What legal rights do I have to see my dad?

Question

I'm 12, almost 13, and my sisters 15. Are parents are divorced and our mom is our custodial parent. She pretty much hates my dad and has taken him to court a few times because he is behind on medical payments for us, and payments for her lawyer (when she took him to court the last time and put him in jail, it wasn't the first time she took him to court). Basically whenever I ask her for more time with him (I see him every 1st and 3rd weekend and every wednesday) she gets a bit hysterical and starts saying stuff about what a deadbeat dad he is, and so on and so forth. So I was wondering, do me or my sister have any say in our living arrangements?

Answer 1

you can chose now to live with him if you want

but you have to go to court and tell the judge

also, im not sure about how often he gets to see you but its usually decided by the parents what works best

Answer 2

I suspect that you will have to wait until you're 18 years old and then you are of legal age.  Then, you should be able to determine for yourself how much or how little you see your dad.

Answer 3

Many judges can take the opinion of teens into account.. but there is NO law that they have to.  Changing custody is tricky, and normally requires proof that the child is being harmed by the one having custody.  As hard as it might be.. there is a HUGE difference between you are being "harmed" and you are not happy.

To be honest.. every other weekend and one day a week is pretty normal, some kids have it a lot worse. So, dad does have visitation. If mom really hated him, she would be trying to keep him away completely. Legal or not, some parents do that.

I divorced my ex when my girls were teens.  One thing that I worked hard at.. was to tell them that no matter what I thought of him.. I had the responsibility to not instill my anger on them.  Crappy or not.. he was / is still their dad. TRUST me on this.. it is a really hard thing to do, when parents are mad enough to get a divorce. Not everyone can do this.

If you know the term "people skills".. it means to get a message across without making someone mad.  Do you think you could find a way to explain to mom.. that you respect what SHE feels, but you want to be able to love both parents and not be taking sides? Maybe she is scared that when you ask for more time, it might feel like you are taking HIS side, and blowing off how she feels?

I kinda think this.. if both your parents know that you love them, it might ease up some of the tension. Then maybe she will be more flexible on you spending time with dad.. without making it more going to court, which just makes it all worse.