What kind of cell service can I get in Quang Binh?

Question

Because I've been locked up for the past 48 hours with no toilet, a sweaty Merkin, and only the cockroaches to keep me company.

d**n Quang Bang benders.

Answer 1

The cell service is a little sketchy because the cell tower is actually a wire coat hanger strapped to a rickshaw.

Your best bet is to tie two lychee juice cans together with a piece of string.

Answer 2

You'd be better off simply training those cockroaches to run messages for you.  It's kind of like carrier pigeons, but with roaches.  They'll work for crumbs and they always find their way.  You just have to learn to write really, really small, because they can't carry too much weight.

Answer 3

I'm breaking you out at midnight. Rotten bamboo is no match for a length of chain and a '72 Ford pickup truck. This is our town now! d**n these locals. I'll see you soon, my beautiful friend!

Answer 4

Everyone is working long time now  but there are two 5 year olds with snotty noses that will bring you your chop suey order.

Answer 5

I think you mean "cell service" like "room service," right? Just send the roach messengers to the public market and have them send you some frozen squid pops and an eel Slushee.

Answer 6

just focus on the relics, culture and people !!  lolol

at least glad to see you got the luxury accommodation,  enjoy, suggest you go a little more native next

enjoy and watch out for the, as far as I can remember, very, very large scorpions!!