What makes a man leave a marriage after 33 yrs?

Question

The love of my life, after a longterm relationship gave me the speech as "I love you, but not in love with you", had an affair, then wanted me back. I filed for divorce, went thru with it, now am regretting it. He has a second relationship going on now, it started before the D was final, but she was the one who initiated it. Still tells me he loves me, still contacts me, I still want to return home, but he's more interested in the fun of a new girlfriend; but everyone says she won't stay with him.

If you have any good answers, please contact me soon, twinkleberry99athotmaildotcom

Answer 1

Get a whole new makeover and move on.

If he can go back and forth he will. Is that what you want?

Don't you think you deserve better?

Answer 2

Men and women are just  looking for something more and once they find it, unfortunately they will move on without looking back.

Answer 3

I know you love your husband but you have to move on. He's having his cake and eating it too. You need to get some self confidence, you don't need a man like that in your life. You are divorced and its over and done. You will meet someone else someday if you open your heart to new possiblities, and that new person could make you happier than your husband ever did. Don't feel like he's the last one left on the planet because he's not. 33 years is a long time to be married to someone, but he's got new girlfriends and had an affair; if it were me I'de say to him leave me alone quit contacting me and you blew it buster.  

Answer 4

This has probably been brewing in your marriage for awhile and you have gotten used to his emotional ambivalence.  You need to realize that its over and whatever you want to believe you had with him is more in your imagination than reality.  You have probably been in denial for years and are seemingly in denial now.  His behavior was disrespectful of you and discounted the time you invested in the marriage, but again, you need to take responsibility for your part in that, you have been far too passive.

You need to take charge now and the first thing you need to do is cut him off.  He can't call you anymore unless he's ready to come back, period. He is having his cake and eating it too. He gets to have his girlfriend and also he gets to have you letting him off the hook for his behavior, so he gets to feel no guilt; no pain.  Not acceptable.  

Get yourself healed. Go to a counseling agency in your community and begin the search for yourself that will lead you to your eventual healing and happiness. Do it now, you've already wasted too much of your life.

Answer 5

Could be an underlying issue finally became more than he could bear, not sure what though.  People are strange.  Thing is he is still with the woman he ended a 33 year relationship for.  He might still love you but no he is not in love with you.  If you went back tonight he would still be with this woman and might take off again.  No offense but not sure what you'd go back for.  There is nothing left for you there.    

Answer 6

I know that 'moving on' is lots easier said than done. What else do you do after 33 years of marraige? It's obvious he only wanted you back while he didn't have a new, fun girlfriend. Even if you didn't file for divorce, he would still go behind your back, or just plain in your face. Did you think he'd fall on his knees after you filed for divorce? I'm sure he still 'loves' you, but not the way you want him to. You share a bond that took years to create. You're comfortable for him, like an old shoe. Move on, get some therapy, and find a man who won't d*ck you around.

Answer 7

lust

Answer 8

a 33 yr old...

Answer 9

You are stuck and left behind but likes to play on your past because its confortable and cozy. You are in an awkward situation. Too bad you divorced. That sucks. I've been there...Maybe you just need to live one day at a time and try to be happy. Take Care...My aunt who is a wonderful person says..."have confidence!"

Answer 10

One of my uncles left my aunt after more than 20 years.  He wanted to date meet women preferably younger ones.  Now he is married to a woman at least 20 years younger than him.  Forget your husband.  If he cared about you he wouldn't have done any of the things he has.  Men are not the only ones to do such things.  Don't degrade yourself my accepting his hand outs.  He is just using you.