What kind of mother raised you?

Question

Did she stay home with you, or did she work? If she worked, was it full-time or part-time? How did it affect you in the long term?

Answer 1

My mother was a stay at mom until the last of the kids (me) was in elementary school.  At that point, she became a teacher's assistant working part time mornings.  Once I was in 4th grade, or around about, she then went back to college, and got her teacher's certificate and has been teaching full time ever since (over 15 years ago).  

I enjoyed my mother being home, especially when I came home from school.  It hasn't really affected me in any way in the long term.  I was very independent when she was at home, and I am still independent to this day, career driven and successful.  

It was more the guidance of her words and her caring and approachable nature which helped me out more than the amount of time she was actually home.

Answer 2

My family is a pretty traditional Ethiopian family. My mother stayed at home while my father worked as an engineer, overall our income was enough to satisfy 4 children (myself included). I am 20 & the 3rd child, & all of us turned out pretty OK. However, my mom doesn't stay at home anymore, she works as a secretary (or should I say administrativ assistant) for our local public library.

Answer 3

My mom was a SAHM.  It was expected, since it was the 1970s.  I only knew one or two people who had working mothers. We were all jealous - even as children we could tell that our mothers were miserable.  That's part of why I work.

My husband was raised by a working mother.  He's much more independent, I think because of that.  When we dated, he made it clear that our relationship was a partnership.  He had no interest in a woman who had no ambition and no desire to work.

Answer 4

My mom stayed at home until after my little sister was in school.  

There really wasn't a difference between my mom as a SAHM and a working mother.  She was never very hands on either way.

We aren't outstandingly close as a result.

My fiance's mother however, worked from the time he and his sister was very small.. she was a teacher while they were in school, and retired and began selling real estate.

She is the most nurturing woman I have ever met.  They are all so close and she has always been there to take care of them or help them with anything they need.

I really have a hard time believing that whether or not you work outside of the home dictates what type of mother you will be.

Answer 5

She stayed home with us right from the time my older brother was a newborn. In fact, now that my siblings and I are grown up and 2 of us are married and out of the house, she is still a homemaker. But it was alot of work anyways. It takes alot of work to run a clean, efficient home like she did, cooking all the meals from scratch and stuff. She also homeschooled the three of us. That in itself is a full-time job. She did a wonderful job of it, too. We got a good education. My brother went on to graduate from college with top marks and he's now a successful accountant.

How did it affect me in the long run? Good question. From her, I learned how to run a home. She taught me many basic "survival" skills - cooking, cleaning, balancing a budget, that kind of thing. She taught me the value of being at home for your kids and being really involved in raising them. In the long run I'm so very thankful she made the choices she did. I now have a good pattern to follow, and I was prepared for many things when I got married because she had the time to teach me well. I hope I can do the same thing for my children - I'm already at home with them all day and planning to homeschool them. If i can be as good a mother as mine was/is, I will be happy.

Answer 6

my mom and biological father divorced when i was 4. they remarried a year later and then divorced again. she has told me that she wanted to make it work for me, but it just wasn't happening. she raised me on her own, with help from my aunt, uncle and grandparents until she married my step-dad when i was 8. they've been married ever since.

my mom is a wonderful person and has always been a great mother to me. when it was just she and i , she worked her butt off waiting tables to make ends meet. my biological dad never helped with expenses, so she struggled but i never went without. i never thought that i was missing out and she never let me know that we were struggling. after she married my step-dad, she stayed home for a while and it was nice, but it was hard on them because my dad really didn't make enough for her to stay home. so, i was actually happy when she went back because she was happier and we were more comfortable. she ended up opening her own business, selling it years  later and now works part-time. she also is my son's primary caregiver when me and my partner are at work.

let's just say, i appreciate my mom. i never resented her for her choices because i knew her main interest was me and my happiness.

Answer 7

She was not educated, only 3rd grade due to the Great Depression.  But, she became incredibly self-educated and saw education as a means to rise above poverty and wage-slavery.  She was passionate about rationality, even thunking her children with a wooden spoon for "stupidity".  She was revolted by stupidity.  She was an Army wife who chose to travel with her husband and family all over the world in an unusual life of, for me, 18 nations/cultures in 18 years, which deeply enrichened her consciousness.  She was always active as President and such of NCO Clubs, etc. and worked 50/50 to make a post-Army retirement business flourish with my father.  She was unusual in many ways, 6'5", gorgeous physically, a sharpshooter, anti-religion, a naturalist and extremely nationalistic.  She constantly stuggled with gender expectations, wanting to be a good traditional wife and SAHM, but was horribly hurt by my father's and brother's frequent sexism and put-downs.  My father's nickname for her was "Dummy".  She took to drinking and watching Wheel of Fortune toward the end of her life, attempted suicide and failed to report a fatal breast cancer until too late because she did not want my father to worry when he was experiencing a minor health problem.  I absolutely adored her but she favored one of my brothers.  On her death bed, though, she demanded that everyone leave the room except me and we just held onto each other to the end.  Her last words to me were, "Take care of your father."

Answer 8

My mother: The military Drill Sergeant. Didn't take any Bull from anyone and taught me to get my S***  together by the time I was legal age to leave home. After that "you are on your own".  The word mother has no real meaning to her, it is just a term used instead . Example: You don't necessarily call your boss by their first name. It is usually Mister Ed or something like that. Anyway that woman took all potential fun out of everything and living on her planet was hard work. She is considered a Bully. Thanks for asking.

Answer 9

My mother was a SAHM.  I think she was a great mom, but some of my friends had mothers who worked, and it didn't seem to bother them.  I was so busy with school activities that I wouldn't have noticed if she had worked.  We had enough money, and I never wanted for anything.

Answer 10

The kindest of all! She worked sometimes and sometimes not. My Mom always said" do unto others as you would have others do unto you", and "if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all". That pretty much sums up the kind of Mother I had and  am fortunate enough to still have today.

Answer 11

Always worked.  Full-time and more, she is/was an RN and was in the military for some time so she worked/s constantly.

Long-term: I don't have a relationship with her at all, never really did, we barely know each other.  Granted, there was a lot that went on when I was growing up so this probably isn't entirely related to her work, but I do think we'd be closer now if she had spent more time with me when I was young.

Answer 12

Married, to my dad who was an alcoholic and on drugs at the time. He was rarely home. When he wasnt bringing in money, she would work. We were on public assistance until I was about 12 years old. I NEVER knew we were "poor" or that my dad was an alcoholic or on drugs, until I was older and talked with my parents about childhood memories. I had a very good child hood. My dad got sober when I was about 10. Me and my sisters turned out fine. Decent grades, extra curricular activities, now grown up and married with our won families. Doing better than my parents were at my age.

Answer 13

My mom stayed home with me. and so did my dad. they did not work most of the time.

My mom was a abusive JERK!!! who took great pleasure out of hurting my dad and me. I never heard " I love you " and I was happy to leave the house. to get away from her. now she is alone.

It has made me a stronger person. it made me try and be a better parent to my daughter. I will NOT do what my mom did to me growing up. my daughter hears " I Love YOU " all the time. and i try really hard to be the best mother I can be.

So my mom helped me be a better parent in the long run. so I guess i should Thank her for that. BTW I know I sound BITTER I am working on it. God Bless

Answer 14

My mother worked full-time.

I barely remember her as a child. From junior high school to college I came home to and empty home and ate fast-food and processed foods like ramen noodles etc. I was a latch-key kid. I would be lying if I told you I didn't resent it. She didn't have to work. I was always envious of my friends who had moms at home with fresh food and a big smile waiting for them when they came home at 3.

Answer 15

My mom worked part-time at a "job" as well as doing volunteer work.  She managed to keep me on a fairly short leash anyway though. lol.  Her ability to "do it all and do it well" made me a very independent and strong person, although I'll never understand how she keeps such a spotless house and never seems to clean anything.

Answer 16

Divorced always working two jobs, but i could never imagine feeling more loved. it was about the time she spent with us when she got home. my brother and i had strength and support and a strong maternal bond.

Answer 17

Great mother. She was a pediatrician, and was always home in the afternoons. My parents do not have an easy relationship: both of them have very strong personalities, and they clash quite a bit. However, the children were always their very first priority in life, that included abundance of love and care. My mom had taught me about importance of the family, about the need for a two parent environment for the children to grow up in. She installed in both of her children healthy eating habits and need to keep our bodies strong like a well oiled mechanism. She showed us how to share of ones self by putting her family always first. And her biggest concern had always been a true friendship between her children. She never stops to remind us how precious we are to each other. Actually, she had taught me everything I know, and I love her for being a great role model for me and now my own little girl.

Answer 18

My mother had a full time stay at home job, there were not many peaceful hours in her day with father on the run after his youthful ways it was difficult for her to keep him sober long enough to be a good father but in those lean times of father present and kind. I did learn some things about marriage and survival and why tears come from my loving mothers heart.There was never enough money and mother still stood strong for her children. What started as a team effort turned out to be a one person job. There is not much glory for the sperm donor dad.

Answer 19

My mother worked as a psychotherapist for most of my early childhood. She generally put me in daycare. The daycare people were impressed with me because I didn't bite or hit other kids, and instead talked my way through problems (even with my limited vocabulary) :)

When the government started cutting funding for social work and psycotheraphy, and insurance limited the amount of time patients could spend with therapists, my mom quit her job because every time she was near a breakthrough with a patient, the patient's paid visits would run out. It was too hard for her to deal with.

I don't really think it had a huge impact on me. We have a strong relationship.

Answer 20

My mom had the opportunity to stay home with all 5 of her children, but chose not to. She felt like she was a better mother for having worked.

I, to this day, wish my mother had stayed at home with us. Our home would have been more organized, we would have had more time with her, and wouldn't have had to worry about who to call when we were sick and needed to stay home.

However, I think that all 4 of my siblings are well rounded, normal, and intelligent individuals in part because of my mom's choice to work full-time. So I really think it's a personal choice.

Answer 21

When we were young she stayed home with us. When we got older she went to work part time - but only the hours we were in school.

It made a big difference to me. I always felt I had someone to turn to. But, we did not always get along - that came with age and time.

It encouraged me to stay home with my own kids and like my mom - I don't regret that.

Answer 22

My mom was a single-parent and worked full-time to support my brother and I. After school it was always daycare for me, and I was fortunate that after work she still had energy to take care of my brother and I, make our meals and make sure all our needs were met.

She tried to give me and my brother as much freedom as possible and I always appreciated that.

We had a rough time when I was older, and didn't always get along, but things have settled down and we try to enjoy spending time together when we have a chance.

On the long term: As I got older I learned to appreciate how much she was able to do for us on her own and I hope to be able to provide love and care and make sure all the basic needs of my children are met if I ever have or adopt any.

Answer 23

I was raised by a clone of June Cleaver. She never worked.

Ultimately it really did not affect me in terms of what I look for in a partner. I have usually been drawn to a more independant woman. Not that I would ever change the way I was raised.

Answer 24

Initially my mom stayed home.  We were born poor and struggled my whole childhood.  Sometimes there wasn't enough food.  But it was fun; we were free to play outside.  

My parents were seperated when I was 11.  My dad moved out and over the years, we saw less of him.  Luckily he did stay in contact with us.  In my teenage years my mom went to college and became a nurse.  She was out a lot and my brothers and I were often unsupervised.  

Long term effects were that, even though I went to college, if I had two parents, my brothers and I would of been much better off.  We all would of went further in life, been happier, etc.  My favorite brother used to say that a lot and asked why my mom was the way she was (later on, mom rarely visited her grandchildren, etc.)

My mom was strong but unemotional.  She did her best in raising wild boys...but I never got much affection from her.  When she was growing up, she had a hard life.  

Though I became her favorite, she wasn't able to fully show love or her feelings.  That has affected me since I am sensitive.  My mom had cancer and never told us it was fatal.  Though I showered her with affection, she was never able to fight free of her demons.

The last words my mom uttered in the hospital did not contain the word love; rather they were a put down.  I had lost my career during my bitter divorce (my exwife called one of my bosses and i lost that job) and my mom mentioned that.  

I try not to blame my mom, she had a sad childhood.  She was rarely happy either as a SAHM or as a working woman.

Answer 25

She stayed home and homeschooled us. She was and is awesome! After dealing with all us she still loves us! My mom is the sweetest woman in the world, but she'll stand up for what she believes if she needs to.

Answer 26

When I was really young she stayed at home because that was right after she had my sister. Then when I was 5 and 6 she worked at night and slept during the day. When she and my dad got divorced she worked part time and then went to school. Now she works full time. I actually don't know how it affected me. She's great though, so is my dad.

Answer 27

My dad stayed home and raised me and my brother as my mam became seriously ill and then died. He's the best. He went back to working full time when we were both in school in order to provide for us. I was a troublesome teen, but soon got over that.

Answer 28

The first 12 yrs of my life my mom worked part time and took care of all six kids. After I was twelve she quite working, not feeling use-full triggered her depression, she spent the majority of her time in bed or drinking and being silly.

I would have preferred she stay in the work force and been happy. All in all I turnt out OK and determined never to repeat that cycle.

It was also the life her mother my Grandmother lead, they turnt into mirror images of each other. Once vibrant independent woman turnt into sad broken empty shells.

Answer 29

She worked as a teacher and went to school (now has her phd). But I got to spend a fair amount of time with her as she always put me in the school she worked at (private school education for free). I think it was a good thing. Now I am independent and have seen a strong woman take care of herself. I have alot of goals and also see the importance of quality time with the family.

My dad also worked alot, but I don't think the time apart hurt me in any way. I enjoyed the time I spent with them and they both taught me to work hard for what I want in life.

Answer 30

My mom worked, but my dad worked shift work, so he was sometimes home when I got back from school.  Both sets of grandparents also lived with a a few houses of us, so my parents had ready access to baby-sitters.  My brother and I played team sports (me softball, him football), I danced, he took karate and she never missed a game, recital or belt test.

Because of my parents work schedules, I learned to cook (sometimes I'd start dinner for my dad or fix his "lunch" if he was working nights), take care of the house (I'd start laundry before my mom came home) and become independent and efficient.

Answer 31

My mother was a full time working mother My father a full time working father (why is it that you are not asking after the father Is he not important?)

Mum is the most amazing wonderful mother I could have wished for. My dad a rock and best friend.

My brother and I are the only ones in our circle of friends that would not want not change anything about our upbringing. My parents made sure we are independent, strong, and have high self esteem, but also loving and caring towards friends and family.