What kind of illness do i have?

Question

it's probably depression. i can't stop thinking about helping sick people and i cry every night because i think the world is screwed up with all the chaos and because i'm not happy like i feel like all these bad lives are in my head playing over and over and i feel terrible cuz im not doing anything to save them. i'm also having homicidal thoughts and suicidal thoughts that scare me and i think that's my ocd because like of the columbine shooters and everything i always feel that i'm gonna end up like that and i freak out. i really do. i can't keep friends cuz i always worry about turning crazy or just "snapping". i also can't get over this pill past crisis. my mom and dad abuse me with pills and it makes me wanna kill myself. i'm all alone and im scared that i'll never be loved and i'll turn into a maniac. once again, i feel like saving the sick people the crazy people and i hate it. i just wish i could like help myself instead, but im confused.

Answer 1

Your mom told you you'd snap if you went outside?..Don't listen to her. Simply going outside/doing normal things will not make you snap. Your parents are saying you are sick which you aren't. Please let someone know about your parents. They aren't helping you at all. Just making you scared. About the wanting to help mentally ill people: There's nothing wrong with wanting to help people.

To me, it doesn't necessarily sound like you have an illness. It sounds like your parents are making you afraid, anxious, and them feeding you pills isn't helping it.

There are some good things about the world, even if at the moment it seems like there isn't.

You aren't sick, your parents are.

Answer 2

No offence but your parents sound like whackjobs... heh... I just keep my problems to myself except on the internet. Yeah I know I didn't help, but if I tried I'd probably just make it worse...

Answer 3

Depression could explain the feelings of guilt and is quite common amongst OCD patients. But if you are receiving the right kind of pills for your OCD that should keep the depression away. Maybe you should check with your doctor and adjust the medication.