What is your opinion towards parents using a harness on their children?

Question

What about if they are in a large populated location such as disneyland/world, theme parks, airports or in a uknown city such as San Francisco?

Why are you against them?

Are you a parent and if so have you ever lost your child?

If you would like to share a story that would be extremely helpful.

Thank You.

Answer 1

i have twins and i have never used a harness,,,i think it is just laziness or inattentiveness.  my children never left my sight as toddlers. only time i would turn my head is when i knew they were with daddy (or another adult).  yes i was in large areas with them,,,we have a local amusement park (ceder point) ,,we have been to disney.  we have been to museums and places out of state.  i would take them by the hand and NOT Let ago,,,didnt care if they cried ,,didnt care if they struggled,,,didnt care if they screamed.  it is MY child and I was sure of where they were.  

sometimes it makes me wonder how i ever survived to be 34 years old....my parents didnt label me with a condition when i misbehaved,,,i got my *ss beat and grounded,,,,i was never on a harness,,,i ate things that today is considered a big nono.  i stayed outside for HOURS on end in the back yard,,or even went to my friends house for hours.  we played at the park,,rode our bikes without helmets,,,climbed trees.  i drank koolaid made with REAL sugar,,,and ate a ton of red meat (my mom was a farm girl).  i had my mouth washed out with soap,,and a few slaps across the face when i mouthed off to my mother, and you know what,,,i am a normal well rounded average adult with children of my own now. i have never been arrested,,never in jail,,,never been medicated,,,never did drugs,,,never drove drunk,,and never been in a fight.  

parents today need to take responsiblilty for their own kids and not rely on others or others devices to do it.  it is not someone elses job to raise your child or to protect them,,,it is YOUR JOB.

as for the my child dont like to hold hands or dont like his/her stroller? who is the parent,,put the kid in the stroller and strap them in,,,,it is NOT up for discussion.  same for hand holding,,,take them by the hand/arm and go.  it is not up for discussion.

Answer 2

OK i believe in them completely my son is 2 years old and i also have a12 month old son and they both run when we are anywhere in public i am also pregnant and that's hard enough  i don't think trying to keep your children from being snatched or running away from you and getting hit by a car or lost is a reason for people to think your treating your childlike a dog if they have that big of a problem with it they will be the ones that have to deal with their consequences later i feel much safer knowing my kids are right next to me and not being hurt in some way if your looking for a certain one that doesn't look so "cruel" i bought one at walmart that looks like a monkey and my other son has a puppy one they both look like book bags and they have a strap that looks like a tail for you to hold on to i bought mine at walmart.......

Answer 3

Harnesses absolutely disgusted me.... until I had my daughter.  Then I understood in a way I never had, why some parents choose to use them.

I can't bring myself to use them personally, it's a hangup I have and I just can't help thinking of the children as pets being walked.  I preferred, when she was little, to strap her in the stroller or hold her hand myself in crowded places.  But after taking her to Disneyland at age 2, and a trip to the airport a year after, I saw how easily a child could disappear if a parent were distracted for even a moment.  Not being negligent, but literally distracted by another person bumping them, or a suitcase wheel getting stuck.  I realized for people with certain types of children, those harnesses are piece of mind.  And who am I do deny a parent piece of mind?  :)

I'm lucky, my child is not one to bolt across a parking lot, or run (very far) ahead at Disneyland, or otherwise behave in a way that would worry me enough to put them in a harness.  But some kids are.  I still hate to see a kid in them, but now I try to assume that parent has tried every other way to keep their child safe, and is using it for a good reason.

Answer 4

I'm not against them but i would never use them.....unnecessary! Hold their hand or make them hold the stroller etc.

Answer 5

Wait... Like a s*x swing?

blowj

Answer 6

I am a mother of 4 and I know how scary it is for one to get away from you.  I have always thought the harness looked silly but if you are going somewhere extremely crowded, I think it's a good idea to use one especially if your child does not like holding hands or sitting in a stroller, etc.  You can never be too safe in my opinion.  Also, if you don't like the one that fits around the child's chest/back, there is one you can buy that attaches to your wrist and the child's wrist - it's not as confining anyway.

Answer 7

I prefer enforcing safety rules and teaching my child the reasons for them.  With a harness, the child learns nothing except to strain uselessly against it;  the minute s/he is without one, s/he is an uncontrolled monster again.  In most cases, a child who is old enough to walk significant distances rather than riding in a stroller is old enough to be made to mind.

I will grant, however, that there could be a circumstance in which an 18-24 month old must walk because a stroller is impractical, and this child might reasonably not be expected to master safety rules.  For this age, it might be okay.  We restrict children all the time, especially at this young age, with gates, high chair straps, car seats, etc., so although I personally would not enjoy the comments and stares a harness would be likely to bring, I can't put it in a totally different category.

Answer 8

I am against them.  Children are not dogs, they are not pets, and should be treated with more respect.

If you are unable to put them in a stroller or hold onto their hand to maintain their security, then the child should not be taken to that event.

I have lost my child in a split second, just as your question seems to be directed.  I panicked, and was in a state... However it only happened once.  I learned from that moment that the best way to protect them was one of the above mentioned methods.

When I am unable to control my children and protect them from others, I will not take them into that situation until old enough to handle it.

I mean really, if the child is young enough to harness, they are not old enough to enjoy those activities anyway and may be better off with a babysitter or relative who is not going.

funny about the mother of twins... I had 3 kids in 2 years (twins then one more) and I never, EVER used a leash on my children.

Leashes are not put on dogs to protect the dog, it is put on them to protect other people.

This is a good poll question.

Answer 9

I wouldn't use one on my kids. They know how petrified I get if they leave my sites and have known since they were out of a stroller.

I can't judge anyone else because their child could have a disability I'm unaware of.

Answer 10

I am a parent, and when I was with my nephew and sister in law (i am now raising him because she isn't a very good mom) we were in an airport and we both going to the bathroom and he was too or so we thought, and he took off and we couldn't find him, it was the MOST HORRIBLE FEELING EVER!!

I did use a harness on my son once he started walking/running off, with small children i recommend it especially in places there are a lot of people, I don't see anything wrong with it at all, what is wrong with keeping your child safe? it's not as if you have them handcuffed and gagged.  I think for their saftey it is an EXCELLENT investment.... hope that helped....

I do not think it is lazy at all, i think people have gotten lucky that nothing happened to their child, not all children are the same.  but for my son, it was a must.

and they can call me lazy all they want but they don't know me!!

Answer 11

I had one with my first child and I tried using it, but it was more of a pain to use so I just kept my son in the stroller. I got rid of it after that. Wished I still had it with my second child bc she is a WILD one...lol

I am not against them at all...

Answer 12

My parents never used a leash or harness on me, because I'm not a pet. I'm a human being.

I got separated from them once, at Story Land. I thought we were all going to the Polar Coaster (that was what we had agreed upon, so I thought). I was excited and was rushing a little, and got ahead of the group. I guess we got our signals crossed because when I got there and turned around to see who was sitting with me I was all alone.

Fortunately, my parents had told me what to do in this situation, rather than using a leash, because I knew t ofind a security guard who could call my parents over the PA.

Answer 13

I personally don't like the "harness" ones, but I really like the wrist band ones, wrap it around childs wrist and the other end to mom or dad. both wrists are equally attached, what's the problem!?

why people say that is like walking a dog is beyond me.... no better than teaching the child to come when called... "here boy, come here... good boy"

*sighs* bunch-a hypocrites.

Or when they say just put him/her in a stroller if they're prone to run off... suuuuure, keep them trapped and unable to stretch out... that's real poor and LAZY parenting.

If you need a wrist band or harness, go for it! safety first. there is nothing lazy about loving and worrying about your children and wanting them to enjoy walking around. lazy is letting them roam carelessly and/or sticking them in strollers all day. nothing lazy about ensuring they have fun and are safely by your side.

Answer 14

I don't judge parents who do use them, they are not lazy at all, they are doing what they can to keep their children safe.  Hand holding is a great thing, yes, that's what I do with my children.  However, autistic children don't fully comprehend the importance of holding mommy's/daddy's hand, and are quick to dart away into crowds or oncoming traffic.  

It's unfortunate that people are so very quick to say "lazy parenting" or "teach the child to hold your hand".  I challenge those people to spend a day with an autistic child.  

The stroller is great... however, what will you do with the older/larger autistic child?

I realize that I'm simply speaking about children with challenges, but I'm trying to make a point.  Don't judge, period.

meika, you are lucky to have a child who isn't challenged.  I'm sure that if he/she was autistic, you'd be singing a different tune.  HeartSIN, that's great that you were able to go ask for help to find your parents.  What would you have done had you been autistic?  KathrynP, would you shelter your autistic child, should you have one, and not take him/her anywhere at all?  Pathetic thinking, isn't it?

Of course children aren't pets, no parents think of their kids in that respect.  The use of harnesses are for safety reasons.

Answer 15

I have a 3 year old son who has never gotten away from me in public, and I don't use a harness on him. I guess I'm against it because your child isn't a dog, and that's what it makes it seem like, to me. People who really can't control their children might need them, but I find hand-holding works great :)

Answer 16

With our daughter we have a harness that we use in places that are unfamiliar to us and her. She does not always like to hold hands and absolutely hates the stroller so she wears her monkey. We have only used it about 4-5 times in over a year and most of those times were at airports when she was around 18 months. I like knowing that if I need to look behind me for something or if I need both hands for something for a moment that my daughter is going to be right next to me and if someone trys to snatch her I am going to feel the tug against the monkeys tail. I think people need to realize that we all have different parenting styles and what one person feels is lazy may be different to another person.

Answer 17

Personally I think it's a little unnecessary and just a bit ridiculous. if you can't keep up with your own child in a public setting, what business do you have even having children?

Answer 18

My opinion...is that it is none of my business.  Every parent has different parenting ideals, and different challenges to face.  I keep my nose out of it.

Answer 19

I think a toddler harness is fine.  Some kids are really fast and they can get away from you in the blink of an eye.  I use them on my kids, my mom used one on  me and my sister.  People compare them to dog leashes, but you leash your dog so it won't run off and get hurt or lost, why not do the same for your kid??

BTW, I have twins and it's really hard to control two toddlers at the same time.

Answer 20

I'm not against them at all. I have lost my child all three in  fact. You turn around for 1 milla second and poof they've disappeared. Almost had a heart attack. I don't have a harness but be on the safe side.

My best friend took a belt and looped it around her son and looped another one around her and VOILA she had him close by.

Answer 21

I have a 22 month old and I am against a harness.  This is your child not an animal.  I am also a  student studying to become a child psychologist and many of my professors are against it also, in fact we had a discussion about this recently in one of my summer session classes.  It takes away from their natural development.  I am very into Erik Erikson and his stages of development.  Stage 2 which is autonomy vs. shame and doubt 18 months -3 years says children should learn to explore the world.  They will develop independence if exploration and freedom are encouraged.  They will develop shame and doubt if they are restricted or over protected.  I'm not saying in Disney World, let your young child run wild exploring we have to use better judgement in these situations but you can explain to your child that this is a new place and they need to hold your hand to be safe.

I have never lost my child and I am thankful I never had to experience something so scary.  I teach my child to hold my hand in fact I hardly ever bring his stroller because we live in a walk up and it is difficult for me to carry it up when my husband is not around.  When we are out I tell him what a wonderful big boy he is being, holding mommy's hand so nicely while we walk, or wait for the bus or train.  When he tries to let go and run I tell him, big boys hold their mother's hand in this area.  When we reach our destination, the library or park, I let him explore.  I am not the perfect parent and I say this proudly but the harness thing I am very against I feel it can ruin them.

Answer 22

I personally think it is degrating. It is like treating your child like a dog. I have never used one and I have never lost my child. If I am in a public busy place I use the umbrella stroller.

Answer 23

I lost my child once recently, and am totally afraid of it happening again, but this is unnecessary. They aren't pets, they are human beings. I'm looking on a toddler safety website and there are really so many different options. I mean there are things to prevent them from getting lost. Then there are ID stickers, tattoos, cards, and bracelets. Everything under the sun!

Here is the website:

http://www.mypreciouskid.com

EDIT: And to the mother of twins, I have 5 children, 4 of them under the age of 6. I can control them fine, and actually have protection for them too.

Answer 24

I think its lazy. When my youngest was born, her older siblings were 2 and 4. They have all been taught to hold onto the stroller, buggy, or my hand in public. I've taken my kids on trips to foreign countries (can't get much busier than London) and have always kept up with them. If my husband is there, we split the kids. If not, I have 1 kid on 1 hand and 2 kid hands in my other hand. My children learned at an early age that if they tried to get away from me, I'd hold their hand tighter. Kids are smart and figure things out quick. If you teach your children to stay with you and keep a hand on them, they do just fine.

Answer 25

I know this is only a poll to see what people think, and everybody is entitled to their opinion, but they cannot remark on other people using them (as some people did). It is absolutely none of their business.

I had one when I was little and I actually liked using it! Even if I didn't like using it I now understand why my mum used it. When I have kids I may use it depending on how many kids I have and what ages they are.

My final opinion; they are fine but if you think that they are not ok then I respect that as long as you do not look down on people who use them.

Answer 26

I never ever wanted to use one and would always comment on people that used them until I had to go meet my husband when he returned from deployment.  He was on a ship and we were near water.  I knew I couldnt plan on keeping her in the stroller for a long time and she would want to walk because she is almost 2 1/2 so I used it then just as a safety precaution but I haven't used it since.  I can see where it is handy because it was easy to know she was at the other end the whole time.  But i think using them in crowded situations and such is fine but everyday trips to the mall or store I think that a child should be taught to stay by the parent or hold hands.