What made my husband become selfish?

Question

He's the youngest in his family. One brother 32, one sister 30. He is 21. He's seemed to have had a "sheltered" life 4m what I've been told. We got married, have a 16 month old son. When I was pregnant he was happy. When the baby was born he said I "spent too much time with the baby". He abandoned us May 31 stating "He didnt love us", and told his sister's husband that he "hates his whole family". He now lives with his mom. Refuses to attend church (which is major in our family and used to be a priority in his own life). I invited him today to see the baby for Labor Day, he didn't respond. He says he doesn't have child support money (owes me $200.00). We set that up ourselves, but I turned him into the state to let them draw up orders now. He is just so selfish, and deleted all our sons pics off his MySpace and everything is all about him since he wents nuts, even more.

Answer 1

Good deal, turning him in. Too many let it go too far before they do. Bet his mom will pay up for him. What made him selfish? Who knows? But he didn't just get that way. I bet you can look back and see it earlier. At any rate, no one did anything about it back when it could have done some good. Probably now a loser for life. Consider one day being independent enough to offer to let him off the child support by him giving up all his parental rights.  

Answer 2

You know I went through something similar. Men are jerks they know they can get away with it. I think they have early mid life crisis. Honestly they want everything for themselves because we are to good to them in the first place. They get tired of having responsibilities so they shut off the past they had to go back to mommy so she can baby him and tell him how wrong we were.  

Answer 3

He's not selfish...he's got head problems. Maybe the responsibility triggered something...in any event, he needs a shrink to find out which s***w is loose. It sounds as if he is on a self destruct path. Take Care

Answer 4

I'm sorry that your husband is not with you and your son.  This must be very difficult for you to handle.  You said you invited him over today and that just means you really want to see him and have him back in your life.  He refused to come over and made a excuse that he didn't have the money.  I'm sorry to tell you that he is not ready to be married and take care of a family.  He is scared, irresponsible, mad at himself for getting into this situation.  He may still love you very much and love the baby...but unless he shows it...it doesn't mean anything to you.  In most situations, the husband doesn't come back around.  They continue to make excuses about not visiting or calling.  IF he continues not to call or come over; the answer is in front of you very clearly.  Give it time but not alot of time.  

Answer 5

he is either going through a phase and needs an intervention or he is just a dushbag that you are better off without  

Answer 6

He didn,t pee on a spark plug or receive some sort of electrical shock or a blow to the head did he ? Could be your all telling him how to live his life being that he was sheltered .Could be he just lost it . Something had to trigger his sudden departure from his entire family . Did you ever ask and really listen to his side of the story ?

Answer 7

wow. Husband must understand that a baby needs more attention and work. and he should know that. buh, u should've shown a lil more attention to him too becuz he felt like u have forgetten him. still, he shouldnt behave like this.. ussually the siblings would behave like this becuz they are kids.

Answer 8

He went home to his mommy?? That tells the story. You were right to file for child support. Have them garnish his checks and any taxes he gets till he grows up.

If he can turn on his own baby he seriously has a problem and since his mommy took him back instead of forcing him to act like a grown up guess we know why he is such a spoiled little boy. Sounds like he turned away from God at the same time, so it could be a spiritual problem too.

Answer 9

It's scary how selfish some guys are and compete for their wife's attention with the baby instead of them too giving the baby the needed attention. My sister's husband did the same thing. While she was pregnant he was nice, but after each of her baby's he would come home late and pay little attnetion to them until he left them. They just don't feel any attachment towards children some guys and are big babies who want themselves to be treated like one. For the record my sister's ex husband doesn't even pay any support and it's sad how after 10 years she still chases him and used all her money to fly to Florida with her children to visit him when he doesn't pay a dime or care. She's in denial he doesn't care about the children and her and works for cash so he can't get his wages garnished. The kicker is he works for his parents company and they support his behavior and don't care that my sister struggles and works her butt off to support the children on her own.

Answer 10

IDK

Answer 11

I don't have the problem with the child support or him forgetting about his son, but my husband said the same thing. He was ecstatic when I was pregnant and right after the baby was born. 4 years later, he tells me that he is tired of coming in second and our son running everything in our lives. He says he doesn't love me anymore and that he wants a divorce. He also cheated on me and he said that this is the reason as well. So, I would say that you need to talk to him. Some guys can not handle not being the center of our existence and he may not ever be okay...but you won't find out until you talk to him and see what is going on.  This is a toughie, good luck!

Answer 12

it could be a number of things that went wrong.

1. Like dude said he could have a s***w loose some where and need medication

2. He could be cheating!

3. He just dont want to be responsible no more and dont want to be a dad.

Answer 13

Wow, I really don't have much to comment on here, but I wanted to say that I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It must be very heart breaking.  

It's good that you got the child support you deserved.  

In the grand scheme of things, i know its not much.

But its probobly more than some get.

Answer 14

  he doesnt want the responsibility of being a man much less a dad....he hasnt grown up yet and is fighting like heck not to....probably the reason he hates his family now is be cause he is fully aware of their values and expectations...and if they arnt giving him, heck for acting this way they should be....and his mom is only enabling him by lettin him live with her.....keep going to church...live they way god wants u too....learn from ur mistakes and avoid making the same ones over and over again.u got a baby now.....he is all that matters.....cut ur losses  and put it in o9ds hands....u cant control him and u cant fix him hopefully with alot of prayer he will change...god willing...until then protect the baby from that kind of rejection what he doesnt remember he wont miss