What kind of girl does he think I am? if he talks about vomit, odors, black metal and war........ ?

Question

my friend's in jail...well i never really knew him but i started geting ot know him after he got thrown in.

the first two letters we wrote were very sweet. honestly...it was very sweet.

but we've descended to a level of darkness i never knew was possible!! i guess it's kinda my doing...like he kept it neutral to sweet, but asked me what kinda stuff i was into, and i was being honest with my answers and somehow led to us talking about black metal and war (which was alright) but he just seems to get angrier in every letter. like his tone has completely changed, he seems to get even more frustrated and talks about vomitting twice in half an hour and the odors in his cell and the unit.

iwhat could i do to bring ourselves out of this 'darkness'. it's just that i'm NOT COMFORTABLE with it. And i'm afraid he probably thinks i enjoy talking about that, and that's why he's completel y changed his tone.

but after all, maybe he is showing me his true feelings, that he is pissed off. then what can i do to cheer him up without 'babying' him?

thank you

Answer 1

Why are you even talking to someone in jail? Doesn't that give you a clue as to what kind of person he is? He has made it very clear that he has no respect for you.

End it now. It will only lead to serious problems for you.

Answer 2

be supportive, n put a brave face on. u dont expect him to talk about bunnies n fluffy clouds, hes in jail all he can do is sit in a cell with other pplz who have probably killed or hurt someone.

p.s u dont expect him to be happy n joying about the fact he is in jail , plus wat else is he goin to talk about in jail. not like they do much while in there.

Answer 3

He's venting to you. he hates the place he's in. Just listen and explain to him that its gonna be alright.. and he sees you as a friend.  

Answer 4

Tell him something s**y. What else would get his mind off being there?

Answer 5

understand that he is locked-up and there is nothing else for him to say except the things that he sees, be understandable and bear with him and be nice.  remember you are a friend and friends should be understanding.

Answer 6

He's locked up, he isn't going to be happy.

Not only that but chances are since he is locked up he isn't that great of a guy.  

Answer 7

he's probably just telling you about the cell.

sounds orrible being in there!!!

jus change the conversation =]

onto holidays etc.

=]

x

Answer 8

He probably is showing you his true feelings.  However cheering him up is not your responsibility.  If you're not comfortable with the situation your responsibility is to get to a point where you are comfortable with it.  From your description of the friendship you don't owe this person anything.  And your personal safety and comfort is much more important than his mood.

Make it clear that you enjoy communicating with him, however things have headed in a direction that makes you uncomfortable and you'd like to bring it back around to different topics.  Introduce some topics you want to talk to him about, but be prepared that he might not want to talk to you anymore, or might ignore your request completely.  At that point I would walk away.

Remember, it might just come down to you choosing between your comfort zone, your personal safety, and his mood.