What older women know that the younger ones do not?

Question

There was a class I took last spring semester which had a myriad of women from all ages. So as expected, the conversation topics were just as broad. One thing I found intriguing were the differing points-of-view from the younger women in my age group (18-25) versus the older women (pretty much mid-thirties and up).

I loved this. I felt like the older women had much more to offer in the conversations. Furthermore, they were great to receive advice from. Women I could talk to as a friend and yet, still receive objective advice from a "parent's" standpoint (something I could never receive from my own mother without the scrutiny and reprimanding involved).

So now the class has ended, about a couple of months ago, and I just can't help but to miss our discussions. I wanted to know if there were any women out there (preferably age 30+) that could offer any tips or advice (or even just something you wish to get off your chest) to us girls in our 20s. And I mean on anything.

Relationships, personal finance, independence, health, anything! Something you wish you knew that you know now or something that you used to obsess over when you were younger but seem insignificant today, or vice versa.

I'm coming to a point in my life where my friends (although with such pure intentions) are just as clueless as I am when they feel the need to offer advice. So with that, I guess I'm just in the mood for random advice (of your choosing) that could help the young and naive, such as myself. Your thoughts? Tidbits? Rants? I'm all ears....well, eyes. :-}

Answer 1

Find the kindness in yourself and share it.  Life doesn't owe you, you need to put in.  From heart ache comes that wisdom that you are talking about. Everything in life has a price be carefull that you can afford to pay for your choices. love is wonderful but often fleeting.

Answer 2

even though we fall in the same age category i just wanted to say this question is great and i have to say that mangopuppy and malruhn gave two excellent answers. i fall in the category of 18-25 but i only have friends who are in the age group of 30-46. they give great advice, they are great role models and i always felt like i was the only one who loved having older friends but now i know that someone else looks up to and respect older women.  

Answer 3

Can an old man answer?

Enjoy love as it comes... and don't fret too long when it goes.  That "one true love" that you will "love forever" will pass, either of their choosing or your choosing, and there will be another.  If they're the ones to go, go ahead and cry and eat a gallon of ice cream - and then get over it.  Don't worry about it.

Don't forget all the loves and heartaches that you experience.  The fact that (insert name here) broke your heart when you were 13 is something that made you into the person you are today.  The fact that you've slept with (insert number here) people has made you the person you are today.  

Remember this when you get freaked out and ask your next love interest how many people they've loved or slept with... does it really matter?  All those experiences - or LACK of them - has made that person that you love today.  Don't hold it against them.

Go somewhere.  Get the heck out of where you were born and see something of the world.  Guess what?  People are very different everywhere you go.  Also - guess what?  People are the same everywhere you go.  Experience this odd combination.  Check out what it's like to live through a hurricane - and a blizzard - and a sand-storm - and a boring day.   Sleep in and then stay up all the next night so you can watch the sunrise.

Life is amazing - and you'd be sadly amazed at the number of people that never bother to live it.

Don't be one of those people.

Answer 4

I am a mid life woman age 51. I have 3 teens and am now a single parent because their dad died 2 years ago in an accident.

When I was  young I thought I could do everything: get a great job, have kids, get married and get a good education. I wanted to be a mathematician but that never worked out. I have changed my dreams many times during my lifetime. I would say to  young women: feel good about the future and make some dreams. But don't despair if your life doesn't turn out like you planned it when you were young. Be ready as you live your life to change your plans, dreams and goals and just keep on going...

BTW don't have a kid until YOU decide the time is right. Use contraception.

Answer 5

Women in their 30's and older know their way around the bedroom much better than younger girls.

Answer 6

Tomorrow will be my 30th Birthday. And an old friend of mine and I where having lunch Saturday talking about the lessons we've learned in life (she's 32). Some rules I've learned to live by are:

1. No matter what anyone has to say about who you are, what you look like or what they think you should be, always find happiness in simply being yourself. Because when this life is over, the only opinion of you that will matter is the one you have of yourself. You'll never be perfect (no one is), there will always be someone who looks better, and most of the time you won't live up too someones expectations; but you will always be you. learn to speak words of encouragment and self praise because you're the first person to hear the words that you speak. Those words can be the mold used to cast your personal self-image.

2. No matter how much you love your man, always have your own $h!t!I hate to sound harsh, but people in your life at times can come and go. And the last thing you want is to have to depend on someone else for a place to lay your head. Always have your own money saved (just in case of emergency's), always be able to find your own place if need be, and NEVER depend on someone else do to do for you what you can do for yourself. Remember, no one will take care of you better than you can. Always have a job (even if its part time) with your own income going into your own checking/savings account (even if you are married). Having your own in life gives you a sense of self accomplishment, independence, and self-awareness. And there is absoulty nothing wrong with that.

3. Always seek to better yourself. Never stop learning, Never stop seeking higher education, learn how to fix and repair things on your own, and never give up on your dreams for the sake of allowing someone else to live theirs (unless it's your children, and in that case, just put them on hold, but never lose sight of your goals). Learn as much as you can about how to manage your money, ownership, read all legal binding contracts prior to signing them (and if you don't understand them get someone who does), and stick by your word (if you say you're going to do something, do it!).

Last, always love life. Find pleasure in the simple things that other people over-look. Because it's the little things in life that help you stay grounded, and keep your sanity.  

Answer 7

I wish I knew that feeling like it was time to be married was a mistake. :)

36 year old Woman.

Answer 8

The primary piece of advice I can offer:  know thyself.  You will spend your lifetime figuting this out, but it will be a wonderful journey.

1.  NEVER mortgage your future to a credit card.  Save up and pay cash as much as possible.  You will never pay it off if you don't.

2.  Guard your health at all costs.  Stop dieting.  Eat well and stay active.  Don't smoke.  Always use sunscreen; it makes a huge difference.  Never skip dessert.

3.  Lovers come and lovers go, but a true friend is to be cherished.  

4.  Do what you're passionate about.  The money will come.

5.  Never compromise your principles.  Never give away your power.  Only do what honors you.  If someone treats you with disrespect, forgive them and move on.  Life is too short to waste a single minute on the aszholes.

6.  Never take anything for granted.  Life is very, very short.  You have no idea how short.  

7.  Cherish your family.  They know you and love you anyway.  Forgive, forgive, forgive.  You will sleep better at night.

8.  Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff.   Forgive.

9.  This, too shall pass.

10.  Never deliberately hurt someone else's feelings.  It's just not worth it.  Revenge means nothing.  And forget this c**p about earning respect; always give it first.  If the other person expects you to earn theirs, they're not worth knowing.  Move on to someone better; the world is full of better people.  But always forgive.

11.  The quality of your life is measured not by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

12.  The only thing worth having in life is peace of mind, because if you have that, whatever you don't have doesn't matter.  If you do have that,  whatever you don't have doesn't matter.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

1)  Next time you are feeling lousy or obsessing about your skin / thighs / hair / etc., just remember that at any given moment in time, 99% of the world's population would trade places with you in an instant.  (Being in America, you have access to more money, food, housing, education, and opportunities than almost everywhere else in the WORLD.)

2)  If a man really wants to spend time with you, he will not be "busy" or "tired."  Don't make excuses for him.  Go out with the guy who will crawl through fire just to have the chance to take you out.  

3)  Get a college degree no matter what.  Get a job that you enjoy and where your coworkers like and respect you.  Have your own identity.

4)  Don't spend your time looking for an awesome guy.  Spend your time becoming an awesome girl yourself (education, confidence, inner happiness, lots of friends, well-adjusted).  When you are an awesome girl, an awesome guy will find you.  (Kind of like how water seeks its own level.)

5)  Travel, travel, travel.  Even if you have to stay in youth hostels to be able to afford it.  Go to far places.  Trust me on this one.