What is your opinion on the answer I received here...

Question

I was concerned about my 3 year old son saying he hates me. So asked for advise on Yahoo answers.I received a response about using word like "love" with younger children. I know they don't understand it...so is showing your love enough or is telling them you love them correct. Here is a portion of the answer I received that I want your opinion on:

"You do realize your son doesn't understand what the word hate means, right? Nor does he understand love (Why parents tell children how they feel, I will never understand.) If you want him to use less "hurtful" words then don't teach him such strong words to start with (or keep him off the telly if thats your style of parenting.) "

Answer 1

Someone is a sociopath.  The person that sent you this answer must really be miserable.  I tell my kids from birth to adulthood that I love them, as babies they knew what i meant.

Answer 2

My daughter is only 4 months old and I can't show her or tell her enough times in one day how much I love her!  She may not understand what I say or do... but her smiles and giggles tell me she feels it.

This person obviously grew up never knowing proper love.  I wouldn't take their response seriously.  

Answer 3

Children at that age do understand love and they get the basic understanding of hate.  They know that hate means they really dislike something or someone but they just don't know how bad it can hurt someone.  You should always tell your children you love them as much as you want because it is great for them to hear it, you should also make sure to show them how much you love them too.  Let them know that the word hate is hurtful and that it makes you very sad.  

Answer 4

I don't personally like or agree with this answer.  I believe love should be shown and used as a word.  Kids at 3 yo know if they like or don't like something and may not fully understand but will learn the difference int he strength of the emotion behind those words.  They won't learn that unless they hear the words though.  That being said, I don't use the word hate and do not want my children to.  I might say it hurts my feeling to hear that and we use kind words even when we feel bad, of course then you have to also.  

Growing up in emotionally restrictive house with no strong feelings or outlets of emotion is not a healthy thing

Answer 5

Whoever wrote that answer is a fool.

My 2.5 year old says she loves me, her dad, ice-cream - you name it. She may not be able to articulate or break it down but she knows it means GOOD. She also knows hate. And to make a snide remark assuming you are a TV parent is just insulting and completely unnecessary.

All that said, in response to your first question, try not to be concerned with your 3 year old saying this. At this age they are just learning that they can assert themselves, yet don't have the verbal or mental ability to be able to display it - he is just using whatever he DOES know in order to feel in control.

It is normal, all my kids have "hated" me at one time or another and I always just respond with saying that they are allowed to be angry at me but that it is not ok to speak to me like that.  

Answer 6

i think that's a really bad answer. How else are kids going to learn unless they are taught?? My daughter ( 3 yrs old) comes running to me with a big smile and gives me ( or another family member ) a hug and says "love you". well the emotion she shows with it proves to me she's happy ! Of course they will pick things up from tv, nursery etc,  thats life. I always tell my kids i love them, because quite simply i do!! Kids know if they like or dislike something like a banana or something, hates a stronger form of dislike isn't it?? Well i honestly believe the little one's understand alot more than we give them credit for!!  

Answer 7

children DO understand love and hate. in fact, the only thing they know is love. they learn hate from other emotions like anger and sadness.  

Answer 8

uh children do understand feelings at a very young age i remember once i was bummed out over in all honesty i dont even remember what it was about and my nephew came up to me and wanted me to carry him so i picked him up (he was like 10months old at the time) and he made funny faces at me and everything to make me laugh and once he made me laugh he wanted to me to put him down and he started playing again they know words and emotions who ever said that was either dumb or doesnt have kids themselves. my nephew is 15months old now and he'll hear my hubby say eww i hate lettuce or whatever and my nephew was eating some salad (i guess you can call it salad at least haha) and he spit out the lettuce which he loves and refused to eat it haha so they definatly understand words and emotions  

Answer 9

My son is 2 and I know he knows what those words mean. He's known for awhile actually. That is just a stupid answer. Children learn language from us... why can't you tell them you love them?