What makes a man a "real" man?

Question

I asked a question yesterday about what rights feminism denies men and one of the answers was "The right to be a real man." This led me to wonder, what is a real man? Aren't men the adult version of all males? Why do males have to work at being "real" men. If being a "real" man isn't automatic, why not? What do you have to do to become a "real" man? Do you have to be tough and violent? Do you have to be a stud, pimp or player? Can you show all of your emotions or do you have to deny parts of your humanity to be considered a "real" man? Who confers "real" manhood upon men? Other men? So who conferred "real" manhood upon them? What purpose does "real" manhood serve?

There are a lot of questions here and I will choose the most detailed and comprehensive answer. I'm looking for signs of critical thought and some real insights. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

A real man loves his family; he is determined, devoted, loving, caring, a gentleman, provides, protects, respects, honors, reasons, kind, patient and humble. He is a man of his word, says what he means and means what he says.  He is physically and mentally strong.

A man who is a coward is not capable of love; he blames, faults, punishes, shames, degrades, abuses, demands, attacks, abandons, is loud and disrespectful.  He is physically and mentally weak.

Real men are rare because in our society being accountable for behavior has become "rare".  Our society has become too tolerant of immoral and ignorant behavior.  

Mothers who think they are capable of raising boys alone and the courts allowing and rewarding mothers with money instead of ability has weakened our society.  Boys need a Fathers qualities to comprehend their position and responsibilities.  Mothers make excuses for their sons bad behavior, a Father punishes his son for bad behavior.  The boy who's Mother made excuses for him will cause him to continue to excuse his own bad behavior.  

Mothers of illegitimate children are no longer "shamed" in our society and it is the children who will suffer the consequences of their Mother's behavior. This changed when the welfare programs paid Women by the amount of children she concieved, five children with five different Fathers became acceptable and profitable. Many young girls who were rebellous teens could get away from their parents home and be supported by the welfare program as long as they kept having babies. I witnessed my own sister make a living off the program and it ruined her and her children, never having Fathers. It's sad because these are the men in our society today who are clueless what their roles are, they never had Fathers or a decent example of a Mother to comprehend how to manage their own lives and families today.  If this trend continues we will ALL LOSE the meaninging of a "real man". From the many little teenies that write into Yahoo about their pregnancy questions, it scares me to death how these young children have no clue of the hardship and WRONG beginings they are concieving, they are clueless and don't know the "Difference"..........

When you ask the question, what is a "real man", you need to also consider and be concerned about what's a "real woman"?

Answer 2

I think a "real" man is decided by other men, like who is the toughest and what not.  But it really is all opinions.  A real man to me is a man who can show his emotions and his artistic side without being ashamed, and can treat me well without being a pompus a.s.s.  Being a "pimp or a player" just means you have obviously low self confidence and are the farthest thing from a real man.  I think for men, it's in their genes to be competitive and try to out-studly the other ones because they had to do that back in primitive times to get women.

Answer 3

a real man takes care of his family and responsibilites without bitching.

being a pimp and a player makes you a disease ridden nothing.  

Answer 4

A heartbeat and brain waves.

Answer 5

a real man is a complex individual.  he is emotionally strong, but still able to show his feelings.  he is motivated to provide for his family, but not too proud that he can't ask for help when needed.  he is kind and generous.  

a real man does not care what others think about him, only that he is doing the best that he can and that his family looks up to him.

these ideas that a real man must have had s*x with a lot of women, or out -drink a sailor, or be the toughest scariest guy on the block, are ridiculous.  

Answer 6

This is a good question. Do not feel bad for asking this. Contrary to popular belief, it takes more then having a “twig and berries” to be considered a man. There are boys that have these “tools” and still don’t not measure up to being considered a man. There is a saying that goes once I became a man; I put away all childish things. As we see in here often, most men assume that in order to be considered a man you must be dominate, physically strong, have high levels of testosterone, with male reproductive organs; and in some ways they’re right. But these are the physical and internal attributes of a man. But from what I’ve seen, it’s more mental that it is physical.

A man is someone who’s lived life and has learned from his mistakes. He understands that it takes more then being the dominate member, or alpha male as a lot of the alpha idiots in here put it, in his household. He understand that in order to be the head of his household he can be the disciplinary figure, but he has to be able to show compassion and humility towards the members who dwell within it. A man works hard to ensure his family wants or needs for nothing, and it doesn’t have to be a job that requires physical labor. It can be a job that requires him to design and engineer parts, or configure and operate a computer. He can sit and listen to a person in need, or he can teach a class of many. He can use his hands and operate on a medical patient, or he can create a catchy tune for an advertisement. It doesn’t have to be lifting and moving heavy things to be manly in nature. He educates himself by staying a step ahead of his competitor mentally. Because brain power, an education is the most powerful and deadliest weapon that a man can posses. I have seen many men who are strong as an ox, and dumber than a box of rocks.

A man is someone who earns his respect, but respecting others. He respects the opinions and ideas of the both the dreamer, and the protester may he agree or disagree. Showing patience as they are being heard, so that he may be heard in return. He is gracious for the blessings he has received and he strives to be a blessing to others who cross his path. And most importantly, he RESPECTS women the same way he expects someone to respect the women in his family. He doesn’t call any woman, anything he wouldn’t want someone to call his mother, sister, daughter, aunts, or nieces. He is firm, yet caring, he is compassionate and understanding. A real man is wise beyond is years because he understands that no one is perfect, and that as a human we should live and let live. He doesn’t have to be controlling or possessive to assure himself that he is a man.  He understands that we all make mistakes in life, love, and relationships, but we and he learns from them. He takes the lessons that life teaches him, and applies them to his book of knowledge, holding no place marks for grudges against anyone for wrong doings in his past. A real man is a man of faith, a man of honor; and he stays true to his family, country and word. The only bad thing about a real man is that they are so few and far in between.  

Answer 7

I don't know, but something tells me there's much of them left :)

Answer 8

He is.

Much of the rest is resolved from sorting that out.

The processes is often known as growing up.

There are many theories - many revolve around the same concepts.

Often saying what he should be, what he is worth or what he is.

I personally decline the idea of their being men and real men.

Its somewhat like saying there is this standard that you should want to attain. Why? I set my own, and it has a simple fail safe that keeps me in check. Its a question, am I honestly, openly with myself proud or at least ok with the person I am so far? (I accept not all choices/actions are ones to be proud of, not all days will I have such luxury).

The rest falls in to place after that. So I claim to be a man. And I ponder the need to define myself, beyond myself. I can be no more real than when I am who I am. If I have to live up to something then it will be due to my word being given (a rare coin, often called a promise and spoke in the same context), and not a standard of others.  

Answer 9

Technically, anyone born male becomes a real man at a certain age.  That age is a matter of opinion.

But the term "real man" is more often used to refer to a certain mindset.

-A real man knows his own abilities and worth.  As in, the opinions that others hold about his character mean nothing to him.  Unless he holds them in extremely high regard, thus having good reason to care what they think about him.

-Gets everything done that he knows needs to be done.  

-He does not pay attention to the nagging or whining of women (or men, for that matter).  He just doesn't have time for such rubbish, much more important things to do.  Though, if you speak to him with reason and thought, then he's likely to pay attention and respond is a similarly thoughtful manner.

-A real man has morals and sense of personal responsibility.

-He never freaks out about little things, as he knows that life is meant to be enjoyed.  Not a constant freak-out-fest.  Generally, he wont even freak out about big things.

-He is confident and knows when to act.

-He's not afraid to speak his mind.

There's much more, but those are some major points and should give you an idea.

Answer 10

A real man has a p***s and testosterone.

Answer 11

I agree with s**y McGee

"A real man has a p***s and testosterone."

Answer 12

well a real man has a p***s and two balls...

that makes a real man

:D

Answer 13

A real man is a kind, caring individual who puts others over himself.

Answer 14

Being a real man IS automatic. Unless he gets s*x-reassignment surgery, he will always be a real man.

Answer 15

You're taking a dumb response to an even dumber question and trying to expand it by applying it to a completely objectionable term... that's not very insightful or critical of you... that's just judgmental.

There's no such thing as a "real" man as a "real" man means different things to different people. To a tyrant, a real man is probably someone who makes decisions for everyone else, and best projects their power onto others. To a feminist-L*****n, a real man is the obstacle to liberation. Therefore, the individual decides what a real man is, just like the individual decides what a real woman is.

Personally, I would throw this back in your face. What is a real woman? Is a real woman a subservient and pathetic creature that relies solely on looks to get what she wants? Is a real woman not able to make her own decisions and actually earn her worth in life? Does a real woman have to put her own problems on the rest of society to make her feel better by crying all the time?

^^^ Those are what your questions look like from a man's point of view.

Now... was that detailed and comprehensive enough?

Answer 16

Honor and truth.

Perhaps I'm old fashioned, but men mean nothing to me unless they pride themselves on these two principles.

Answer 17

Since boys are raised differently than girls, whereas girl toys are baby dolls (caring/nourturing) and boy toys are sports and trucks (competitive) then when boys mature into adults they have difficulty meshing in providing/protecting side by side with competitiveness.  A real man, in my opinion, has learned and embraced not only to be king of the hill, but as well a profound respect for women, himself, his surroundings, his effect on the world, and has his priorities straight.  

Answer 18

a real man would not read through your ridiculously long explanation in order to answer the query.