What makes my kids so thankless?

Question

I raised my kids by myself from the time my daughter was 11 mo old and my son was 3 until now. Their dad had a fling with an office hole and ended up deserting us and never payed support or helped me do anything.

I put myself thru Jr college and worked my rear end off. We had it rough. My old 75 yr old dad babysat and had to take care of them for hours while I worked.

Their dad talked about me like a dog.

They do nothing but criticize me and insult me now. My son told me the only reason he ever comes home to see me is because he has a truck stored in my garage. I have asked him to remove it at least a dozen times. I pay his cell phone bill every month and he treats me like c**p.

My daughter told me I was a terrible mother and writes horrible things about me on the internet. She tells people I am crazy and they advise her to seek psych counseling for me. I pay her cell phone, her car payments and just recently she got on the state farm intenet bill pay site and payed her insurance out of my checking account.

What is wrong with these kids?

Answer 1

The bigger question is, why are you letting them use you? If they are going to act like little b******s then let them handle their own affairs.

Tell your son the truck is out of the garage by the weekend, or you're going to have it towed off and he can pay to pick up up from impound.

Stop paying his phone bill, and any of her bills. Why would you keep throwing money at kids who would disrespect you so? Stop being a doormat and maybe someday they'll see you in a different light.

You can't help what their father tells them...all you can do is be the person you know you are and maybe someday they'll wise up and see their father was spewing garbage for years, and you tried to do right by them and all they did was shiot on you.

Tough love Mom...cut 'em off.  

Answer 2

I'm 17, sometimes i disrespect my mom because i don't understand where she is coming from. One time she started crying to me and asked me why i hated her. I have a great mom, i'm just really thick headed and i don't know my appreciation very well. I know sometimes i take things i have for granted. I think it helps to show people how much worse their life could be. My mom was a single mom for a long time, and my dad talked c**p about my mom a lot. My mom just never returned the bad remarks. My parents pay for my cellphone and such, but i have to pay for the extra texts and ringtones, I pay for my own clothes, and I work to make my own money. I'm not sure if you make your kids do that, but I know its given me a bit more respect for money and what my parents do for me.

There is apoint where kids just hate their parents just because, and kids talk c**p without thinking, but as you get older sometimes you learn that what you said was just in the heat of the moment.

I hope eventually your kids learn that you love them so much and see that you try hard for them. Just don't shove it in their faces about how much you did, just don't let them push you around. I don't talk to my father anymore because of the way he made me feel about myself. He made it sound like i was ungreatful and that i was the reason he had no money.

You sound like a great mom, so don't let your kids' thick heads make you question yourself.  

Answer 3

First of all the problem is the kids don't respect you, they have been trained to use you. Stop paying her cell phone, her car payment and internet. Just tell her that you are through. Also stop State Farm from taking money from your account for her. I imagine since you are the only parent that you went far beyond being nice trying to make up for the fact that the kids had no Dad around. Stop now. There is no reason to let them treat you this way. They need tough love. They need to know that they can't treat you this way and then you will still pay their expenses. If your daughter wants these items, she should pay for them herself. She is selfish and a brat. What is wrong is that you have spoiled them and now you are suffering the result. Cut her off today. If she is mad, so what? She isn't nice to you anyway. Maybe she will change. If you do nothing, nothing will change.

Answer 4

who knows, stop paying for them and they may give you more respect

Answer 5

I can't possibly know their reasons for acting like that from a short description, I would need to know their life stories.

But I can ask you:  Why the h**l are you still paying their phone bills are car payments if they treat you like that?  Cut them off!

Answer 6

First try not to take this the wrong way but..DUUUUUHHHH. Whats wrong with them is that they treat you like c**p and you STILL  give them everything.

Stop paying their bills. Lets see if daddy dearest steps up...if he does...its about time...if he doesnt then they will learn even faster.

Sometimes it takes actually being the bi**h they write about on the internet to make them realize how good they had it.

If the car is in your name that you make the payments on for her....turn it back in to the dealership. Have his truck removed and placed at his dads or at a storage facility and then say HEY your truck is in XYZ storage,,,the bill is 90 per month. Pay it or they take it.

STOP BEING A DOOR MAT AND A ATM CARD. You are their mom. Control was lost somewhere, and respect never started. You dont deserve to be treated this way.

PS call state farm and tell them that she entered the wrong information in and gave them your bank info by accident...and that they do not have permission to take funds out of your account. THey will reverse the payment....

Answer 7

They do all this becasue you let them. you pay for all there stuff and they have it sooo easy! Im 19 and my parents dotn give me penny for school, car, phone or gas! I had to pay my cell phone bill at 16! Cut them off and give them an actual reason to not appreciate there mother! When they need you most they will be knoking at your front door!

Answer 8

They are unappreciative, and taking you for granted! Stop doing things for them if at least they won't respect you as their mother! I would let them pay their own bills, and pull that trunk out where the garbage man can come pick it up (let him know so he can get it if he wants to). You don't have to pay her car payment. If it is in your name, then you should be the one driving it around. Ungrateful, are they? Let's see how much they miss the things you do for them once you stop!

Answer 9

QUI PAYING THEIR WAY, u spoiled them way 2 long.it'll b ugly but they'll get over it!

cancell all accounts they have info. about, & kick her *** OUT!!!  

Answer 10

There is no respect for family or decency anymore. Kids  have no respect on how to treat others. This is taught thru tv shows, movies, music, MTV & chatting. It is a society of "I want it now", "charge now pay later",  "have s*x today, worry about conquences later". MAKE YOUR CHILDREN PAY THEIR OWN WAY !! Sorry, I do not have a great job, can not afford all the "wants" or pleasures my children want. My children 31 & 21 bought their own cars, cell phones, I paid for the insurance & some gas

About the truck, set a date to have it towed. Let son know the date. Say it is abandoned & they will come get it.

Do these kids work ??? yes ??? let them pay their own cell phones !!!! Let them pay their own car payments. SET A DEADLINE on paying these things !!!

Answer 11

yea i used to be like your kids and then one day all of a sudden it hit me all at once what my mother had given to raise me right. I called her and told her i loved her and that she was my hero. remember your kids are kids they are dumb but deep down your know you did the right thing even tho it hurts when they act like they dont love you

Answer 12

You are letting them walk all over you the same way you let the d**k that ditched you with them... grow up be a firm mother and cut them off if need be. The more you give the more they'll take. Stop putting crutches under them and let them fend for themselves... let them taste the hard work you've been doing in the game of life. if you love your kids you will let them grow ... kids always say **** about there parents the internet just slaps it in your face. no matter what they say you have given and given, but have they earned??? Cut them off!!! BURN THE NEST!!!  

Answer 13

no offense, but why are you paying their bills, they sound pretty unappreciative. They sound spoiled to me. You need to cut them off. Just my advice though.

Answer 14

If they truly hate you that much, they you should drop their expenses. Tell them if they want those things, they need to pay for them themselves. They don't appreciate you so they don't deserve everything you have been doing for them.

Answer 15

From one mom to another, your kids are SPOILED! sorry but its the truth. It's incredible how you manage to go back to school and worked I give you HUGE credit on that. I think that

1. You didn't give your kids enough disipline home (Work & School) I know..

2. Your trying to buy their Love so you dont feel so guilty about the break up with their dad.

3. You have to learn how to give TOUGH LOVE! You need to show them how to be responsible with their own actions!

If your kids are teenagers now make them get a part time job and pay for their own cell bill and what ever else they can handle, They treat you like that cause you dont put you foot down there for they are not gonna take you seriously nor respect the things you do for them.

Good Luck

Answer 16

just  try  get     better

Answer 17

You pay his cell phone bill?  YOU MUST BE KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!  Change your password on your account without letting her know.  That will make her mad.  Seems to me you need to distance yourself from them.  As for the truck, sell it.  Who has title?

Answer 18

Toughen up!  Stop paying for their stuff... As long as you're playing the role of doormat... they're going to step on you and wear you thin.  You're good to them now; and they're badmouthing and mistreating you?  h**l; cut them off; and start working on some happiness for yourself.  Have his truck towed to a scrapyard (give him registered notice of your intent first); and tell them that when they're ready for a reality check... they should call you again... but stand up for yourself!

Answer 19

For one stop paying their bills, they for some reason are ungrateful children from what you have wrote they should be thankful to you, but I guess there is always 2 sides to a story no offence at all to you.

Answer 20

Maybe you gave too much.They do not respect you.Stop giving into them and demand respect.

You dont have to have people in your life who treat you badly..............

Answer 21

They have grown up seeing people treat you badly and have learnt the lesson that it's ok to abuse you. They don't respect you, but when they're older they will understand. I went through this with my mother, and grew out of it almost as soon as I left home. I was resentful, and she was the only one left to take it out on, so she copped it.

Gain some respect- (although you are already owed it by them, they need almost re-training). Stop paying your sons bills, if you act like a walkover they will treat you as one. They aren't viewing it gratefully and as a favour, they have decided you owe them this. They don't believe there will be consequences for them by s******g you over, so they have nothing to lose.

He seems to have created the truck situation so he can still come and see you, but doesn't have to show he wants to. See what happens if you arrange to have it removed. You have to be brave to be a good parent. That was all I needed from my mother but I never saw it, so I pushed her and pushed her. I hope this helps, you deserve better

Answer 22

In my opinion I think that a large part of their disrespect is the fact that their father disrespects you, but also it could be that you probably didn't whoop their butts because you felt bad for being gone all the time, stop paying for their stuff make them go out and get jobs and do it them selves, if they are going to disrespect you, tell your son he has 30 days to remove his truck from your property or you will have it towed away. As for your daughter make her pay her own way. Either you have to put your foot down and demand respect, or make your kid fend for themselves separate you bills and accounts so they no longer have access to your information, take back your house keys and everything. The fact that they disrespect you they will have to take that up with God one day, send them out into the world, pray for them and let God deal with them. Good luck

Answer 23

Im sorry but they somehow think you owe them and you dont. You need to warn them you are not able to pay their bills as of_____ and give them a date that you will stop giving out money to thankless people. you dont mention ages but you say car payments and such so they are old enough to work and support themselves...hopefully when they realize money isnt easy to get they will respect some of what you have done for them. Your son is rude and also give him a time when the truck will be towed away if he doesn't remove it. Respect is not always given until demanded and I know demanded sounds harsh but if done properly its a good thing and will benefit your children.