What makes some men leeches to women?

Question

Specifically men who have nothing going for themselves: unattractive, uneducated, jobless/ low quality job...yet, are confident in leeching on to women who have these qualities?

Answer 1

Well, to put it bluntly, the core of it is survival.  

If you were a stray cat and you found a meal from a stranger in an apartment complex once, even if it only paid off once, wouldn't it make sense to expect you'd keep lurking about that same complex looking for another free meal?  Essenitially guys who are 'dead enders' but yet smart enough to know how to use others (like the ones you described) are very similar to a stray cat.  They are probably guys who have known some level that they don't have all the assets they need to suceed on thier own (or are too lazy to try).  Maybe it's looks, education, employment, or even the desire to support themselves, but if they found a hand out once from someone who was able to compensate for thier own shortcomings, why would they not keep going back, looking for another free meal?

It's a bit of a metaphor, but hopefully you understand the point.  In the end, anyone without some sort of mental disorder has an instinctive need to survive.  Guys who have found they can use a woman to get by (even if only for a short time) are pretty likely to try to do it again... just like a stray cat.

Your question makes me wonder if you or someone you know has been in a situation like that recently... or maybe even currently.  Either way it's up to the women in those situations to decide if they want to be someone who plays an enabling role or not.  If you're really just interested in why guys are like that, hopefully this will help you understand.  I don't think it means the guy is necessarily a bad guy. but if you know you can do better, why put up with it?  Don't forget though that there are plenty of women out there who are just as guilty of using a more successful man for the same reasons.

Answer 2

I think what is implied is, the man will do whatever he can get away with. If a woman allows a man to leech off her, he will.

And what is wrong with the occasional stupid, ugly poor guy getting himself a decent woman? He may be lacking those qualities but could still be a very good human being, just not one who lives up to your perception of success. God knows there are plenty of women lacking any sort of  qualities leeching off men or who use men to springboard themselves into a position of success.

Answer 3

If some women are willing to support guys such as you describe, what's stopping them? A better question would be what makes some women allow guys, with nothing going for them, to leech off them?

Answer 4

Although I've never encountered such a scenario, I am sure that it's a similar underlying pathology that's exhibited when the roles are reversed.  There are serious inherent character flaws or voids which such people are trying to fill by whichever means possible.  This is not normative behaviour.

Answer 5

CONTROL

Answer 6

The same thing that makes women leeches to men...they have nothing going for them.

Answer 7

Some people like to be in the position of power.....While others are  comfortable without the need to dominate others.

My ex expressed a want for me to be successful...while at the same time maintaining her power by sabotaging and demeaning me. I raised my daughter and made $70,000 while caring for a 3 month old infant and she would tell me I was useless.

We have since divorced....And she has done the same exact thing to the next guy....he is now raising their child and no longer working.

A good partner does not do that to a person. And like they say behind every good man...is a good woman. The reverse can also be said to be true.

Answer 8

Both sexes make accusations that the other one has too many members that leech onto partners.  You do not say if the women object, and you may be passing judgement where it is not your place too.  Sure have an opnion, but we all have those, so it is worth little.

I had a woman like that in my life several years ago.  Don't start generalising and thinking it is only men who do this.

Answer 9

They leeched off their mothers, because their mothers allowed them to be content and just leech and not make anything of themselves. The transition from leeching off mom to leeching off girlfriend/ boyfriend (if they're g*y) may be the most difficult time in his life.

Answer 10

women

Answer 11

Mama always said there's a lid for every pot!

And obviously, if a man or woman can be a successful leech, is it really any of our concern?  Here in the States, we have  Trophy Wives > beautiful babes that are married to rich guys old enough to be their daddies.  

I never fault anyone who finds a way to use what they have to better themselves.  

Do you?

Answer 12

What makes some women gold-diggers?  Some people simply see this as a means to an end.  Others find it disgusting.  Different people different work ethic.