What is your opinion on kids rewards programs.?

Question

rewarding your kids for good behaviour. Do you think this is a good idea, or bad idea? why?

Answer 1

giving them actual gifts or whatever is bad. they should be good just because. what you can do is give plenty of positive reinforcement for good behavior and limit the attention you give them for bad behavior. kids will repeat a bad behavior if it gets them a lot of attention. with my son, i say i am disappointed or whatever ONCE. and let it go. he almost never is a repeat offender. kids like praise, so just telling them how good they are and how great and polite and darn it, people like them! is the best you can do.

Answer 2

I do not believe in rewarding children with things when they do something well or good that is expected of them all ready. Praise is appropriate enough.  If the child however does something above and beyond the normal expectations and excels at it, then yes, rewarding that additional effort and well done area is appropriate.

The reason I don't believe in rewarding for every little thing or every thing that should be an expectation all ready is because kids don't need to think that just because they wake up in the morning and smile that they get a reward for it and are entitled to something.  I also think that by not rewarding them continually for every little thing they do teaches them to appreciate it more when they do get something special out of the ordinary.  It becomes something special and privilege then rather than "oh you blinked. How wonderful. Here's a reward".

Answer 3

It depends on the circumstances.

Many classrooms now offer rewards for just being good. (they have color cards, green, yellow, orange, red. Green being good, red= call the parents)

So just by staying on green there is a toy jar or a sticker or some reward.

I DON'T like this idea. I expect my kids to be on green ALL the time, everyday. I am not going to hand out rewards for doing whats expected, a standard.

Teachers set the bar too low.

I DO like to do special things for my kids because they are good over all. If they ask me for something they can generally have it because they are doing well.

Why do we expect kids to be bad and then shower them with stuff for being good once in awhile?? its gotten sooo backwards!

Answer 4

Bad.  Kids need to be taught that the reward for good things is feeling good.  There isn't going to be a star system or a prize box at their job when they are an adult.  Kids these days are getting to the point that unless they get something for what they do, then they don't want to do it.  That's because they have been rewarded all the time for doing good.

Answer 5

If you do it occasionaly, its a great motivater. But catch them by suprise, dont make it an all the time thing. I would just say something like "That was so great of you to ........) I would like to treat you to ..................... It makes the kids want to do go and learn that they can be rewarded for being the nice guy sometimes.

Answer 6

"Punished by Rewards", by Alfie Kohn, will explain all the reasons why it's bad to reward your children into good behavior, good grades, etc.

I personally think it's a bad idea for most children, it sets a precedence of working only for reward, rather than to get the job done. For some children, like my daughter with autism, having a reward system in place is an easier way to implement some behavioral changes, but the goal is to wean them from rewards as soon as possible, so that they are performing the behaviors without reward.

Answer 7

A reward does not actually have to be something you buy, but as adults we do get paid for doing ourjobs and lose out on things like a bonus or a raise when we don't.  My kids sometimes get money for extra chores, but they also get things like 15 more minutes with their video games, tv or on the phone.  Or they get to stay up 15 more minutes.  If they do a really good job with a particular chore, I will let them skip it one time with no punishment.  I will also give them more time t the park or an extra trip to the park, something like an extra piece of bread for duck feeding.  I try not to reward with food that can set kids up for feeling good when they eat and eating disorders or weight gain..