sperate like 4 or 5 kids

Answer 15

I just wonder about the long term effects...seems kinda strange. What should be done on TV is every state should have one station up and running 24/7 for missing children and adults instead of the disgusting missing magazines that make money off of attorney ads. * I'm off the path here, just wanted to say that.

Answer 16

As far as child privacy, usually they don't give the childs real name on television, and the child is old enough to agree to be put on television. (10+) Most of those kids are the ones who really really need and want homes, and if it will help them find a home I'm all for it.

As i see it, its a little bit like searching for a lost person. When you lose a family member you put there picture up for the world to see so you can get the person back, only its in reverse, your putting your picture up so you can find your (albeit new) family.

Answer 17

I think its a form of mental abuse to be honest. Why exploit those poor kids and build their hopes up? That could really mentally scar them.

Its discusting. I am so glad nothing like that is shown over here in england, the government would have uproar on there hands!

Its vile.

Answer 18

the first time i saw that online i was really freaked out. its not the info its the pics like ppl are online shopping for a cute kid. but i guess if you think about it it is good to get the pics out there and someone who is maybe considering international adoption or only want an infant might look just for fun and fall in love with an older child. i do think that showing there pic on the news is a bit to far everyone sees that not just potential parents.

Answer 19

i think it's deplorable.  it reminds me of a pet store.  yet, i find it very interesting that this is even required, since there are purportedly so many people who want children...

ETA:

gersh...i'm glad this is still open.. i actually spoke to my husband about this and we had a very emotional conversation.  ironically, i never knew that he was deeply offended by the "home for the holidays" and "wednesday's children" programs.  hence, his opinion was this:

"this S**t reminds me of a slave auction!"  

i agree 100%

Answer 20

As a former foster kid, I applaud the efforts the states are making to find these kids loving homes.  Ask any of those children who understand what is going on, and they would probably beg to be featured on a show even if there was only a slight chance of finding a permanent home.  

Unless you have lived life as a foster kid, you just wouldn't understand.

Answer 21

I don't like that they involve the children, I'm sorry.  If they need to show children to put a face on that, they should do children who have been adopted who wish to talk about how happy they were.

They could do stories about the need without putting children on there like pet of the week....plus, there is something potentially dangerous about it that scares me.

I REFUSE to take children to adoption fairs and such...first off, my children are not dogs from the local shelter to be taken to Petsmart in the event that someone happens by....

Secondly, it is so hurtful for the children, it is more in their face...no one wanted you again.

I think it is great to get the message out there that there are children who need homes and to try and put a personal face on it, but to exploit and cause further hurt is awful!

Answer 22

Hi Gersh,

I feel it's exploiting the most vulnerable children in society.  It's invading their privacy, it can chip away at their self-esteem & dignity.  It's humiliating, and the ads on tv or internet can be around forever to permanently come back later to offend them at any time in their life.  The picnics sound even worse since the rejection is much more personal.  As children, the full impact might not have hit them yet.  It will at some time.

Another problem with these offensive tactics is that they commodify children so they appear to be merchandise like on the shopping network.  It is wrong to select children based upon their looks.  That is way too high of a price for any child to have to pay!  Parents of biological children take what they get, there is no previewing and deciding first.   Adults should ask themselves, would YOU like to be available and presented that way for the world to choose or reject you?  

We could just as easily make TV spots for screened, prospective parents, and they can show their faces and homes to the world.  They could talk about what a family would mean to them, etc.  Then let the children privately watch them and then choose for themselves where they would like to live.  I really don't think adults would want their privacy violated in that manner, yet few would think twice about doing that to a child.

I do not believe that is the only way to find homes for children.  We can and should do better for children.  Seriously, I think that general public messages inviting people to apply to adopt from foster care is fine.  Luring them with actual parentless children is not.  Thanks for asking.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 23

Sad.   I know someone who attempted suicide as a kid after being featured on one of those shows and was not 'picked'

Answer 24

My gut reaction is that its inappropriate.  As a mother i would not post pict's of my kids for the general public.  The word pedophile comes to mind.

I understand the need to get the word out there for waiting children. I would think there was a way to do it without the child's knowledge.  That way the child wouldn't feel let down if they don't get any responses.  I think just giving non-identifying info would be fine, then if someone is interested they can then see a photo.

Answer 25

It sounds humiliating to me. But I've not gone through life as one of these children so I can't say. Many times their circumstances are desperate so perhaps they find hope in that. On the other hand they do the same thing with pets and that's the part that disgusts me.

Answer 26

OMG, that is so sick, and such a total invasion of privacy. Imagine 20 years later you view yourself there.  Would you not feel totally violated?  OMG, like I'm a freak or something.?  That's totally disgusting and a total invasion of an innocent child's privacy.

Answer 27

It is called Wednesday's Child and it's been going on since at least 1983 in different areas' of the countrty.....  

These children are not profiled aggainst their will--they Want parents and this is one of the last ways to get the word out.

***ETA:  Besides most of these children profiled on Wednesday's Child want to be adopted--and want to have families...These children know that being part of a family has to be better then being Nobody's Child... They are usually part of a Sibling Group or an older child that has Never been picked by the families wanting to adopt. I guess some people would rather these kids grow up like my Uncle and wonder why they don't matter to Any One.... That they are not valuable enough to be the most important to any one.... So lets just pretend they are not out there....by the thousands...living a random life everyone can't bare to look at and consider....Let's just silence one of the only ways these children have a voice...and make themselves known to those who might actually have the nuts to love a child who No One else wants--and too many people can't even bring themselves to look at...... These children are profiled because the STATE is their parent... The Tax payers make sure their needs are hardly met.... If someone can't stand this going on then maybe they should make a difference--and find a way to help these children rather than let them suffer as No Body's Kid until they grow up and move on...to lord only knows what kind of a c**p life.... I honestly can't understand why anyone would rather silence the voice of these kids...but, apparently being adopted is sooooo bad to some they would take it away from others.

Answer 28

My answer a few weeks ago would have been very different that my answer now.  I'm still learning so it might be different again in a few more weeks.  I definitely get the point about how it would make the child feel.  As far as the baby shopping part, I think they only do that with children who don't have a lot of options left.  And, they are really hoping that someone will care enough to want to give them a loving home.  

I still think that the biggest problem with the way agencies handle adoption is that they are not being honest about the problems that lie ahead for the child. PAPs, as a rule, do not have clue about what the adoptee goes through.  I know, because I have learned a ton of stuff in the last few weeks that I never dreamed of before.  PAPs are being fed a fantasy that all they have to do is open their homes and hearts to these children, and their pain will magically disappear.  

If a child has no real options left but adoption, then it's great when a loving family wants to adopt them.  The key is for them to understand from day one, that this little child needs to have lots of help dealing with all the issues that go with being adopted.  Pretending that adoption erases the past and everyone starts from there with a clean slate is not only a fantasy, it's harmful to the child in all kinds of ways.

Answer 29

if that kid gets adopted then how great is that.  you already have a home why do you want to keep someone else from getting one  just cause it hurts ur feelings?

Answer 30

I understand their motivations. I believe they are trying to reach a broad audience in order to find this child a family, however, it does give me pause, like we are trotting out humans like puppies or beauty queen contestants.

I am going to an adoption conference on Sunday where they will have pictures and info on all the children available for adoption through Children's Aid. I feel this is more appropriate as the people going to the conference are already serious about adoption as opposed to someone watching TV who says: "Hey, that kid's cute."

Adoption, particularly from foster care has an extra layer of issues and should be researched carefully. I think the "seriousness" may be lacking when broadcast on TV, The do-gooders yet know-nothings might come out of the woodwork

Answer 31

I think this is a great idea.  Not to mention they do it with adoptable animals as well...so are children not as important?  Oprah did a puppy mill story yesterday and posted a lot of pictures of animals with sad faces.  Why not have a tv show about children?  Someone might fall in love with their "puppy dog" eyes and want to adopt them.