What kind of gift to give to bride and groom?

Question

What kind of gift do we give to a bride and groom that we are already paying for our own plate at the wedding. 65 dollars a plate. the wedding is next week. the bridal shower is tomorrow. what kind of gift do I give her? I'm not cheap but we are already paying for our plate does she still deserve a give? if so how much for the bridal shower gift and how much in the envelop at the recption?

Answer 1

The purpose of a shower is to give gifts. It is expected, and if you are not giving a gift due to what you are giving at the wedding then you ought to turn down the invitation to the shower. Giving gifts is not about if it is deserved, then it would be an exchange or wages.

Gifts at the wedding are optional, although expected and courteous. Cash is considered to be a gift substitute.

Answer 2

You have to pay to go to this wedding??? OMG so not cool.. I would bring a small gift to the shower ( one off the registry if she has one) and only if you feel like it to the wedding. If I for some forsaken reason would ask my guests to pay to come to my wedding I surely would not expect gifts too that is crazy.

Small gifts-

gift card to store

wedding photo album

picture frame

crystal

candles

Answer 3

Let me get this straight:  Are you saying the bride & groom have CHARGED their guests to attend their wedding?!!!  Wtf?  That's the tackiest thing I've ever heard of!!  Now, if they didn't ASK you to pay for your plate but it's just something you wanted to do then you can't skimp out on a gift.  Afterall, they were willing to pay for your plate but you chose to pay for it yourselves.  

So, the answer is:  If they asked you pay for your own plates at the reception, then I would NOT give a gift but I would give one at the bridal shower.  It can just be somethings small like $30.  Every bride has smaller items on their registry.  Now, if they DID NOT ask you to pay for your own plates but you just did anyway, then you need to get them a wedding gift (I'd say $50) and a wedding shower gift as well.  

Answer 4

you don't have to give her a gift. but if you were giver her something for her house like silverware,plates,etc. they also have a dollar dance where you pin  money to the bride and groom so you don't have to give her a gift

Answer 5

To be brutally honest, asking a guest to pay for their own plate (at $65 a pop lone less) is the tackiest darn thing I ever, ever heard of. What do they think they're running, a society benefit dinner? If I was in your situation they would be lucky enough that I paid the $65 to attend the wedding. I understand that it's not suppose to be a "you-give-me-food, I-give-you-present" barter agreement, but to me it's rude to not really provide for your guests but still expect them to provide for you.

Okay, now that I'm thinking straight, give her whatever gift you'd normally give for the shower, but then don't give anything for the wedding. It seems incredibly fair to me because the $ you would have spent on a present now needs to go to paying for a dinner they should provide.  

Answer 6

Aren't they registered?  If they aren't...get them a gift card to their favorite store.  By a not so expensive candle and give that at the bridal shower with a card and the giftcard.

At the shower I just went to I gave the girl a coffee bean grinder then a giftcard so she can buy coffee from a store near her house.

Quote:  Wedding Etiquette states that guests have up to one year after the wedding to send a gift (which is generally accepted). C’mon now… that’s nice to know, but if you couldn’t figure out your gift during the engagement, do you really think you’re going to be inspired after it’s over and done with? We say it can be a little late, but try to get it there by the time they get back from their honeymoon or soon after. Otherwise, it will hang over your head all year! something later.

Answer 7

If you paid for your own plate then i wouldn't get them anything. 65 dollars a plate. and if you are going with a date i assume you are cause your avatar says " I have the best husband ever". i would not bring them c**p. simply bcuz you are already spending130 for food and i'm sure you gonna get a dress shoes, hair, manicure, pedicure, and he needs a suit. thats a lot of money.