What is your parenting philosophy when asked by adoption agencies?

Question

My husband and I are in the middle of adopting from Russia. We are asked what is are parenting philosophy. For those of you who have been through the process what did you write down.

Answer 1

well when my mother adopted me she said that she had baby sat, was a day care teacher. basically it shows them your good parenting skills.

good luck and im so proud of you for adopting!

Answer 2

We were asked questions like "what would you do in this situation".  We sat down together and talked about each scenario and answered accordingly.  A huge theme that came up time and time again was, "that depends on the child".  We couldn't really say how we would react to (for instance) lying or a messy bedroom unless we know if this child has FASD, an attachment disorder, the flu, etc.  It would be different in every situation.  We finally ended up just telling them what books we had read (Positive Discipline is a great one, and Beyond Consequences is another great one), and explaining the basic philosophy behind those books.  

My husband and I have worked with troubled kids for years, and our parenting "philosophy" (if you can even call it that, since it's so fluid, lol) has come from that work, and what we found to work with so many different kids with different personalities.  The parenting has to be based on the child, not on a single set of rules or expectations.

Answer 3

I think the idea is  that you give your own parenting philosophy, not what someone else put down as theirs.   Don't you have one

Answer 4

As others have said, there really isn't a "right" answer - they want to get to know you and have a sense of your attitudes about parenting.

If there were a "right" answer, it would be pretty much what Gaia said - it depends on the child. They are looking for you to show some flexibility in your answers, some recognition that every child is different, will need to be parented differently, and maybe even receive a different parenting technique on a different day.

Talk about things and different situations with your husband, keeping this in mind. You won't really know what you'll do until you meet this child and are in the situation, but recognizing that you'll have to adapt your ideas to the particular needs of the child is half the battle.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

They are asking you what you think a child needs from his or her parents to have a good and productive childhood.

Just write down how you intend to bring this child up! There is no right or wrong answer here if you are serious about bringing a child up properly.

Answer 6

We wrote that our job was to assist the children to grow to make their own choices, to think things through.  To teach them how to think not what to think.

  What we honestly believe is that you can have a zillion different ideas of parenting philosophies and discipline, but really until you meet the individual child/ren you can't decide.  We have adopted three and each one nees a bit of a differnt spin. So flexible for me is the best answer.

Answer 7

I have never adopted, but I am a mom of 4 and have been told we have excellent parenting skills and advice.

I would say that you intend to raise your children to be individuals with love and attention. Each child has his/her own personality and needs - parents have to give children the kind of attention whatever each one requires to grow up healthy, happy, confident and able to make good choices when they are an adult - that's the goal! Your intent is to raise your child, helping them find their strengths, working on their weaknesses and ultimitely becoming a success in whatever they were born to do.

Example - I have 4 and I don't parent my children exactly the same. I love them equally and they all have their own needs. I spend quality time with each, support each one, but dicipline is different, the type of attention is different. Our son (10) needs us to physically play with him - like taking him swimming or playing ball. My daughters (all teens) need us to listen to them playing music right now, or sitting one on one to discuss friends, boys, school, etc... our youngest daughter is really stubborn and has a temper, our oldest is EASY to parent - she is a people pleaser and hates being in trouble. I have to adjust to each of them and give them what they need individually. If I didn't discipline our youngest when she didn't control her temper - just to be fair because I don't have to discipline her sister hardly ever - she would have major problems as an adult. I can't treat all my kids the same all the time - but I give them all 100% of my love and I'm here for them in whatever capacity they need me.

I think this is the most important philosphy to have as a parent - that you treat kids as individuals - what works for one probably won't work for all.  

Hope I could help!

Answer 8

I don't think they're looking for a "right" answer.

Just write what you expect your philosophy will be like

hopefully it's caring, loving, etc.