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What period of time should one alllow between pleasuring oneself and shaking the Queens hand?

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Is it bad etiquette to shake hands with her majesty only five minutes after using the same palm to relax in the gentleman's manner? Should one use different hands (or perhaps a butlers hand) for each task, and keep monarchs and genitals entirely separate?

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Enough time to get properly dressed.
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wtf
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Shake the Queen's hand whilst the s***n is still damp from your palms!
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go and eat a hamburger
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One minute is plenty, if you use that minute to wash your hands.
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Don't worry, she'll feel flattered! She should count herself lucky that your are such a loving, loyal subject!
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MULTI TASK!
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Hahahaa! Relax in a gentleman's manner - teeheeteehee! I'll have to tell my husband that one - that'll be his new defence.
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In the first instance, I can't find any indication from the usual sources (Debrette's, Who's Whom, etc.), but I believe that the ideal etiquette would be to desist from pleasuring oneself immediately before meeting the Queen.

Pleasuring oneself is almost certainly better etiquette in almost all cases, than ask Her Majesty to assist. Anything less than 30 seconds, and you're likely to fall foul of the Royal Close Protection detail. The General Rule: take at least long enough to wash your hands, straighten your tie, and zip up your trousers.

The first question is whether you are right handed or... e-hem... a South-Paw. In practice, as long as she didn't engage you in light conversation, one were not right-handed, the lighing conditions were appropriately limited, and one had sufficient coordination, one could perform both tasks simultaneously. It is possible that shaking hands with the Monarch, given a very particular turn of mind, may even facilitate the process. In her day, she was a fine looking woman.

"And what do you do?"

"Ahhh-hhhh-ahhh-uhh-uH. Wow?"

"Ah yes. Of the Gloucestershire Ahhh-hhhh-ahhh-uhh-uH. Wows?"

Rather than exclusively measuring this in terms of a time period, other factors may also be significant, including; cleaniness; fully catching one's breath; appearing fully and smartly dressed in the line; not blushing, and not having a silly smile on one's face.

This of course assumes that one is answering this queston from the point of view of a Commoner being introduced for the first time. Were one, for instance, an Ambassador, Foreign Head of State, Bishop, British (or Scottish) Peer of the Realm, or Member of the Queen's Immediate Family, different rules may apply, especially in the case of the Duke of Edinburgh. I believe that, were one Prince Consort, in the Royal Bed Chamber, on one's wedding night, one could effectively improvise.

Rules were protocologrically correct at time of writing, in the case of interaction with Her Britanic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, D.G., F.D., etc.. Different rules may apply for Queen Beatrice of the Netherlands.
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none, dont even wash
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Well i deem it appropriate to wait at least 15 minutes but no longer then 25
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I would recommend that you do it up until the minute she extends her hand...royalty love that stuff...or perhaps you could even extend you're phallus as opposed to you're hand for her to shake...that would be even more flattering! because it shows you trust her...world leaders love to know they are trusted!
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maybe you should tell her to do it for you. after all is it not your taxes that pay for her and her family. when you think about it, if you are paying her through your taxes and she plays with your one eyed monster,does that make her a prostitute.
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lmao nah the queen does it before shaking ur hand ;)
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Perhaps you should wait until after meeting her? That way you have the chance to include her? Seems almost a bit presumptuous to assume she wouldn't want an invitation. And you call yourself a gentleman...
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Why would one want to pleasure oneself before meeting the Queen old boy I've always found her to be most accommodating in that department, her small talk whilst performing the dirty deed could do with some brushing up though, its not easy keeping up ones p****r while she drones on about the Duke of Edinburgh's piles I can tell you. Tip top.
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You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar!
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I believe that proper etiquette is to ask if ma'am would like to shake one out for you
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You cad.
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Get someone else to pleasure you!

( my rates are very reasonable)
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just shoot off in her face WHILST shaking her hand.

then maybe lower her hand and she might give you a quick toss.
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OMG - are you serious? If so, I would think that any time after the pleasuring is done and you have washed your hands is fine.
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well it would be good etiquette to wash your "gentleman's liquids" off your hands before shaking her majesty's hand ;)

then again, she might like it :P
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