What is your opinion or experience with Homeschooling, verses Public/Private Schools?

Question

My husband only went to a public school may be three years out of his school experience, and had homeschooling the rest of the time. There's certainly benefits from homeschooling, but of course those who have had it, lose out on some great experiences, like lifetime friendships, matriculating with diverse people and learning and growing with them, all the school activities etc. My husband has a certain innocence about him that I really love. The lack of exposure to some of the peer presure has made a strong sense of self within him. What has been your experience, and what is your opinion about homeschooling verses public/private schooling? Or even if you haven't had the experience, how do you feel about what each can offer a child? Pros and Cons on both?

Answer 1

I think you've received some great responses.  Here is some additional info for you to consider:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

Answer 2

I am homeschooling my 2 boys (8th & 9th grades) and have been for 3 years and before that they were in privet school, they have never been to public school. When prices rose we had to decide what to do because I do not want them in a public school at all.

I have always been a housewife so home schooling was a good option for us, we have picked a computer curriculum that the privet school used as well, "Switched On Schoolhouse" it dose make it easier for me as it dose most of the grading, and on a good day they are done a full days workload by noon, however it is still very time oriented as I am available for them as long as they are working. Home Schooling is the only option for us.  

We do make time for our sons to be in the youth group at church and they are very active, and are encouraged to play with the neighborhood kids too, so I do not feel that they do not have any problem with interaction with others.

Both my husband and I graduated from a public school, as we both know what the environment was, and the fact that it is not a very safe place for children anymore, it was full of drug and immorality then and has more than doubled now, that is not what I want my sons to learn.  

You have said “My husband has a certain innocence about him that I really love” so if this is what you love why not give your children the same chance.

Answer 3

I went to public school and I do have a lifelong friend but she was someone that also went to church with me.   So, using that type of logic, I would say that only people who attend an Independent Baptist church regularly, can make life long friends.  (smile)

We homeschool our son for academic reasons and it is working for us.   He is very social and learns and grows with a diverse group of people because he makes friends everywhere.

That is our experience with homeschooling.

Answer 4

home school is bad because the child learns no social skills

Answer 5

Homeschoolers don't miss out on lifetime friendships and growing with diverse people! They grow up with people of all different ages, ethnicities, philosophies, and ways of life. They gain lifetime friendships with people who, yes they may not be with every day of the week, but whom they spend time with *by choice*. School activities are no different from activities that homeschoolers may do together if they wish.

I think that public and private schools do however, have opportunities that may work well for some kids. There is easy access to more advanced-level courses, which, although they can be taken through private tutors, community colleges, etc., are not as easy to come by. These kids also interact with others their age every day of the week. However, homeschoolers interact with others who are not their same age every day of the week. Which is better? Well, which one will help them in the real world?

Public and private school kids may have access to school sports, but in many areas, homeschoolers are also allowed to be included in these. Homeschoolers can also have more choices when it comes to sports, since they have more time in which to practice them. They can take them through recreational or competitive leagues in their area or play sports with friends or family, or take classes and clinics through a local community center.

Homeschooling gives kids and teens a great bond with their family, with which they do everything. Parents and children can talk with each other. Siblings play and do activities together. How often do you see a 15 year old playing with her 10 year old sister? Family becomes (or rather, stays) the center of life.

Peer pressure can do horrible things to us. I see almost everyone my age (I'm 13) spending their time talking about crushes, makeup, and the latest fashions. That isn't what life is about!! Teens don't even have values, or else they don't have anything to do with what is really important.

Kids who are homeschooled can move at their own pace and learn about what they are interested in. What an idea!! Public and private schools cater to the needs of, maybe 1-2 students in an average classroom. They assume that everyone learns in the same way. At a traditional school, we aren't 'people', instead we're 'students' or pupils'. The teachers aren't there to teach us, they are there to make us memorize lists of numbers and prepare for standardized tests. Maybe you will occasionally find a teacher that really cares, but he/she won't have hardly any time to teach us to think and solve problems, since he/she will have to prepare us to make the school look good. But why should we?

Answer 6

Having been a public school student, I found no fault with sending our three sons through a fine public school system. Each graduated well, all eventually completed college , one thru law school and another close to a MS. The exposure to other peers, other teaching methods, different expectations all had a bearing on their development.Each is a success in his own field of endeavor so I have faith in the public school system.The work ethic of the child, however, has to be developed at home.

Answer 7

hi im 25, and my son is 7.... i took him out of school last november, and its the best thing ive ever done....it all depends on the child i believe, some flourish in public school and some dont... as for socialization, my son is in a great football team, we have a homeschooling group in our area, swimming, camping, everything!....i absolutely love everything about homeschooling, and plan to give my son a rich, broad education and will follow all his interests in depth, something you cant do in public school....i once read you need 2 things to be a genius... a keen interest in something, and lots of time....homeschool kids get that!

Answer 8

You go Glurpy!  You said it so well.  There is nothing else to add here!

Answer 9

I only know it from the educational point of view.  I was touch typing at age 6 and was doing 45 WPM by age 8.

I was schooled in music notation by age 6.

I was schooled in computer essentials (1960) by age 8.

I could read punch cards by just holding them up.

Answer 10

I'm not sure why if you homeschool you supposedly miss out on lifelong friendships.   I went to public school all my life and came out the other end with no lifelong friends.   I had 'friends' in school and it was okay but at the end of it we all went our seperate ways.   My high school had 2600 kids in it.  My junior high had almost 1000.   It was tough to make close friends.

My close, lifelong friends are the kids I grew up with in my neighbourhood.    Those are my kids best friends as well.  (We homeschool)    The kids we've met while homeschooling are great friends of ours - so, I'm not sure how the friendship thing mixes in.

As for school activities, we participate in home school activities

- band

-gym classes

- ski lessons

-golf lessons

- fencing

-various and many classes and workshops

- film school

- drama classes

- field trips

and many other things.

Each of those events are with a different group of kids so the diversity and richness of learning with other cultures and ideas is always there.  

When my kids get up to grade 12 they will graduate and walk across a stage to receive their diploma, they will have a banquet and dance if that's what they want to do.   They will not miss that.

I loved Glurpy's answer (as always).  She states things so well.  

Homeschooling isn't for everyone.  I make no bones about that.  I have friends that I pray never try to homeschool their kids - I love them but they should never do it.   Schools have a place in this world, just not for our family.

Answer 11

I wish I had time to give a more complete answer.  Although I've taught in private schools, I think homeschooling is far superior.  

Some pros include: you can go at your own pace; the student can go in-depth on topics that interest them; you avoid a lot of negative peer influence; and for a Christian, you can teach beliefs that you want your children to have.

Answer 12

I have noticed that, like your husband, homeschooled kids retain their childhood innocence, and there is less exposure to peer pressure and negative social aspects of schooling.

Having diversity and lifelong friendships has not been a problem either. We've been part of a very large homeschool community for years; more than 200 kids collectively, and about 100 active in taking classes together and doing activities together. They've grown up with their friends in this group, and new people are always in and out of it.  They get to take classes and go on field trips with our co-op with teachers, some of whom they've been taking classes from for years and others for just a few weeks to a few months before moving on to something new.

They're always into new and different activities at the library, community center or with things going on locally. We're always meeting new people or getting in on new things-- if I tried to list what we've been into over the years this post would be far too long so I'll just say that we've had some very varied interests and opportunities.

We're very active in our church community as well, which is very diverse-- one friend is a desendant of a US president, while a couple of attendees are homeless. The church is a UU church with Christians, Jews, Pagans, Atheists-- even a Hindu minister-- my kids get to meet and learn about people of all different beliefs and backgrounds in a place where diversity is respected and welcome.

I used to teach in public school, public schools I think appear more diverse at first because people assume homeschoolers all spend their days at home... but I actually think that homeschooling, in the freedom it affords, offers more diversity and more varied experiences than a school ever could, if a person wished to take advantage of it.

Answer 13

Where you do your schooling doesn't determine whether or not you'll have lifetime friendships.

I know some teens who have always been homeschooled. They have lifetime friendships. These kids have grown up together, seeing each other regularly, although it hasn't been on a daily basis. I find it hard to believe that they're more likely to lose those friendships than those who go to school.

Then you look at my mother--was always in the public schools, moved away after her degree and doesn't have a single one of those school friends as friends now. Lifetime friendships? I don't think so.

I could say more about your specifics, but I'll generalise. There's something to be said about this idea of "losing out" or "missing out". I really, really, really hate that expression. Why? Because no matter what we choose, we are missing out on something else. By living where I'm living, I'm missing out on living in a place that's sunny all the time, or missing out on living in New York. By having kids, I'm "missing out" on the freedom that comes with a childless life. By not having kids, I'd be missing out on stuff, too.

And so, the same goes for whatever you choose for your kids. By going to a private school, they "miss out" on choosing their clothes each day and whatnot. By going to a public school, they "miss out" on wearing uniforms and usually having a better education. By not living near Sudbury Valley and attending that school, kids everywhere are missing out on an education where they are in charge.

There's always something to miss out on. We've become so used to a certain format (public schools with their activities, social structure, etc.) that the general attitude has been that you must really be missing out on stuff if you don't go there. Well, public schooled kids are missing out on all kinds of things that homeschooled kids can do: flexible scheduling, go your own pace, many study subjects they want to study, being with family and more.

I *love* that you said, "The lack of exposure to some of the peer pressure has made a strong sense of self within him." There are many naysayers who come in here saying that kids who don't have to stand up to peer pressure at school will never learn how to deal with it. Totally nonsensical babble from a psychological standpoint!

Back to your actual question: my opinion is that homeschooling is as good as the parents make it. For us, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love raising my kids. I love being with my kids. I love knowing they're not getting caught up in the "fashion" (if you can call it that) at school, not living in an environment of competition within the classroom, not being treated like little prisoners who have to ask permission to empty their bladders or even get a drink of water. I love seeing the homeschooled teens we see fairly often and how well-adjusted they are, how open they are to various ages, how readily my kids talk to them (omg, that is something I NEVER would have done when I was their age!). There's so much to be said about our homeschooling experience that is positive.

I've said so much, I'll only briefly touch on pros, dependent, of course, on how parents go about it all: academic (for many obvious reasons), social (more coaching available, better social models available, mix of ages on a regular basis), family (kids are more family-focused than peer-focused, get to be together), other (better sense of self, more free time, less stress...). Cons? Imho, only having to deal with naysayers who speak from limited or no experience.