What kind of decision is proper?

Question

My fiance and her family loves me, which is always pleasant. However, because they are worried for their oldest daugther, they have asked if we could get married in Manila when I visit there this December for two weeks; before bringing her back with me in January for good (although we will still visit twice a year). I thought about and although I would love to be completely accomodating in this request, it is something that we will have to experience three different times. The reason is because if we get married when I get there in december, then come back to America and get married in march of next year, then go back to Manila and marry again for the "grand" wedding; it seems a bit much. Like i said I love her parents and surely don't want to offend them but with her visa application just waiting to be approved and december right around the corner, i am faced with a complete extension of the idea of getting married. I would marry her a billion times if need be but I just think all that is just a tad bit much. Advice surely welcome. Thanks.

Answer 1

What!!!!!

Something simple in which you make seem so hard. The most important wedding is the one where it is all legal and in the US. So that has to be first priority. The wedding in Manila can take place after the marriage in the US. You save money and going back to Manila can be part of your honeymoon. By the way your not getting married to the parents your getting married her!

Answer 2

One option is a simple civil wedding in December. Just you, your bride, and her immediate family.  Since a grand wedding is scheduled next year, a civil wedding can be acceptable and would not take much time / effort to arrange.

Just research on the legal papers that you need to present for the civil wedding.  I believe there were good answers in this forum.

Edit : After reading Joe's answer, I withdraw my suggestion of a civil wedding.  Maybe the best move is to explain to your fiance's family the effect of a December marriage on the fiance visa process.  

Congratulations and Best Wishes !

Answer 3

Do what is proper, because you love her and honor her family ("Marry me, marry my family").

As much as possible, have a church wedding. Marry her before God. That is ideal and also because Filipino families are quite traditional (in a civil marriage, there is always an "easy way out" that is divorce. A church wedding tells the whole world how serious you are in sticking it out in this relationship to the very end, which is what real love is all about.

Whichever you choose, remember, it is wiser to prepare also for the marriage

and not just the wedding.

Good luck.

Answer 4

That family of hers just don't want to be cheated out of a big feast and some free food.  Consider also what does that do for her visa?  Based on what you say, I assume she will be having a fiance visa in December?  If you get married before she goes to USA that changes things.  They will require a new application for an immigration visa as a spouse.  Different type and different procedure altogether.  It'll cost you 2 years in waiting.  If you marry in USA that 2 years can be spent together while they process the "wife" visa.  Those things take a lot of time.  Its best not to mess up with that process.