What is your opinion on wishing wells or honeymoon registrys for weddings?

Question

I am getting married in March and we were considering having a wishing well, honeymoon registry or both. We have already been living together for 2 years and have everything we need for the house. How many people think this is a good idea and how many would be offended by this?

Answer 1

Have a look at some of the answers here. Its a similar question. It seemed to get some pretty bitchy answers.

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 2

I have been to a lot of weddings that had a wishing well.  Also-my husband and I got married and we combined two households of "things"  so we really didn't need much so family and friends just gave us money.

Answer 3

I really don't agree with anything that asks people for money for a gift, unless of course that is what they want to do and have asked you if that is ok. Having a card box for people to put their cards, with or without a gift card or cash in the card is fine.

And I really would rather not help pay for a honeymoon, either. It is my opinion, but I would rather give the happy couple something they need, not want. I"m a very practical person.

I would be ok with a honeymoon registry, as long as you also registered at a store, and I could go there and buy you something, and not contribute to the honeymoon. A friend told me you can register for gift cards. That would be fine.

Gee, I have 2 households here in this house, the contents of my parent's house after they were both gone, and my own. Even I can find some things to put on a registry if I were to marry! LOL. and I have been out of my parents house for a loooong time.

Answer 4

I'm honestly not crazy about them and I am someone who has just combined 2 houses of 'stuff' into 1 so I could certainly appreciate the "we have everything we need" concept.

I feel a honeymoon registry is just all wrong.  You shouldn't need your guests to pay for a vacation for you.

I'm a little better about the wishing well, but I think it borders on a request for cash gifts which I think is inappropriate.  But as you noted, it could be gift cards or physical gifts.

I'm someone who would be offended by a honeymoon registry so if that were noted for the bride & groom, I would either decline and send a congratulatory card only or I would go out and purposely find a physical gift to give the couple (registry or not) just to spite what I feel is their rude request.

I'm sure that this doesn't bother some people and thats OK, but you asked for opinions.

Answer 5

This topic varies greatly.

My fiance and I have a small apartment, and have been living together for over a year, so instead of getting the typical things, we got things we wouldn't normally buy ourselves, or extras.

We picked up some camping things, new flatware, a new microwave, a new vacuum, an AeroBed, very nice sheets, new towels, things for our pets, waffle maker, things like that.

My best friend who had a similar situation, did a "normal" registry and donated all the gifts to needy families in our area. (everyone knew this was going to happen head of time).

Answer 6

They're tacky, plain and simple.

Even if you don't intend it to, it comes off as greedy. If you are so blessed as to have everything you need for your home, put "no gifts, please" on your invitation. Your guests are not a source of income.

Answer 7

Registries are something that grew out of the idea that a husband and wife had to set up house when they get married.  It goes even further back to the days when women used to make all the things they would need for their homes, like doilies and quilts and so on.  Fortunately we have places like Bed Bath and Beyond instead of having to do all that sewing by hand!

Anyway, you don't have to have a registry for stuff for your house.  If anything, you may want to take inventory of what you already have and see if there's anything you might like to replace - are your towels getting sorta shabby and your bedding faded?  How's the condition of your bakeware and your pots and pans?  Store registries don't have to be restricted to kitchen and housewares, lots of people are putting other items on there.  Does your fiance really really really wish to have a 42 inch plasma TV or a radial arm saw?  You could also see about registering at someplace less mainstream for some really cool art pieces or accent items (Pier 1 has a ton of really cool stand alone pieces that could jazz up your house).  Consider getting even a small gift registry, because there may be people out there who really would rather give a gift than something else.

Wishing wells are intended for cards, so even if you have other types of registries you're still likely going to get cards from your guests and you'll need someplace to collect them.  You may get cash or gift cards, depends on the guest.  And it doesn't have to be a wishing well per say.  I've seen baskets, boxes decorated with a slot cut in the top, and my mother is planning to use a decorative birdcage for the cards at my wedding, if she can find one she likes.

I really like the idea of a honeymoon registry.  A friend of mine who just got married did this and my fiance and I are going to inquire about it when we start getting more specific information about our honeymoon.  My friend had the honeymoon registry in addition to gift registries so people had a choice, but for someone like you who already has a lot of the necessities for a house, your guests may be inclined to help send you on your awesome honeymoon.

Answer 8

Im having a honeymoon registry and so far no one has complained or said its wrong. Wedding in Jan 09

Answer 9

I think they are both fantastic ideas. These days people normally live together before marriage and don't need toasters and pots. I had a honeymoon registry but alot of the older more "traditional" people were offended so i also included your standard registry. put some nice, special things on there - ie. crystal glasses etc. That way the people who want to buy u a present have some idea of what u need and u wont end up with a million white platters.

All the best and I hope you have a fantastic day

Answer 10

I think there is no need to do this. Just don't register anywhere and people will give you money on their own. My husband and I registered and for our wedding, we got mostly cash.

Answer 11

Why not.  I'd toss in a few bucks at a wedding.

It's true those answers from the link that came from the 2nd answer on this are REALLY bitchy.  Times are tough and we all gotta look out for one another.  S%&t, man.

Answer 12

i loved our wishing well. sum 1 close to me put $50 in ours. go for it.

Answer 13

If those were my only two options I think I might be offended because you're basically still just asking for cash (no matter how cutely you word it). The bottom line is you should never tell your guests what gifts to bring you. I figure you asked this question because you're aware of the controversy around it. My suggestion would be to do a traditional registry (it can be small) and then to do the honeymoon registry. Use word of mouth to get the information about both registries out.  

Answer 14

It's fine to have a box for wedding cards - make sure someone is watching it at all times, though.

However, no honeymoon registry. If you two can't afford your own honeymoon, you shouldn't be expecting your guests to pay for it.

You should be hosting your guests to a wonderful day to celebrate with you, not being so focused on gifts. Leave it to people to decide what, if anything, they will give to you.

Answer 15

I think that is a GREAT idea.  People seem to have households pretty set up nowadays when you get married, that or aren't at a point where they want or need lots of stuff to clutter up their place.  I know I personally want to give people something they will actually use and enjoy.  If that is money towards a great honeymoon or money to put aside for a house, I am all for it.  

Answer 16

Are you wanting to do this in place of a wedding shower or for your actual wedding reception?  Personally, I would be offended by it either way.  If I knew you (and I assume your guests DO) then they know your situation and would most likely  give cash. Either way...remember, you can't put any gift requests on an invitation!  Where are you from? It's funny, where I'm from (NY/NJ area) a wishing well was always for the bridal shower and people would put little kitchen-y gadgets, or inexpensive household items in it.  I never heard of a wishing well wedding until I started reading it on Y!A.  

Answer 17

I would rather give  the  bride and groom something they want and if that is money or a contribution  to their honeymoon  then I don't have a problem with that. My husband and I had both been single  for quite some time when we got married and basically had two of everything and a  linen closet literally BURSTING with sheets and towels. We didn't ask for any gifts but 99% of the  gifts we did get were giftcards and  cheques which we put towards re decorating. The only time I have a problem with  this is when the bride and groom put a "suggested" amount to give, that has happened to me twice now and it got me so steamed I went and bought them a toaster instead !

Answer 18

Go for the wishing well, it's a great idea.  But I think the honeymoon registry is a tacky idea.  You shouldn't ask your guests to help pay for your honeymoon.  Just don't ask for expensive gifts, i.e. a plasma tv. That's just being greedy.  No one buys the expensive stuff on registries.  

Answer 19

whats a wishing well? Is it a well for money cards?

My theory is if people agree with you they will contribute if they do not they will go out and buy you another toaster for you to put on ebay. So do what you want . I personally will go wherever you are registered because i like taking care of the gift before the wedding because i do not want to worry about a gift on the day of a wedding.  

Answer 20

I don't think it's rude. Like most other people have said, majority of your guests would understand that you'd have everything. However, you should probably do a small department store one. We just did a small one in addition to our honeymoon one as the grandparents etc prefer to give something tangible. We did put an Ipod on the department store registry though :)

Answer 21

I wouldn't have a wishing well, but a card box is okay...most likely you would get cards anyway.

Honeymoon regsitries are generally seen as tacky.

Edit: If you do end up going with a honeymoon registry, be aware that many have hidden charges so look into them carefully.