What kind of family jokes are you the brunt of, do you laugh, too?

Question

Stopped at a gas station in the black of night

the pressure of a full bladder awakens me

I pry myself from the entangled arms of siblings

we three asleep in the back bench seat

I make my way alone to the paint chipped door

with the picture of the lady painted on it

one quick glance at my dad's form

cast in shadows by the single bulb above him

while he fills the old Buick again.

I empty myself standing over the smelly bowl

legs spread wide, not touching skin to seat

the soap is too high on the wall to reach

so I hold my hands over the rusted sink

allowing water to splash them clean

stained linen towel in the shiny machine

too far overhead to grab so

I wipe on my pink pajamas front

the door creaks as I slowly push

and turn to look for the car

the car

the car is not there

my dad is not there

no one is there

but me

they left me alone in the dark

that night in Ajo, Arizona

just four I was as I sat upon

that oily stoop and waited

waited for them to return

an hour for every year it took

and during that wait

deep in my core

I discovered my lifetime

truth

I was

invisible

if my absence was not seen

how could my presence be?

The family joke, told with knee slapping laughter?

"Remember when we left Susie at that gas station and drove for two hours until we realized she was missing and had to turn back to get her?

Remember how scared she looked when we pulled up and found her sitting there?"

HAHHAHHHAHAHAHA

Answer 1

wow-i can understand the "invisible" and how could your presence be...  

Answer 2

Sue...i read this in admiration of your talent for capturing sentiment in words...and finished with a tear in my eye.

Because I have known just such indignance, being used as a reason for others to not have to face the reality of their own oversight. Such a wee babe often doesn't realize that they have any responsibilty for their whereabouts...THAT is a parents job,regardless of the era in which that child was reared....I don't see this situation as laughable,even being that it turned out better than it could have....I see a scared little face in need of a reassuring hug.....(HUG)...for you.

Answer 3

Oh, Ma....that's awful. This happened to my friend at the Canada/U.S. border. Your story should be in a book.

Answer 4

Very good poem of something so horrible to happen to you as a child. I wouldnt think it a joke either. I just read in the yahoo news that a child was left behind at an airport. She had four other siblings and i guess the parents werent aware of her being missing. Sounds kinda like the movie Home Alone.

Answer 5

Nice poem.  Just like any art, it is up to the artist to decide where it begins and where it ends.  

Answer 6

Wow! I'm speechless.

Answer 7

I loved the poem Ma

But I cannot find a d**n thing funny about it. In my place, anyone who tried to make it a joke, would be writhing on the ground if male, covering a huge freshly torn bald spot if female.

{shrug} Sorry but I don't find jokes about a child being frightened to be funny. But maybe that's just me.

Answer 8

Poems with a punchline are always hard to pull off, but this comes as close as any. The thing is, I think you need to work out the ending a bit. The story of the poem ends at the word "Arizona." Everything after that tells us Paul Harvey's "rest of the story."

If you found a new way to end this so that we don't have the expected "I was invisible to everyone" part, I think this would be transcendent. Maybe what you need to consider is the difference between the truth of the story, and the truth of fiction. By that I mean, sometimes what actually happened is too unbelievable for a poem or short story and needs to be reigned in. In this case, maybe we need to just see the child waiting with the "two hour" detail thrown in.

On that note, I think two hours is unbelievable. I believe that it could happen to you, but I think most readers would find it over the top.

But on the whole--this is really good writing. Thank you for sharing it!

Answer 9

I'm more the brunt of friends jokes, and yes I laugh as I am just as bad

Answer 10

What a trip, I mean, you took me on a trip. i could see everything, like I was there. The imagery was perfect. Thank you for that lovely poem and sharing your nightmare of long ago. You made lemonade out of lemons that life handed you.

Answer 11

OH! That must have been horrible!

We once left my son's friend at a gas station after a weekend at the cottage. Fortunately we only got about 1/4 mile! My son was laughing so hard in the back seat I finally turned aroung to see what was so funny and realized he was alone back there!

They were 12 then, now 20 and we laugh about it every time we see him.

The joke I am the brunt of is my tendency to get lost. I once got lost at the fair leaving the bathroom. My husband only lets me use metros now.

Answer 12

Very moving I am totally speechless this one brings tears to my eyes.

Answer 13

(((((((MA)))))))))

there's the hug that should have greeted you.

I admire you so for sharing this story with us...you are a h**l of a lady!

Answer 14

I can't imagine my family ever getting chuckles over leaving a small child (however inadvertently) behind.  

However, I have threatened to do that to mine once they were teens.  

Answer 15

Ma, It's beautiful in its horror. Any ^ critic should check their own work and credentials before making an asss out of themselves.

Answer 16

how scared you must have been! i've heard of things like that happening, but can never understand how it does. i don't find it funny at all. (very good poem)

Answer 17

Very good one. I can see and feel it. I'm glad that nothing worse happened to you while you were waiting and that you were still there for them to recover from their mistake.  

Answer 18

Brilliant, as always!

Answer 19

Oh, you poor thing.  At least you were found safe and sound.   I love your poem.   I am the brunt of most of the jokes in my family.  They think I say ridiculous and ignorant statements.  But, the joke is on them, because I say dumb things on purpose, just to see their reaction!!

Answer 20

I feel compelled to respond to this poem, as well as Lavareporter's answer.

First, the poem.

I reacted, I felt a stir, the words bled a bit, and the story is intact.

You elicited without the reader subjecting themselves.

Ma, Lavareporter has some valid points, especially when he speaks of Truth in Fiction.

But, ironically, the Truth happens to be that many readers want to know just how f*cking bad it can get. I suppose if the sweet innocent girl lept into the arms of her loving mother, a mother who showered her with kisses and apologized profusely and took her for ice cream and swore to HOLY JESUS she would never let anything like that happen again, well, that might be the predictable ending we expect, too.

Listen, sometimes poetry is a pile of guts and it's just too goddamn bad if it doesn't fit nicely into somebody's literary box.

Wanna know where the poem should have ended? The poem ends when you are done typing the last ******** word, that's when it ends.

Oh, and I don't think the apostrophe is needed on "Master's" when you listed your source, Lavareporter.

See, that would mean "Master is in poetry"

But I could be wrong, and that's the truth.

Who's your master?

Answer 21

That is terrible, yet the way you tell it is absolutely amazing. You have turned something tragically scarring into this amazing poem, i wish i could pen like you.

Answer 22

hahaha  

Answer 23

They left you?  You should be making fun of them.

I played a lot of violent sports especially violently, and still hear about it.

Turns out, "He was still squirmin'." is not an adequate excuse to jump on someone.

Answer 24

I talk a lot.

Yes, i laugh about it too ... how can i not?

Sometimes i even start the jokes ..... hey, i've got a great sense of humour ..... and really, i'm VERY funny.

xD

♥