What makes a happy marriage? ?

Question

I was just thinking the other day...........how many marriages are actually sucessful? Long term ones I mean? Do you guys still have that spark, do you get all giddy when you see each other? Or does that change over time, is the change good?

Please I would just like instances of sucessful marriage, or if not, what went wrong?

Thank you

Answer 1

I have been married for 21 years. I met my hubby on a freeway on my way to work in So Cal. Who would have guessed? We have gone through hard times too-but we never argued bills or discipline when it came to the kids. We had discussed a lot of that before marriage and were engaged for a year and a half before tying the knot. I think that helps. Laughter and joking are a big part of our marriage I like to hang out with him and we are friends. We have diverse interests-I'm an artist, he's an ex-marine,motorcycle ridin', software engineer-but our interest in family, morals and life keeps us hiking and camping and loving each other. Our bodies aren't as hot as when we met, but I love his freckles and wrinkles and all! He feels the same. He's my best friend. The thing that saved our marriage we weren't doing well was to back up from a fight and treat each other with the consideration of friendship and to communicate our feelings. A spouse is not going to automatically know how you feel or that they hurt you-but they can listen and even when not agreeing, try to see that your feelings and view have a value. I know he believes in my art and what it means. I know he loves this family and goes to work everyday to benefit us. I do the same-you have to be bigger than yourself and we get the benefit of fun s*x with someone we love! How cool is that!?

Answer 2

After 11 years we still flirt with each other. He still looks at me like Im the most beautiful person on earth. We respect each other and trust each other. I think what made it work for us is we never tried to change each other. We took the good with the bad.  

Answer 3

Communication!!! And maintaining your own personal interests and relationships (friends) outside the marriage. It is important to stay true yourself. Not only will you be happier in the long run, but you will be more interesting because of it.

Answer 4

Married to my wife for 5 years... and I'm still madly in love with her..

Its the communication that makes us stong and we never fight!

But she needs to get rid of some shoes!!

Answer 5

long term takes a lot of hard work.. some days are really bad and others are really good.

The spark is still there, sometimes the flame sizzles and almost fades away, but then you do things to bring it back full force.

I have been married 8, together 11 and it has not been a piece of cake.. but do I still feel a flutter in my stomach when I hear my husband come home, or see him crossing a room?  yep

Answer 6

When I met my husband it was lust at first sight, he was so good looking. I first was attracted to his looks , I wasn't ready to settle down but I found so much more in him. Kind & loving he accepted me for who I was he loved me fat through skinny fat again. He was and is a good provider, doesnt cheat, he just an all round good man, like all men he has his moments. But we have been togeather for 30 years.We are almost good friends as well as soul mates.Sparks come and go unconditional love lasts forever.

Answer 7

Every marraige has problems, there isn't one that doesn't but the key to be happy is learning how to solve the problem with out insulting each other. To be able to keep the spark you have to get creative, for example my husband and I invent new things to do with each other every day, we cook together, we play sports together, we dance at home, laugh at each other while doing it, having a really good time, or last time I bought an inflatable boat for $60.00 and went to the lake, we were the only ones there in the middle of the lake, it was so romantic, then we had s*x in the car, ect. you know what I mean? the spark doesn't stay there naturally, you have to invent new ways to not let it die!

Answer 8

Happy marriage = friendship + sexual satisfaction

Answer 9

Talk about things and give each other complaiments everyday.  Both need to give more than take.  It is an on going thing so keep each other so you know what the other wants.  He wants to go rafting so you go rafting you want to go to see a movie so he goes.  You eat at his favorite one time and you another.  One give the other 3 choices and next time the other does.  Stay active and bothof you are better off.

15.5 years.

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Answer 10

I've been married for 5 years and we have our rough patches but what makes it sucessful is listening to each other's feelings and concerns and really caring about their well being enough to help them through whatever they're going thru.  I think the feeling you have when you're dating someone goes away after being married for a while which is natural.  But I think some people think that means they don't love that person any more so they get divorced.  It's replaced though by a much stronger bond and friendship.  This isn't to say you never feel that way again but you just get so used to each other the 'newness' wears off.  Marriage is a partnership, you both make a commitment to stay together no matter what, there's no other option.  (unless there's abuse) but sometimes that's what keeps you going.  You need to spend some time with just the two of you to rekindle the fire but it's work to stay married, it's not easy and any one who says it is is kidding themselves or is still a newly wed.  I am more in love with my husband now than ever before because we've gone thru so much together and grown together.  This is why relationships should be based on friendship first because you don't always feel the way you felt when you were dating.  When I used to make love to my husband in the begining it was so new and exciting but mostly I just felt the physical pleasure.  Now it's 10x better because he knows me so well and I feel so much just love for him when we're together like that it surpasses the physical pleasure.  

I guess to sum up: base your relationship on respect and friendship, marriage is work, realize that dating feeling won't always be there, stick with it when it's hard, comunicate, listen, non of that t*t for tat c**p and realize why you married this person in the first place.  

Answer 11

Communication

Love

Respect

Friendship

Fidelity

Trust

Affection

Honesty

Answer 12

Know yourself first so you can know what kind of person you are compatible with. Be real friends. Too many people say their spouse is their best friend but don't know what that means. Be real partners. You have to be a team. Respect each other enough to really listen as well as talk. Go out of your way to make your partner feel special. Make time to be a couple only sometimes. It doesn't matter how many kids you have or how hectic your lives are. You need time to connect only with each other, as a couple, as if nothing else was important.

Answer 13

Well I know of several long term marriages, and the main thing they all have in common is the fact that God plays a very big part in their lives. I'm a firm believer that it takes 3 to make a marriage work God plus the husband and the wife. It also takes both the husband and the wife giving 100% at all times to the relationship. I've seen this applied to the for mentioned relationships as well as my own marriage and know that it not only works, but also works well. I'm saying that both parties give of themselves, not one being lord and master over the other.