What kind of discipline do you use to child that talks back?

Question

My son is talking back!! I coudn't believe it. He is 8yr old and don't want this to be tell tale sign of the future teens. Its horrifying. I didn't think he would be like that so ain't prepared. Please be kind and only constuctive comment. Thanks

Answer 1

i only have to look at my son and he knows he's done wrong!

the other thing that works is'do you speak to your teacher like that? no? so why do you think its ok to speak to me like it? i will not have you speaking to me like that again.show a little respect.i'm your mother, not something nasty on the bottom of your shoe.i dont speak to you like it so i dont expect you to speak to me like it'.show him who's boss.its all about respect.

Answer 2

It's simple.  Next time he talks to you in an unacceptable manner.  Calmly and politely, but firmly, say "I will talk to you when you can talk to me with respect."  Then walk out of the room.  Do this every time he is rude.  Trust me, it will work.

Answer 3

My 8 year old daughter has started the same thing- I have posted a list of words on the fridge that she is not allowed to use when she responds to me telling her to do something they are : but, I, Why, Well, Then.... you get the picture. She gets a star on the fridge for "good responses" and a minus symbol for bad responses- each minus takes away a star. 5 stars gets her a reward- shotgun in the car, go alone to the market with me, her meal choice for dinner. It is working but took alot of patience for me- I just wanted to smack her mouth out of shock! :) I thought only OTHER peoples kids talked that way! Good luck and God bless, hang in there mom!

Answer 4

i know its very controversial on here but i don't see the problem with spanking him. (by this i don't mean all the time and obviously not hard, enough to shock though) but when he well oversteps the mark its an option.

Answer 5

Firstly, talk to him and make him understand how 'hurt' you feel when he treats you that way. Using empathy can often work.

At the same time (or at a later date) make him realise that talking back is obviously quite rude and that he is CHOOSING to do it. He could of course choose not to do it as well. If therefore, he chooses to speak to you that way, he is also choosing to get punished.

Your punishments need to be something that he'll really dislike. Try taking stuff away from him that he likes e.g. computer, TV, playing out with friends etc. He should soon realise the error of his ways.

I don't know how frequently he's doing this, but you could also introduce a behaviour chart whereby he gets a sticker for each day (or parts of the day) as long as his behaviour is acceptable. If he reaches an agreed number of stickers per week, reward him with a treat of some kind.

Hope this helps

Answer 6

hiya. i'm a mum to an 8yr old and know exactly what your saying. when ever my boy talks back to me i make a point of not giving him any treats, i tell him first if he back chats me i will not let him have any treats. just telling him usually works, if it doesn't i carry out what i told him i would do.

he doesn't back chat as much as he used to as a result.

don't smake him for it, unfortunatly it's part of kids growing quicker than they should at times. kids understand what right and wrong things they can or can't do.

hope i've helped. x

Answer 7

A child psychologist sometimes are needed for kids to vent their anger they are expressing by using foul language. He is being exposed some kind of way maybe TV,conversations from kids & adults.Some child psychologist are free of charge start there first.Some people say they will grow out of this stage,this stage is too dangerous to wait and see if they will grow out of it,that's when it might be to late ,get help know!!!!

Answer 8

It depends, i try to just ignore most of it, because usually my kids are just trying to get a rise out of me.  When I find myself getting into an argument with them, I just stop, tell them to go to their room until they are ready to speak to me respectfully to me.

Answer 9

I smacked for talking back and they soon learnt it was best not to as I made it clear from when they were little that they were to respect me and listen to what I said without any backchat on their part or they would pay the price when I "talked to the tail" instead!

Answer 10

take every thing away tv everthing

Answer 11

take away things like playstation or telly he will soon learn

Answer 12

They all do it. Just don't put up with it; tell him what's what and take away privileges when he carries on. "Punishment" teas of what you like and he doesn't, absence of TV (watch News 24 a LOT), no PC/ console games ... early bed times... you get the picture. I also used to be rude back, or let his little sister thump him and not see it.

Answer 13

I take away treats - such as going swimming or to a party. It works 90% of the time and mine is 8 next month.

Answer 14

Ahhh the classic soap bar, the perfect punishment for problems with the mouth. just don't over do it.all you have to do is put the soap bar in his mouth and instantly it becomes quiet.

Answer 15

ok, i use to be put on time out, grouded or my most badiset thing was i had to stay in the baathroom for an hour with no lights or anything. tell him to listen like'' listen to me, shut up you are gonna..." make him do chous for the week dises,mowthe lawn, clean the kitchen, stuff like that!

Answer 16

my grandmother use to was our mouth out with soap theres a thousands of ways to punish a child with out slapping them in the mouth.. how about you try this give him some heavy text books about three of them and tell him to hold them up with his arms fully extended at chest level for about two or three hours he'll be begging for your forgiveness

Answer 17

I never really had this problem, but I think you might try just ignoring him for a bit and see how he reacts. Tell him that untill he can be respectful to you, he will not be treated as the 8 yr old he is.

Answer 18

Find a chair to make him sit in and it's 5 minutes for every word he says after you tell him this disscusion is over.  Make sure the chair is where he can't see a TV it doesn't matter if it's off he will still be tempted.  Also make it so you can peek in but he won't be able to see you so easily so you can moniter him.  Also you ca ave them read while they are in the chair.  But DO NOT make them face the corner because i HATED that no kids like that and that will make them even more mad.

Answer 19

You must teach him to respect not only you but also other people's  opinions. Encourage him to respond and question but teach him there's a right and a wrong way to react to situations where he's not comfortable.

If he persists in responding in an aggressive manner the form of discipline I suggest is a removal of privaledges/treats for a period of time.

You MUST stand by your word though - if it's for an hour make sure it's for an hour. Do not allow 'get out of jail free cards' i.e. 'go to your room and no playstayion' does not mean 'go to your room and watch telly'!!

Above all be consistant - you'll find that he'll soon get the message.

Answer 20

A friend of mine has been struggling with this.  She was using more punitive methods but she decided to go another route. She made a chart and if her daughter can go two weeks straight without breaking her rules about respect towards her mother, she can earn a webkinz.  

So just today she stopped me and said it is working really well - she was skeptical but her daughter really, really wants a webkinz.  They're about a week in.

I don't know what would be the equivalent for an 8yr old boy but you could give positive reinforcement a try.

Answer 21

well first of all try thinking back to what would your parents do to you when you were that age? its hard to compare this day and age to when were little, but now if you smack your kid in the mouth or paddle their little rear ends they claim child abuse. and they wonder why there is so much gang violence, and murder and all kinds of crime that did'nt happen as frequently 25 years ago, why not? because parents were allowed to punish their children the way were supposed to so that we knew better. as god says "spare the rod, spoil the child"! hey someone wanna pass that on to president bush?

Answer 22

First time my daughter talks back I say " Do not talk back to me!" then she stands in the corner ( stands facing the wall but not leanning against) for 6 mins (she is 6 and very sassy) after the 6 mins I tell her she can come out of the corner and that talking back or talking with an additude is not ok and will not be tolerated, the next time you do it you will have your privledges taken away. Which in our house privledges are considered friends over or going to their house, and all electronics ( radio, tv, computer)  

This has really cut down on the back talking. It happens every once and a while now but I usually dont have to punish any farther than the corner.

Answer 23

not an easy one, many people can tell you r advise you but none of them are there and see whats going on, you here on tv change your kids diet they eat to many e numbers yada yada the only advice i can offer you is be strong discipline your child and stick to your punishment but also talk to your child explain why you are disciplining them apart from that its up to you im afraid being a parent aint easy we just have to do the best we can best of luck p.s 1 more point always tell them you love them but im syre you do that anyway because you have not asked if you werent concered about and loved your child :-)

Answer 24

hi

tell him if he answers you back he will get his favourite things taken off him, no treats at all, he has to learn respect from you as his mum, if he does this when he's older, ground him, i did this with my 3 children who are 28,26,20 and they never answered back and showed respect to there elders, also good on you for asking advice as too many parents now let there kids rule the roost.

Answer 25

I agree, there is nothing wrong with a firm, spanking.  I don't mean hard enough to bruise, but hard enough to bring tears. If you have never spanked him before, it may take some time, but he'll get the message, especially if it goes with being grounded. My youngest son was 16 the last time I spanked him.

Answer 26

Don't listen to him/her

Answer 27

be sure you point out to him what he is doing I told my son once don't talk back to me and he said (that whats)for whats that backwards I learned my son needed to be talked to very specifically he was 6. so make sure you speak in terms he can understand like when I tell you to do something you do it and I don't want to hear anything else about it.instead of don't talk back to me. and be consistent.

Answer 28

Tell to have manners & respect .

Or have no food & no bed

Answer 29

Smack the child. They understand that well enough.

Save advanced reasoning for rational adults.

Answer 30

Hey, I talk back! But I'm a tween, but it's not too late for me to learn. My mom will ground me, take away one of my fave possessions, or even worse: NO PHONE FOR A WEEK.

You see, there are many things you can do, just remember to say what your child is in trouble for, and then punish him.

Hope I helped!

-Back Talking Tween

Answer 31

I would give him a warning who talk like that to me again I'm going to spank you. Does it again pull a ruler to his behind!